Thief in the Water
by All4Riku
Summary: Guess who lives next door with the cops on her trail? Will the Organization and Demyx handle a world famous thief? DemyxOC R
1. Chapter 1

A/n: This is my second fanfic ever! Now…who is next? (Has an evil grin on her face and lightening is appearing behind her.) Oh yeah, I don't own Kingdom Hearts or anything else that is owned by other people in this story. And if it took too long to put up, oops.

Chapter 1

Demyx, hood up and listening to his CD player, was on his way to Twilight Town to buy spy gear. The reason: Zexion has a tape of a certain New Years party and it seems he had too much to drink. He must get it! As he was about to open a portal to Twilight Town, he just noticed something. Demyx saw a small one leveled house which was closest to the castle. _Since when did we have neighbors? _He shrugged and went through and was at Twilight Town.

He kept walking until he made a sharp turn and bumped into a girl. The collision was so strong they fell backwards on their backsides.

"Owww!" The girl said. Demyx got up and helped her up. "Sorry, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh, I'm good. How about you?"

"I'm-" Demyx took a look at her. Amethyst eyes and long dark brown hair. There were braids in the front and she wore a sky blue knee-high dress and white flip flops. The girl picked up her duffel bag. _Wow, she's cute. _"I'm okay, just fine."

"Why do you have your hood up?" The girl tried to look at his face but couldn't see.

"It's a habit. What's with the bag?"

"Um…I just got back from a trip at…Disneyworld. It was from a cereal box. Funny huh?"

"That's, very weird. Guess you're lucky. Did you, um, go to the Disney Cruise?" _Gotta try to reel her in, just got to ask her name…_

"Yeah, you like the water or something?" She tilted her head and smiled a bit.

"Yep." Demyx grinned. "So…what's your…?"

Just then a police chase with a black BMW (do they have BMWs?) and police cars zoomed by and the BMW hit a fire hydrant. The guy went out the car and received a take down from a cop. Demyx looked away and when he was about to look at the girl again, she was gone. "Where'd she go? Ah well." He just went to the spy gear shop and teleported back to the castle. The shopkeeper was speaking gibberish and fainted.

_While Demyx Was Gone…_

"Stop it." Larxene said to Axel, who was popping tons of bubble wrap (LUUV BUBBLE WRAP) to annoy her, while she was reading Marquis de Sade. He kept on doing it, and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it. And…5 minutes later. And doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it and doing it until Larxene couldn't take it any longer. She slammed her book down and stood up.

"STOP POPPING YOUR DAMN GOD FORSAKEN BUBBLE WRAP AND LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"Say please." Axel simply said, grinned and kept on popping the bubbles.

Larxene's right eye twitched. She never says "please" and "thank you" to anyone. And the thought of saying "please" to Axel made her skin crawl and want to cast her nonexistent heart into the pits of Hades.

"When hell freezes over and you're not a pyromaniac with perverted fantasies."

"Okay, have it your way." And he kept popping the bubbles. If you can imagine Saix going berserk over not finding his morning coffee when he's angry, that is what Larxene would look like.

"Sigh Fine. Ahem." Larxene took a deep breath. "P-p-p…ple-e-e-e-e…okay I got this…pleeeeaaaaaaaasssse?" Her voice was hilariously squeaky.

Larxene quickly covered her mouth and got water and drank it all in one shot. "I'll never do that again in my life."

"Well, now we're gettin' somewhere. Can't wait to show the rest of the boys." Axel took out a camcorder that kept on playing Larxene getting annoyed to say please.

"But as for not popping the bubbles…Screw you." And he did it again. Larxene's last thread of sanity snapped. She summoned her knives and made lightening appear on them. Then Axel was running for dear life and dodging the knives and Larxene was screaming bloody murder as she was chasing him.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS YOU S.O.B! TIME TO DIE!"

Demyx came in with a disappointed look on his face. "Who am I kidding? Roxas is right. I can't get a girl to save my-"

"DEMYX YOU RETARD! GET OUT OF THE DAMN WAY!"

Demyx looked up and Axel passed him at light speed. Then Larxene tackled into Demyx so hard he fell out the window yodeling/screaming. Larxene stopped and looked out the window. "Stay out of my way idiot! Now," Larxene looked around inside, "where the hell are you hiding Axel?"

"Y'know, you're kinda hot when you're mad." Axel appeared behind her, turned her around and kissed her. Larxene was beyond shocked and disgusted. Axel threw the camcorder out the window, hitting Demyx on the head while he was getting up from the ground.

Demyx was covered in dirt, twigs, and leaves and walking in the entrance and rubbing the bump on his head. He passed Zexion who was staring at him. "Idiot."

"I didn't plan on getting thrown out the window Zexy!" Zexion gave him a death glare and Demyx backed away. "What have you been doing Demyx?"

"Getting spy gear."

Zexion's only visible eyebrow went up. "And for what exactly?"

"Um…for a mission. To, um…the Matrix!" There was awkward silence and Zexion sighed and tilted his head to the left.

"Probably one of your stupid outings or concerts. If you keep trying to get dirt on other celebrities, you'll get a restraining order or worse. Remember what happened when you tried to spy on Paris?"

Demyx had a doomed expression and his teeth started to chatter. He had to get 5 months of therapy in that incident. "I don't like Chihuahuas!"

"Yes. You developed a slight phobia of Chihuahuas. Anyway, I can tell you're lying."

Demyx gulped. "W-what do you mean?"

"There was more to your little trip. Did you commit any crimes again?"

"No way! I went out the castle, found out we have neighbors-"

"**EXCUSE ME**?"

Demyx turned around and found Saix in deep rage. "**I HATE NEIGHBORS**!"

"Is that why you're always mad at Axel and Zexion in the morning?" It's true. Saix, being VII, is between Zexion, VI, and Axel, VIII.

"No duh. Now in light of recent news, I'll be at the neighbors' house."

Lexaeus walked passed Saix to inject him with a relaxing medicine. Saix calmed down and walked away. "Thank you Lexaeus. If Saix were to leave, the neighbors would be dead or fatally injured and the house would be wrecked." Zexion said showing no sense of relief.

"And I wouldn't have a chance to give them some of my secret Jell-O."

They were silent. Of all the things Lexaeus says, his weird statements come out. "I'm going to Xemny."

"You shouldn't call Superior that. Remember what happened last time?" Zexion said. Demyx remembered; he was stuck as one of Xigbar's target practice objects for 2 weeks. Demyx was almost made into the Melodious Swiss Cheese.

"Lexaeus, can you come with me just in case I need a witness?" Demyx opened a portal and stared at Lexaeus with his blue puppy dog eyes.

He was silent, as usual, and went through a portal. Zexion stood there and smirked. "Well, if he wants to get that tape, he won't get it that easily."

"Superior, Demyx has news." Xaldin said coming towards Xemnas. "Bring him in."

Demyx came in with Lexaeus and a carefree grin. "What's up Xemnas? I know something you don't know." Demyx said in a sing-song voice.

"Demyx, did you ever get hit on your head one too many times?" Demyx shrugged. Xemnas sighed, "Alright what is it?"

"We've got neighbors!"

Everyone was silent. "Very well. We must set terms to those people so our missions can go smoothly. Xaldin, we'll need the Chair during the meeting." Xemnas breathed in heavily and everyone else covered their ears, Lexaeus covered his ears with big headphones he took from his pocket (where did he get those?). "**ALL RIGHT YOU MAGGOTS! GET YOUR A-S-SES DOWN TO THE MEETING ROOM NOW!**" His voice echoed out through the entire castle and boomed like a boot camp sergeant and a couple of windows broke.

Everyone appeared in the meeting room as Xaldin set the Chair, which looks like an electric chair, invention of Vexen, and weirdly, Larxene. They all took their seats. Marluxia was working on a Bonsai plant, Luxord was making a house of cards, and Demyx was drumming on the table to a song on his CD player. Xigbar was throwing empty beer bottles in the air and shooting them. Naminé was there sitting in a chair near Xemnas but away from everyone else.

"As you all know, something has come up. The thing is, I realized we have neighbors. Now…"

"**I HATE NEIGHBORS!**" Zexion gave an electric shock on Saix's chair and he calmed.

"As I was saying, we must negotiate to the neighbors. They can disturb our missions and doings. Now, here are the rules:" Xemnas took a scroll of paper and opened it to read the kind of long list. "Xigbar, no target practice on the neighbors. Vexen, no unsuspecting experiments on them. Saix, don't kill them. Axel, if there are any, no creeping out young girls. Demyx, don't be annoying. Larxene, don't torture them. And Roxas, do not, and I repeat, do not put pranks on them. I can't afford another lawsuit with all the bills I have to pay. Understand?"

Everyone except Lexaeus, Xaldin, Saix, Naminé, and Zexion was chatting. Xemnas's jaw clenched and he slammed his fist on the table, causing a rumbling and everyone shook. "WILL YOU IDIOTS LISTEN TO ME?"

"Then make your dumb speeches shorter and less boring gramps." Roxas said eating chips. Everyone laughed and Xemnas screamed. "IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU'LL BE EATING MY COOKING!"

Everyone definitely stayed quiet after that. Eating Xemnas's food is suicide. "Thank you. I'll send a message to them. You're dismissed. Naminé get a tape recorder." Naminé got up to get it while everyone noisily got up and Roxas went to the bathroom for his next prank.

The girl, Siruxa, was eating California rolls and moving chests full of gold and jewels with waves of her hand. "Port Royal, Atlantica, next stop is Agrabah. I bet those guards aren't much of a challenge. I'm gonna be rich. Hee-hee." She heard a knock on the door and put down her food and. Elyxa looked through the little window on the door and saw a Dancer Nobody.

"Good a challenge." Siruxa summoned an arm-length black boomerang with a silver Chinese style dragon design winding on it. She kicked down the door and attacked the Nobody. It disappeared and all that was left was a package. She read the address as she picked it up. "Next door? Since when do they send me anything?" Siruxa opened the package and found a tape in a tape recorder. She pressed play and listened.

_Dear Neighbor(s), _

_It has come to our attention that you live next door to our humble abode. Me and the rest of the residents wish to see you and ask some questions of you. And of course you might have questions for us. Please go to that big castle thingy next door at noon sharp. Thank you for your cooperation. Roxas stop teepeeing the room! Ahem, sorry about that. _

_The Superior (and very handsome),_

_Xemnas I_

_P.S.-There will be someone at the entrance to escort you for your own safety from one of our residents. And please pay no attention to any abnormal behavior. Damn it Roxas! If you keep this up I'll feed you my mystery stew through a funnel!_

Siruxa was silent and made a small puddle of shadow appear on the floor. She took the tape out and chucked that and the tape recorder in the shadow into an endless fall.

"Hmmm, alrighty, I'll come. Here Jinx." A black cat came over and sat on the couch. Siruxa took the fish from part of some of the sushi and fed it to her. Then she moved her hands as if making a sphere and a small bubble of shadow appeared. "Guess what? I'll finally meet people just like me. Isn't that great?" The cat meowed and stretched. "Maybe I'll find some stuff there good to steal…" She grinned and laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

A/n: Yay! Reviews! Thanks Marissa and Elias. Sniff Stupid cold. Why do I have to get sick? At least I have you. (Sips hot chocolate). Note: I don't own the Organization or Kingdom Hearts T-T. Now leave me alone. (Cries in a small corner).

Chapter 2

"ROXAS WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!" Xemnas screamed as he saw mud and swamp gunk all over the 5th floor halls. It smelled like rotten eggs, elephants, skunks, and Xemnas's already rotten burgers. Roxas was innocently whistling and eating bacon.

"Nothin'"

"NOTHING? YOU SCREWED UP THE HALL AGAIN AND IT SMELLS LIKE CRAP!"

"But Xemnas, you're screwed up and are like crap. You don't have a problem with it." Roxas threw a piece of bacon in the air and ate it when it came back down. Xemnas tried to maintain his sanity, or what's left of it, and calmed.

"I have no choice." Xemnas took out a bowl of oatmeal, but it was dark brown and bubbling. Roxas backed away. "Open wide for your daily dose of oatmeal."

"AHHHHHHH!" Roxas ran but was grabbed by Xaldin who snuck up from behind. "Now Roxas, we can do this the easy way or the hard way?" Xemnas edged closer and Roxas could've sworn he saw a fish head floating and sinking.

"F-fine. I'll clean up the damn mess."

Xemnas threw the bowl away and smiled. "Good, you have 2 hours. Make sure you clean this up by noon. Remember that the neighbors are coming."

While Xaldin and Xemnas were walking away with their backs to him, Roxas flipped the middle finger at them and a grin came up his face. "Marluxia and Demyx…" With that Roxas teleported to the kitchen where Marluxia and Demyx was having breakfast.

Demyx was eating a stack of pancakes and listening to his CD player again. Marluxia was having a fruit salad and staring at the big mouthfuls of pancakes Demyx was eating. "If you keep this up you'll choke to death...on second thought never mind." Demyx opened his mouth to show the chewed up pancakes and Marluxia felt like puking.

"Guys, I need help." Roxas said twiddling his thumbs.

"Now you notice?" Marluxia scoffed. Demyx laughed, but started choking on his bite of pancakes.

"Xemnas made me clean up the 5th floor and I need your flower scents to freshen up that crap and Demyx's water to clean up." Demyx fell to the floor trying to save his life and banging the floor. "Uh hiek hep he (You guys help me)".

"What's in it for us?"

"I won't destroy your garden and I won't keep stealing Demyx's PS2 and Xbox whenever I want."

"Uh hit hut? (You did what?)" Demyx was angry and gripping the table. Marluxia helped Demyx up and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. Demyx was gasping for air and drank orange juice. "Deal." Marluxia and Demyx said.

* * *

"Agrabah: down. 'Touch nothing but the lamp' my ass." Siruxa said stuffing all the treasure she stole from the Cave of Wonders into a small burlap pouch that caries an unlimited amount of items. When she put all the treasures away she looked at her clothes which had dirt from sand, water, and fruit from running from the palace guards. "Stupid guards. Now my clothes are screwed up."

Siruxa took a quick shower and put on a black mini skirt and a long-sleeved off the shoulder baby pink blouse and was looking for black knee-high socks. "Darn it Jinx! Give me my socks." The cat came in with the socks in her mouth and started purring and going around Siruxa's legs. "Now don't you kiss up to me." She took the socks and put them on.

There was a bell ringing from a clock that it was 11 o'clock. "Where are my shoes? Ah, here they are…" Siruxa picked up light pink Mary Jane's and put them on. "Jinx, do you think those guys next door are weird?"

The cat meowed and stretched. "Well, there is always a boom sound and people yelling over there. I could have sworn I saw someone fall out the window everyday. And that guy yesterday probably lives there. He even bought that Disney cruise thing." She waved her hands like a puppet master and shadows rose up to have a human figure. "Do my hair please." And the shadow started making two low braided ponytails with light pink ribbons and small black hair ties for the ends to tie them while she sat on a chair.

Siruxa turned on the TV to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. The scene of when Jack was about to escape from the army near the beginning. But then a special news report came up. "STUPID NEWS FOR STOPPING MY DAMN MOVIE!" She was about to throw a shadow ball at it.

"We interrupt your programming for developing news. The femme thief Shadow Fox has struck Twilight Town with the accomplice who crashed yesterday around 6 o'clock. The accomplice was abandoned by Fox and she took all the robbed money and jewels and letting police getting to him. He doesn't know who the person looks like because Fox was always masked during their meetings. We have video footage of the chase yesterday."

Siruxa put the clock down and saw the footage. The BMW kept on dodging cars and the police. 5 minutes later it crashed into the hydrant and the accomplice got out and tried fighting the police on. Luckily she wasn't shown in the video teleporting out of there in front of the person she doesn't know is Demyx. "That bitch set me up! I did nuthin' now get the heck off me!"

She sighed and turned the TV off. "Idiot." When her hair was finished, she shooed the shadow away and it melted into the ground. Siruxa got up and put on a black, phantom like mask and a black cloak. "Better not have said anything." She teleported out of the house and the cat started to guard the front door.

* * *

Marluxia made roses fly everywhere and the room started to smell good while Demyx washed away the dirt with his water. Roxas was leaning against a wall doing nothing. "Hey kid, you said to help you, not do all the work." Marluxia said edging toward him.

"Shaddup you're not the boss of me."

"No but we are your superiors. You clean the mess."

Roxas stood up and swiftly swung Oblivion at Marluxia and he went flying through the wall to outside. Demyx looked through the hole in the wall. "I'm sure as hell not cleaning that."

"Lazy idiot. You are going to clean that up." Roxas said to Demyx as he pushed him.

Demyx narrowed his eyes and summoned his sitar. He started playing music and a big tidal wave appeared almost reaching the ceiling. Roxas was wide eyed and stepping away. "Um…I take it back! I take it back! Demyx have mercy!" He got on his knees and begged, but Demyx stuck his tongue out and pulled his eye lids down.

The wave crashed through and Roxas was completely washed away. The water started to flood through the entire castle. In the Addled Impasse. Saix was leaping with joy. "I've finally cured my anger! Yay me! Go Saix, go Saix, it's your birthday, it's your birthday, not-" The water crashed through and Saix went berserk cursing Demyx's name.

Zexion, Xaldin, and Lexaeus were doing a staring contest and Luxord was holding bids in a hallway. Axel was grinning at Larxene and she was sending death glares at him. There was a rumbling sound. Axel saw the water coming. "Oh my fucking…" And the water crashed through and Xaldin and Zexion were still in the contest while Lexaeus is somehow on a surf board riding the wave.

"Gurgle gurgle glurg gurgle (Where did he get that surfboard)?" Larxene yelled at Axel. He just shrugged.

"Dude, I feel like I have a hangover…" Xigbar was swooning back and forth holding a potion vial. Vexen rolled his eyes. "Insolent fool. You drank my Sailor's potion. Now you'll be in delirium thinking you're a drunken sailor."

"Vexen, why did you make a Sailor's potion?" Xemnas asked trying to quiet down Xigbar who started singing that 15 men on the Dead Man's Chest song. Marluxia was slowly healing from the fall on a lab table.

"For interrogation purposes. And just in case Demyx, Saix, Roxas, and Axel get me angry." Suddenly they felt a rumbling sensation; Vexen and Xemnas gave out old lady screams, and Xigbar pointed at the wave. "Thair she blows! I'll get you white whale!" The wave crashed into them and Lexaeus said "Kawabunga!"

After going through the entire castle, the wave finally stopped. Lexaeus stood up and shook his head to get water out of his ears and ate ice cream. Everyone else got up and turned to each other and their eyes had a thirst for blood.

"DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYXXXXXXXXXXXX!"

Demyx heard the yelling and teleported to Naminé's room. She looked up from her drawing of the castle and asked, "What did you do now?" Demyx just rushed to the wall opposite the door and found a button.

"You wouldn't wanna know. Naminé I'll be gone for a few months."

"Where are you going?"

Demyx found a red button and pushed it. A blue pod appeared and Demyx went in. "To Mexico of course. Now I gotta vamoose outta here. Adios Amiga!" And Demyx pushed a button and La Cucaracha came on, but the pod wasn't moving and the music died down. He furiously pressed the button but it wouldn't work. Everyone busted in the room with murder in their eyes. "Demyx……………" Naminé covered her eyes for the big bash and started eating an ice pop with Lexaeus.

And he kept pressing the button and as they got closer, he had a high pitched scream. They beat, kicked, head locked, clothes lined, seismic tossed, electrocuted, shot, burned, tackled, threw, and slapped him. Now Demyx was black and blue and being healed by one of Vexen's potions.

"Demyx, you did so many retarded things, but this was the most retarded one." Zexion said toweling his hair.

Xemnas twisted his hair to squeeze out the water. "Demyx, you will be Larxene's make-up therapist for the month now." Larxene had an evil grin and Demyx's eyes widened. Anyone who is Larxene's therapist would end up in a need for one after one session.

"Well…Roxas was going to make me fix a wall he put a hole in and he made me and Marluxia clean up the hall for him!"

Everyone turned to Roxas. He had an innocent grin and waved. "Well look at the time. I've gotta go for a…umm…fitting, so…well Tootles!" Roxas teleported out and disappeared. Xigbar, still seaworthy, was staring at the spot where Roxas was.

"A vast mateys, where hast the scallywag run off to?"

Roxas was on a lounge chair wearing a blue lei and Hawaiian girls were fanning him with giant palm tree leave fans and one was massaging his shoulders. One girl was massaging his feet and the other was feeding him grapes. "Ahhhh, this is the life. Can I get a colada please?" Another girl served him a tall cup of piña colada and Roxas clapped his hands. "Bring on the hula dancers."

The girls started dancing and Roxas was completely hypnotized. Axel teleported right next to him and tried to talk to him. "Roxas what the hell are you doing? Mr. Stick Up the Butt wants you…you…"

And Axel became completely hypnotized by the dance of the hula dancers. More girls came and gave the same treatment to Axel as Roxas and giving him a red lei. Larxene teleported to where they were and was furious at what the two were doing.

"YOU ASSHOLES!" She punched them on the head and teleported herself and the boys back to the castle.

"Roxas, you will fix the wall and if you ask anyone to 'help' you, you'll be Saix's new anger plushie #1050."

"Make that #1051."

Roxas turned to Saix who had a bloodlust grin and a plushie of a baby chick. The head was missing and stuffing was messy because Saix squeezed it so hard the head popped off, and Roxas shivered. "And as for you, Axel, you will be confined to Vexen's lab as Vexen's monkey boy until you have good behavior."

"Monkey boy? Are you kidding?"

"No and stop acting like a girl." Larxene sent a death glare at Xemnas who cringed a bit. "I-I mean a woos."

A door bell rang and everyone looked around. "A vast! The great white whale is calling!" Xigbar yelled and Xaldin hit him on the head, knocking him out. "Demyx get the door. It must be the neighbor. And as for your sentence, it will be minimized to be Lexaeus's assistant in his cooking by cleaning up without pay."

Demyx sighed in relief and quickly teleported out of there to the door. He opened it and was amazed to see who it was. "Hi, you guys wanted me to come right?"

He was dumbfounded when he saw Siruxa, with her cat at her ankles, at the door. _She-she-she-SHE'S THE NEIGHBOR?_


	3. Chapter 3

A/n: I got more reviews! Yippee! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Demyx: O.O I think she's cracked.

Axel: She's been cracked.

Riku: You think this is bad?

A/n: DO THE DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER! DISCLAIMER!

D, A, and R: All4Riku doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. Now get us out of these freakin' chains! (Strapped to chairs by metal chains).

* * *

Chapter 3

"Um, are you okay?" Siruxa looked at Demyx with her hands behind her back. Demyx was frozen. She tilted her head and got very close to his face. "You're so different from yesterday."

"Huh? How do you know it was me?"

"I just guessed." She shrugged and giggled. "Siruxa." She held out her hand to shake. Demyx was still frozen in shock and shook her hand. "D-Demyx."

"So, are you gonna show me around? You're boss on crack or whoever that was said someone will show me around."

"Uh, yeah! Yeah, that's me. So, I'll bring you to everyone else." He opened a portal and went through. But Siruxa waited. She stepped away from her cat and crouched down to meet its eyes.

"Now, let's see…" She moved her hands and a humanoid shadow appeared from the cat's shadow. "Now, you'll go to every room in this place and get the goods I like. But try to blend in. And bring them to the house. Got it?" The shadow nodded. "Good. Time to play." The shadow melted in the ground into her shadow to follow and Siruxa stepped into the portal with Jinx the cat with her.

Everyone is waiting, Xigbar finally back to his semi-normal self, and Larxene is getting impatient. "Where the hell are they? I'm getting bored out of my friggin' mind." Axel inched near her. "You don't have to be bored with me around. We've got all day." He winked and licked his lips.

"Dude I'm gonna be emotionally screwed up if you keep doing that!" Roxas said covering Naminé's ears. Larxene's eye twitched and lightening covered her right fist.

"DAMN PERVERTED ASSHOLE! THUNDER CRASH FIST PUNCH!" And she punched him in the direction of the portal Demyx and Siruxa just went through. Axel was about to crash into Siruxa but she bent over backwards barely dodging it and got up after he flew away. Axel ended up crashing through some walls until he ended up in Xaldin's room. There were unlimited bars of chocolate on the floor of his room.

Everyone looked at Xaldin and he twiddled his fingers. "A guy can have cravings can't he?" Pure utter silence. "I HATE YOU TOO!" Xemnas slowly shook his head.

"Are you the new neighbor?" Everyone stared at her, and thank goodness for bones because Marluxia's mouth would drop to the floor. Zexion gave the usual "calling someone an idiot when they do something stupid" line to Marluxia.

Siruxa winked and saluted. "That's me! And you must be that #1 guy? You'll need to learn how to talk through a tape recorder."

Saix's eyes changed red and was berserk. "**I HATE NEIGHBORS!" **Lexaeus took out a big needle out of nowhere and injected Saix on the butt with a sleeping potion from Vexen. Siruxa raised an eyebrow and looked at the big needle. "What bit his ass and died?"

Xemnas raised an eyebrow, thinking that she was being insolent. "Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas."

Axel walked in with chocolate smeared on his face and he was eating a dark chocolate bar. "Ummm, wazzup?" He gave a peace sign and Xaldin narrowed his eyes.

"Drop that chocolate." But Axel just smirked. "Make me, crap face." Xaldin walked to Axel and whispered something in his ear. Axel's eyes widened and was pale. He ran for dear life and crashed through more walls screaming and making another hole.

"What did you say?" Luxord asked looking at Xaldin who had a mischievous grin. "Do you really want to know?" And Xaldin whispered to Luxord. He had a doomed expression and ran through the hole Axel made.

"WAIT FOR ME! DON'T LEAVE ME! I'M SORRY MOMMY!" Everyone was silent until Xaldin said something. "And that redhead was Axel."

Siruxa looked at everyone, then at Demyx. "This is the most fucked up group of people I ever met."

"Let's go somewhere more formal." Xemnas said and took the chocolate bar Axel dropped. Everyone teleported and Demyx opened a portal for Siruxa.

* * *

Xemnas and everyone else, except for Axel and Luxord, were in the meeting room and Siruxa was at a different end of the table with Jinx the cat on her lap. Lexaeus was carrying Saix over his shoulder and dropped him down hard on the floor. Saix was asleep, and recently unconscious.

"Now, let's get this over with. You won't interfere with our missions like tampering with anything on our property. And you can't just come in here as much as you want. Now…" Xemnas and everyone else put on sunglasses. Xemnas took out a shiny metal pen (like the one in Men and Black) and aimed it at Siruxa. "You won't remember about the weird powers you have seen here." And he pushed the top of the button. But all it did was make a ball point pen end come out.

"THE MONKEY TRICKED ME AGAIN! MR. GO-GO-BOOM SAID IT WAS A MEMORY ERASER! I PAID ALL OF ROXAS'S COLLEGE MUNNY FOR THAT!"

Lexaeus took out a tuba and made that womp womp waaank tune thingy. Vexen looked at the tuba and took it. He chucked it away and threw ice spears at it. But Lexaeus took out another tuba and played the tune again.

"What?" Roxas said raising an eyebrow and shocked. Xemnas regained any sanity and cleared his throat. "Ahem, it's nothing. You'll have enough munny for college. You'll just have to get a part time job."

"Oh. That's just fine." In truth, Roxas has been having a part time job as a manager at a mega fast food chain. He planned to munch off of the college munny to buy the Organization from Xemnas. That mama's boy would buy anything, even from a monkey named Mr. Go-go-boom.

"Can we get back to talking about my terms?" Siruxa said filing her nails. Xemnas nodded furiously and listened. "Well, I would like no one to be on my property either. And if anything weird like cops coming here happens, I'll need cooperation." Everyone had a weird out expression and was staring at her. "And…I want to join the Organization."

Xemnas, who was drinking tea, and spat it out nearly getting Demyx wet. Everyone slapped their foreheads and sighed. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"

"Are you too brain dead? I-want-to-join." She said the words slowly and separately.

Xemnas regained a drop of sanity and calmed. "Well I agree with your first two terms. As for your last one…HELL FRICKIN' IN THE STATE OF SWEET AUNT PETUNIA'S APPLE PIE FROM GRANNY'S OVEN IN KANSAS NO!"

Siruxa frowned. "Why not?"

"1.) We don't know you. 2.) You're not a Nobody. And Bacon.) You're mean!"

Zexion tapped Xemnas's shoulder. "You mean '3' sir."

Siruxa got up. "Well, I'm Siruxa, your next door friggin' neighbor. I like sushi, pizza, sweets, and all kinds of food without onions or mustard and video games. And if I'm mean too bad. And I am a Nobody thank you very much."

Demyx quickly turned his head to her. "That's how you left so quickly yesterday. It was either that or you were abducted by aliens."

Zexion tilted his head. "Yesterday?"

"Enough! Prove you are a Nobody!" Xemnas said pointing at Siruxa. She teleported right in front of his finger and let Jinx bite it. "OWWW! ME BOOBOO! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Xemnas started sucking his finger and got a lollipop.

"This is your boss? I feel sorry for you guys."

Xaldin glared at her and walked until he was five feet away. "Okay, you're a Nobody. Big whoop. What's your element?"

"I control the shadows."

He raised his eyebrow and stepped back. "Prove it"

Siruxa let Naminé carry Jinx and put her hands out in front of her. She moved her hands and aimed it for Vexen. His shadow started to move up to the ceiling and Vexen flew up there. He screamed like an old lady and was struggling. Siruxa twirled her finger in a circle and Vexen was spinning. She moved her hand to the floor and Vexen lay down on the floor. Lexaeus grabbed a plastic bin out of nowhere and Vexen threw up in it.

Everyone in the background put up signs that say 10, but Marluxia's sign had a sign that said "Date Me?" Larxene took the sign and shred it. Xaldin nodded. "Interesting. Superior?"

Xemnas looked at Xaldin with the lollipop still in his mouth. "Nu-uh. Me no like her, Papa."

"Hmph. Fine, be that way. But karma comes back and bites you in the ass."

Xemnas became semi-sane again and scoffed. "Oh yeah well karma can just…" But Siruxa teleported right in front of him and kicked him in the groin. Xemnas wailed in pain and a fetal position.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! MY MAN PRIDE! YOU PSYCHO BITCH! CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"

Siruxa walked away from Xemnas and waved. "See you soon peoples!" And she teleported out of there. Marluxia, Demyx, and Zexion stared at the spot where she just was. "Man she's hot…" They said at the same time.

Demyx looked at Zexion in shock. "Not you too Zexy!" Zexion hit Demyx on the head and sighed. "…Idiot."

* * *

A few minutes later, Xaldin found Axel and Luxord in a living room sort of place muttering something. "Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yes master." The two Nobodies said zombie like and at the same time.

"Good. Now, don't ever eat my chocolate…or else." Xaldin made a creepy death glare at them and they screamed and hugged each other. He teleported out and Axel and Luxord stared at each other.

"HEY WHOA!" Axel backed away from Luxord and Luxord raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong about that?" Axel's eye twitched and ran away, making yet another hole in a wall.

Xemnas ate another lollipop and went in his room, which of course was the biggest room out of everyone else's and had tea pot sets everywhere and a big TV. He opened a closet and there were stuffed baby animals and plushies. He stared at a gap between them and screamed.

"MR. DOILY FLOPAGUSTUS PANSEY III! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Siruxa was watching the accomplice prancing around like Little Red Riding Hood on TV and laughed. "Wow, I can't believe that Loopy potion would do that. Hahahahahhahah! Now…" Siruxa looked at a huge pile of munny and a huge stuffed white bunny rabbit with pink ears and a light purple belly and holding a basket, which would probably be Mr. Doily Flopagustus Pansey III. She summoned her boomerang and made a blade appear along the edges. She slashed the rabbit on the stomach and there were gold coins coming out of it.

"And by karma I mean myself of course. And I sure do bite. Don't I little bunny?" She looked at the mutilated bunny and let Jinx use it as a cat toy, and eventually a monument in her litter box.

A/n: ………………………………………………………………Cookies

Axel: Where did that come from? And why did she make me hug Luxord?

Demyx: You shouldn't question the author.

Axel: Why? (Riku whispers in his ear and Axel looks freaked out.) O.O

Riku: Yeah, it's that bad.


	4. Chapter 4

A/n:……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Axel: What is she trying to do?

Riku: She's trying to blow up stuff with her mind.

Demyx: Why?

Me: I'm trying to concentrate! (I don't own KH)…………………………………………………………

Chapter 4

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Xemnas cried and in a fetal position again. Xaldin and Vexen came in because of their boss's cries and were freaked out. "Superior, what's wrong?"

"THAT MEAN GIRL STOLE MR. DOILY FLOPAGUSTUS PANSY III! HE WAS MY FAVOWIT BUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Xaldin and Vexen turned around and talked to each other. "Xemnas only gets like this after someone says something he doesn't like. Great, Vexen he'll stay in your room."

"Why me? And that idiot Axel is my monkey boy so I'll have less room."

"You always keep the monkey boy in the cage. And the last time Xemnas used my room in his 'mood' it took weeks to get rid of his accident. I keep telling him to not drink water right before he goes to bed in his damn moods. He'll have to stay with Luxord. Speaking of them, where are they?"

Axel just sped past the room in lightening speed and some papers…and a kid holding a kite were flying around where he was just running. Luxord seconds later was pacing himself. "Oww, my spleen, Ronnie! Come back! What did I do wrong? I shouldn't have been smoking in the first trimester!" Vexen raised his eyebrows. "I'll get the sugar for Xemnas. As that creepy nanny said, a spoonful of sugar helps the hot pepper throat potion go down."

"Won't you make him mute?"

Vexen had a mad scientist look on his face. "That's the point." Xigbar went in Xemnas's room and was wearing an Elvis Presley costume, even his hair was an Elvis, and sang "Hound Dog". "And while I'm at it I'll get the antidote for the Elvis potion."

* * *

Naminé and Roxas were in a hall walking and talking about the weekend when Axel rammed into Roxas. "R-Roxas?" Naminé said when she saw Roxas's nose bleed a bit. Axel helped Roxas up and kept shaking him. "ROXAS! LUXORD IS ACTING LIKE THE OLD GUY ON THE CORNER THAT GIVES KIDS CANDY! HELP!" 

He stopped shaking him and Roxas's head was swooning. "Mom give me five more minutes." Luxord walked a few feet up to Axel. "There you are Ronnie, now be a good boy and come here."

"Who the hell is Ronnie? And get away from me ya sick bastard!" Axel used Roxas as a shield from Luxord. "Now, now, if you misbehave Mama will have to make you clean the house."

Just then a snow plow hit Luxord on the head and knocked him unconscious. Larxene held the snow plow and kicked Luxord. "That's for making that stupid bet! As if I'd go out with someone as parasitic as Axel!" Larxene started covering Luxord's face in marker drawings and itching powder.

"Um…what just happened?" Naminé asked Larxene.

"When Luxord takes his sugar pills with coffee, he ends up having a random personality, like this weird mother figure. Thank god it wasn't a suicidal serial killer this time. Stupid Xemnas probably bought them from that monkey Go-go-boom."

"Why does he need sugar pills?"

"They say it is to keep him active in gambling…or it could be that he has ADD and they help him achieve the state of 'whimsy'."

Axel dropped Roxas on the floor and walked to Larxene. "You saved my life. How can I possibly repay you? How about…I don't know…a date?" Larxene's eye twitched and a temple throbbed. She grabbed Axel's face as if she was going to kiss him, but kicked him in the gut and used lightening to send him flying through the ceiling and out the castle.

"Naminé, let's talk about men…You see, they are nothing but toys that must get pain or we women will never rule the world, of course I'll rule the world…" They walked off and Larxene forgot about Roxas and Luxord. And that would be a bad time because a tarantula started to crawl on Roxas.

* * *

Marluxia was looking through a window in his florally decorated room. He was looking at Siruxa's house and looking for binoculars to get a close up. Zexion and Demyx walked past and noticed Marluxia looking out the window. "What the heck are you doing?" 

"Shush! I'm busy." Zexion walked to the window and sighed. "Busy being a stalker. Idiot."

Demyx looked through the window and noticed something. "Hey…since when do the police come around here?" The three guys saw a group of police officers that approached Siruxa's house. Zexion teleported out and muttered something.

"Hey! That's cheating!" Marluxia said and teleported after him. Demyx took a few seconds to know what to do. "Oh yeah! Zexion I will find your tape!" And he teleported out of there.

Siruxa dragged Axel's unconscious body in the house and sighed. "Great, another person fell out the house."

There were heavy knockings on the door. Siruxa made a puddle of shadow appear on the floor and stepped in. Her head appeared from another shadow puddle and saw police cops at the door. She got out of the puddle in her house and took her tiny pouch and stuffed all her stuff in it.

"How the heck did they figure out where I was?" Zexion, Marluxia, and Demyx appeared. "What's going on?" A grin went across Siruxa's face. "Can one of you please get that creepy looking dreadlocked tight wad please?" She gave them a puppy dog pout.

"I'll do it!" Demyx said. But as soon as he said that Zexion teleported back with Xaldin. "Wait how did you…and she didn't even ask…and…uh-oh, overload." Demyx kept going on and on and on and on and on and on and on. Then Zexion hit him on the head with a frying pan.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"For being an idiot." Marluxia and Zexion said at the same time.

"Anyway…Xaldin, can you get rid of the cops please?"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

Siruxa started to fake cry and Lexaeus appeared with a violin playing a sad tune. "I'm not even going to ask how the hell you got here…" Demyx said. "Rrrrrgh, fine." Siruxa pretended to sob-talk. "Thank you." _Ha ha, sucker! _Xaldin opened the front door and talked to the police.

"Sirs, there is a matter that I must discuss with you." He told them the thing he whispered to Axel and Luxord, and the police raced to the car. "I SHOULD HAVE PURSUED A CAREER IN THE CIRCUS!" A cop said as he was running away. "Can I go back now? I'm missing my soap opera."

"Um, since your element is wind, do you know how to make…well…a tornado?" Siruxa grinned and Jinx the cat meowed and its eyes widened.

* * *

Vexen gave Xigbar the antidote and gave Xemnas the potion and sugar. Xemnas was back to normal, aside from the fact that he's mute. Suddenly, Xigbar got up, spun around fast and wore his Organization uniform, and acted like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. "Auntie Emme! I will not give away Toto! Uncle Henry talk to her!" Xigbar said to Xemnas and Xemnas screamed, silently, Roxas's name. 

"Out of all the labels to switch, he switches the antidote with the Ruby Red Slippers potion." Suddenly there was a scream and Roxas ran into the room with Saix following him. "Get away from me ya sicko!" Apparently, Saix trying to get rid of the spider with good ol' Claymore.

"HOLD STILL!"

"Ahhhh, Gertrude…" Everyone completely halted. "Gertrude?" Roxas said. Vexen took the spider from his head and petted it. "Yes, she's my pet spider. Now Gertrude, how many times did I tell you not to run away…3 times...I have no choice…" Vexen held the spider by one of its legs and whistled to Saix.

"Saix, go get the mailbox." Saix's eyes gleamed like a chubby little kid in a candy store.

"YAHTZEE!" And Saix pulled a Babe Ruth on the spider and it went out the window.

"And it's a home run by #7 Saix of the Organization!" Lexaeus said in a baseball announcer voice.

"WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?" Roxas yelled at him. Larxene and Naminé came in. "Why is there so much noise?" Naminé asked going to Roxas. "I try to watch Saw 2 and what do I get? An old geezer, a retard boss, one eye, Mr. My mommy got too close to the microwave, shrimp, and…Lexaeus." Larxene said throwing a handful of popcorn at them.

"Oh no! It's the wicked witch of the West! Good witch of the North (Naminé), Scarecrow (Roxas), Tin Man (Saix), Lion (Lexaeus), get me water to melt this skank!"

"WICKED WITCH? SKANK? THAT'S IT! YOUR ASS IS GETTING SENT BACK TO KANSAS YA SKIPPIN' DOWN A YELLOW ROAD RETARD!"

Larxene was about to tackle Xigbar until there was a rumbling sound. They went to the window and there was a huge tornado destroying Siruxa's house. A cow and a clown flew by in the tornado and Lexaeus was on an old fashioned bicycle laughing like an evil witch.

"How did Lexaeus get over there?" Naminé asked. Xaldin, Demyx, Siruxa, with Jinx on her shoulder, Marluxia, and Zexion, carrying Axel, appeared in the room. Vexen shook his head. "Time for the monkey boy to visit the doctor."

Vexen took Axel and teleported to his lab. Xaldin made a death glare to Siruxa. "Take a picture, ugly. It'll last longer." Siruxa said noticing the glare.

"…Did you steal from Xemnas?"

"Ummm…I plead the 5th?" She had an innocent grin and tried to use the puppy dog eyes.

"And why were the police there?"

"Tell us great Wizard of Oz" Xigbar said. Zexion knocked him out with Saix's Claymore.

"………Do you guys read the paper or watch the news?"

"Who the hell in this castle does?" Marluxia asked. Lexaeus got his tomahawk and hit him on the head with it.

Siruxa asked Lexaeus for the newspaper and she looked in it and found an article. The title said "Femme Thief Shadow Fox Has Struck Again In Twilight Town Wanted Dead or Alive." She showed it to everyone who looked confused.

"Okay, there's a thief. So what?" Marluxia asked.

"I'm Shadow Fox. I kept on moving from place to place, but I have been staying here for some time. I use my abilities for my robberies in all the worlds and I even stole from Xemnas. But that's it! I only steal when I'm angry or up to a challenge. But…I kind of was planning to steal all valuables from all of you. I got soft okay?"

Everyone looked shocked, except Zexion, Xaldin, and Lexaeus. "WHAT?"

"But I want to know which one of you dumbasses snitched on me. There's no way the cops would come to a world like this. How do they even know this place exists?"

"Xemnas…" Xemnas looked at Lexaeus. "He called the cops on you because you stole his bunny."

"You mean that retarded looking bunny with gold coins in it?"

"MR. DOILY FLOPAGUSTUS PANSY III! YOU EVIL WITCH!" Apparently Xemnas got his voice back.

"Do you feel better Xemnas?" Xaldin asked.

"A little…BUT I WANT HER HEAD!"

"Heads…………" Saix's eyes brightened and he looked happy. Everyone sidestepped away from him. "What?"

"I can't believe you were going to send me to jail because of a stupid bunny! You are the most retarded mama's boy I've ever met!"

"I'm not a mama's boy!" Suddenly, Xemnas's cell phone rang, with the Dora the Explorer song as the ringtone. "Yes?-Hi mommy!-This girl is being mean!-It doesn't mean she likes me!-Okay mama-Yes I drink my milk everyday-No I didn't try to give Mr.Wilson Chocolax in place of his medication again-Bye mommy."

There was silence and Siruxa had an "I told you so" look. "As I was saying, I'm not a mama's boy!"

"Alright let's get down to business. I need a place to stay because, as you just saw, my house is destroyed. So, I know you guys have enough room for one more."

"Didn't I say no to your proposal?"

"Correction, you said no for me joining. You never said no for living here."

"Hold on! Let's have a vote. How many want this brat to take a hike?" Xemnas, Saix, and Xaldin's hands went up. "And I'm guessing Vexen and Luxord would raise their hand if they were here. Now, who opposes?"

Naminé, Roxas, Larxene, Marluxia, Demyx, Zexion, Xigbar, and Lexaeus raised their hands. "And I'm guessing that Axel wouldn't mind me at all." Siruxa said grinning. "Then it's decided! Now…where will my room be…?"

She noticed Marluxia grinning and pointing his thumb to him. "I want a room kind of far from everyone else, especially the metro over there." Demyx and roxas started laughing hard on the floor. Marluxia got his scythe and was ready to chop their heads off like picking berries from a bush.

"That can be arranged." Zexion said. Marluxia and Demyx shot anger marks at Zexion. "No, I'll go with you." Demyx spoke out.

"Whatever you say, idiot."

"I'M NOT AN IDIOT!"

Zexion threw a nickel on the floor. "Shiny..."

* * *

A/n:……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………  
Demyx: I think her head will explode at this rate.

Axel: Let her.

(All4Riku makes a window blow up.)

All4Riku: What were you saying Axel?

Riku: You should run.

Axel: O.O Yep. (Tries to run but runs into a hidden cage) Crap.


	5. Chapter 5

A/n: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Riku: Hey wake up!

Axel: Let's poke her with a stick.

(Demyx pokes the author with the stick with no luck.)

Axel: I'm never getting out of this cage, am I?

Demyx: Hey, there's a post it thingy. "I don't own Kingdom Hearts. Just Siruxa."

Axel: Did she plan all of this?

Riku: Why are you asking me? Let's just start this story. I'm getting bored.

* * *

Chapter 5 

Siruxa woke up the next day in her new room. Thanks to the handy pouch, all of her stuff is in her room; a low set queen sized bed with star designs, posters, bookshelves even her couch and plasma TV, which she stole. She was wearing a white tank top and light blue pajama pants and her hair was in a bun. "Gotta get coffee."

She teleported to a kitchen to get coffee. When it was done, she was drinking her coffee and reading a newspaper. Suddenly, a hand covered her mouth and someone took her away.

"What the hell!?" Siruxa found out that Demyx took her away to a door that said VI and a poster in black saying "Enter and Die" in red.

"I need your help." Demyx said putting up his hood.

"For what!? And I thought you guys are already weird, you take it to the next level!"

"It involves stealing…" Demyx said smiling and making those eyes of his twinkle. Siruxa had a grin and agreed with this plot.

Demyx took Vexen's library card and swiped it through to open the door to Zexion's room. It was…plain. There were books everywhere, a small bed, and a small TV. Demyx found the rack for movies and the two Nobodies looked through.

"Hey, I didn't know that Zexy had a thing for chick flicks." Demyx said holding a DVD of The Break Up. Siruxa just kept looking through until she found a blank tape. "This is the tape you're lookin' for?"

"Let's take a peek…" Demyx put the tape in the VCR and there was a few seconds of white noise. Then the screen was white with Xaldin in the middle. And he is about to utter those terrifying words.

"You will eat Xemnas's famous pie."

Demyx looked completely pale, but Siruxa didn't get it. "What's so bad about-?" Then Xaldin held a piece of The Pie. The crust was gray and flaky. The top part of the pie was squishy, black, and a bit hairy. The inside had rotten, hard chunks of apple, with green ooze that looked chunky, and Demyx and Siruxa saw a rat's tail in it.

Zexion was about to go in his room when Demyx burst through the door and ran. "SCREW THE TAPE! I WANT TO LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!" Zexion grinned, and then raised an eyebrow when he saw Siruxa staring at the TV screen. "Aren't you going to leave?"

"…Your boss has no right to cook. And…this doesn't really scare me." Then on the screen there was a scene when the scariest thing anyone could imagine happened: Xemnas, Saix, and Vexen at Karaoke Night. They were singing Respect, badly. Xemnas sang the "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" part and Vexen and Saix were background singing. Unfortunately for the Organization, they fainted and Xigbar looked like he was foaming at the mouth. Then Siruxa teleported out of there.

"I really should burn this thing…" Zexion said taking the tape out of the VCR. Suddenly he heard a beep sound and noticed it was his watch. He looked at it and the time was 10:00 a.m. "Time to fix up Xemnas's applesauce." Before he left, he took a small plastic tin of Xemnas's candy PEGS (or whatever they are), but they were unfortunately female hormone inducing pills that Roxas put in for a super prank.

* * *

Demyx was in the kitchen with Lexaeus, who was wearing an apron that said "Kiss the Cook" and a chef's hat and cooking breakfast for everyone. "Ahhhh, if only I have the world's sweetest jelly…then my toast and peanut butter sandwiches will be perfect." 

Lexaeus said mixing the pancake batter.

"Why don't we just give them some damn cereal?"

"Larxene doesn't like cereal."

"So what? Everyone else likes cereal. Just because she doesn't like it doesn't mean that we can't enjoy our Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops, Cheerios-"

Larxene had a bloodied butcher knife and had creepy eyes. "I-HATE-CEREAL!" Demyx sped away and was cornered at the wall. "Okay okay! No cereal! We're making pancakes and French toast and bacon and eggs!"

Larxene smiled a too innocent smile and walked out the kitchen. "Demyx that is the risk of being a chef. Pass me the butter." Demyx raised an eyebrow. "How long do I have to be your stupid kitchen assistant?" He got the butter and passed it to him.

"Until You are no longer needed."

"That would be…?"

Lexaeus was silent. Demyx waited for an answer, but gave up. Suddenly, he was completely frozen. Not frozen as in ice, but completely still.

"Lexaeus?" Demyx started to poke him on the face and no response. 5 minutes later he still kept poking him; even a fly went on his eye and didn't budge.

"I GOT IT!"

The loud booming noise startled Demyx so much that he fell to the floor. "I can put blueberries in the pancake batter to make blueberry pancakes! Lexaeus you are a genius!" Lexaeus kissed his fingertips like a chef and paraded around the room with the "Three cheers for the Red, White, and Blue" song. Demyx took the opportunity to escape.

* * *

Zexion went to the meeting room where Xemnas was watching cartoons with Xaldin. "Sir, your applesauce is ready." 

"Gimme!" Xemnas snatched the applesauce and gobbled it down in ten seconds…literally. Suddenly, he "shut down" and then was standing up. "Zexy! Why didn't you tell me my hair was in a mess!? Oh no! What time is it? I hope I'm not missing Sex and the City!"

Zexion quickly looked at one of the candy. He raised his only visible eyebrow. "Roxas…" He teleported to Roxas's room, which was a typical teenage boy's room. There was a note on a computer and it was in bad handwriting.

_Gone fishing. –Roxas _

Zexion crumpled the note in his hands. "Idiot." Luxord went past the room and saw Zexion. "What the bloody hell are you doing in Roxas's room? If you don't get to breakfast now, you'll have to eat Xemnas's waffles and sausages. And…the ingredient is…well, just come down."

Luxord put some of those bad pills in his hands and put them in his mouth. Suddenly, his persona became different. "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude………… The man has to stop bringing us down, right brother?" He started to slouch and slowly walk. Zexion took out a notebook and started to write. "Dear Journal, once again that gambling addict Luxord took his pills. Apparently, he'll be a hippie this time. Oh joy."

* * *

Axel was strolling in the hall and found Marluxia trying to use all types of hair spray. "Are you trying to give everyone lung cancer from spraying all that crap? Your hair is fine if you just dye it a different color." 

"No! Pink is sooo my color! (WTF!? O.o) And besides, my hair must be perfect for her."

"The new girl! Dude, I thought you were gay!"

"Don't you know the term 'bisexual' smart one?"

"Wait…you…and both…okay…Which is better?" (bad Axel!)

"Shut up. And I thought you were gay with you hanging around Roxas, but seeing you like Larxene-"

"Yes and no. She's just too fun to tease. And what I like is none of your business. Got it memorized?" Marluxia shrugged and kept on putting on more hair spray. Axel walked away, but made a little spark go to the spray and Marluxia's hair was on fire.

"HOLY SHIT! WATER! DAMN IT SOMEONE GET ME WATER!" A big heap of water got dumped on his head and Marluxia spat out water from his mouth. "Thanks a lot."

"Anything you say Marley!" Demyx grinned and gave a thumbs up. Marluxia twitched at the name.

"Call me Marley again and I'll shove thorn rose stems up your ass." Siruxa came around with Naminé and went next to Demyx. "G'morning yall…why are you soaked?"

"Possibly gay pyromaniac almost crisped my hair and this bimbo water boy used as much water as Larxene drinks in a day."

"Awwwww, c'mon Marluxia, be nice to Demyx, he's sad. Besides, his face is too cute to make a frown, right?" Siruxa said shrugging and smiling. Marluxia, Naminé, and Demyx were totally silent. There was a chirping cricket sound from a radio Lexaeus (how did he get there?) was holding.

"I'm starving. Hopefully, your boss is not cooking."

* * *

Everyone was at the table. Xigbar was drinking a beer and eating bacon and eggs. Xaldin had toasted bread with eggs in between. Vexen was eating French toast and bacon, with Axel next to him with those red hats monkeys with organ grinders wear. Unfortunately, Axel was only eating tiny portions of pancakes and bacon. Lexaeus was eating a stack of pancakes and Zexion had jelly over toast with a pancake staring at people from time to time. Saix, sitting in the creepy chair again, was eating a huge amount of bacon, and got an electric shock when he threatened to shove all of Xaldin's lances down Demyx's throat. Demyx was eating life threating bites of pancakes. Luxord was marching around the room with a poster that was saying "Eating meat is murder". Marluxia and Larxene were eating pancakes and French toast. Roxas's chair was taken with Siruxa, who was eating every thing in small portions and secretly giving some food to her cat. But Xemnas was acting weird…his uniform coat was: dun dun dun…pink. Everyone stared as he sat down with his food. 

"What? Can't a girl eat something? God I, like swear that you guys are getting weirder everyday."

Demyx threw a handful of some eggs at Xemnas, and then everyone started to throw food. Siruxa, luckily for her, was able to sneak under the table and found Lexaeus playing a Game boy SP. Suddenly, everything went quiet. The two peaked from under the table and found a huge whopper amount of pancakes and syrup on Larxene and Saix. They looked like they were ready to blow. Everyone tried to bolt out the room, but Luxord and Xigbar couldn't escape.

The door closed and there were screams, breaking glass, and Saix's battle cry. Larxene and Saix came out calmer, but Luxord was stuck under the overturned table and Xigbar was halfway out a window.

"Well, that was a lot of fun. Now I'm gonna take a nice bubble bath. Tootles!" Xemnas skipped, yes, skipped, to the bathroom.

"No fair! Now no one can use the bathroom!" Marluxia said taking out a chunk of pancakes out of his hair. Siruxa cringed at the piece of food in his hair. "Why?"

"Xemnas is so cheap that the other bathrooms in this stupid castle can't work while one of them is still working. This syrup better not stiffen up my hair." Axel said.

"Come on fire boy. Your hair is already messy and stiff." Zexion said rolling his eyes, or eye. "Anyway, where is Roxas?"

"Dunno. He said something about fixing a toilet."

Roxas was sneaking and sang that Mission Impossible theme song. He went to a bathroom and went to a nearby toilet. He took something from his pocket…and it looked like a little battery. He pressed the button on the top and sixty seconds appeared. He quickly dropped it in the toilet and laughed.

"Roxas? What are you doing?" Naminé asked with Siruxa next to her. "Um…fixing the toilet."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, kid, you won't make the toilet spit out water like a fountain like that. You've gotta flush it." Siruxa said. Naminé looked at her with a worried look, but Siruxa winked. Roxas flushed the toilet and grinned. "Thanks."

"And Roxas never trust a fugitive."

"Why?" The ground began to shake and Naminé was looking around. Siruxa grabbed her hand and ran off. Roxas was looking everywhere and saw a huge amount of water coming out the toilet like a fire hydrant. Then the other toilets and the bath faucet exploded.

"Rub a dub tub. Gotta shampoo my hair all the way." Xemnas said washing his hair. There was a mountain full of bubbles and foam in the bathtub and there was a rubber duck next to him. "Oh, Mr. Quakertots, will Saix ever know? I bet he's with that Naminé, grrrrr." Then he felt a rumble and screamed. "Mr. Quakertots save yourself!" Xemnas threw the duck out the tub. Then all the water in the bathtub shot up, including the bathtub itself, and Xemnas was screaming like an old lady.

Xaldin was getting annoyed with Xigbar talking about every single detail of guns, types of them, ammo, tricks, anything. To make it worse, his surfer dude accent made it so long. "And the best thing to use for hunting bears, a double barrel shotgun."

"Can you please shut up before I get a shotgun for you?"

"MURDERER!" Luxord said…in a hippie outfit. "Thou shall not kill our animals of our beloved Mother Earth! What's next? Killing all the whales for one bottle of powder?"

Xemnas and the tub shot through the floor and through the ceiling. Xaldin was a bit wide eyed, Xigbar was so shocked he got a cigarette, and Luxord was looking through the hole. "See? You made the whales angry!"

Xaldin took one of his lances and hit Luxord on the head. He shook his head and looked at his clothes. "Why the hell am I being a hippie?" He walked off to his room to get rid of the costume. "Xigbar, go with Luxord and take his pills. I don't want another episode like this."

"No, you do it. I'm your superior."

"I have power over you. Do you want me to say it?" Xaldin summoned a gust of wind and his eyes looked darker than usual. There was dramatic music played by Lexaeus on the radio for effects.

"Okay okay! Don't hurt me! I've got a dream!" The wind stopped and Lexaeus turned off the radio. Xigbar went away and Xaldin looked at the hole. "Lexaeus, go get-" But Lexaeus already got Roxas by the hood and Xaldin had a very creepy grin.

"Roxas, you are becoming a thorn on my side, a bright pony in my gloomy happy place, a Larxene in her ice cream cravings. So…" Xaldin took out the pie. Roxas was wriggling very hard but Lexaeus was too strong.

"Say 'ah'."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

* * *

A/n: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Demyx: How long will she be asleep?

(Riku shrugs) Don't know. Hey, it's a key.

Axel: Use it to get me outta here! I've gotta go really badly!

Demyx: Ohhhh, shiny! (Takes the key and drops it through a wide and deep crack.)

Axel: Get the f... outta here.

Riku: Send reviews before Axel goes into full curse mode, for our sakes.


	6. Chapter 6

A/n: Good morning. Goodie! Got a review!

Riku: We've got a problem. Doofus lost the key for Axel's cage.

All4Riku: No, I have it (takes key out of pocket).

Axel: WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT KEY?"

All4Riku: Elementary my dear Axel. You see, I knew you would get mad for running into a cage. And I knew I would succumb to slumber for no apparent reason with you trapped in it. The fact that Demyx likes shiny objects and possessing them is predictable. Demyx, not so good keeping important and fragile things safe was expected, thus leading to the loss of the key. You would start cursing your head off from your hot temper. And, I awoke from my slumber when I have the urge to have sugar. Understand?

Demyx: …Can you say that again?

(Only own Siruxa)

* * *

Chapter 6 

Roxas was in Vexen's lab with an I.V machine next to him. He was pale green and his tongue was sticking out, even his eyes were wide open. Axel, still in that organ grinder's monkey hat, was checking on his friend and setting up a cup of water and some medicine. "That pie was too far."

"Axel! Make me my tuna and sardine sandwich! I can't work like this!" Vexen yelled taking a cute little bunny and making a fire for an experiment.

"Hold your asses gramps! Can't believe I'm a fucking monkey boy." Axel went out of the room, but stared at Roxas for a few seconds. "Don't worry buddy, I'll make Xaldin pay. Even if it takes me hours, or days, or weeks, or months, or years, or decades, but that's probably the farthest I can go because after decades your on your own."

Xaldin and Saix were shielding their eyes because in front of them was Xemnas, in the bathtub…in his birthday suit. "Sir please don't get out of the tub. I've been scarred enough." Xaldin said, ready to puke.

"But I'm wrinkled and I don't like being in a tub butt naked and cold!" Xemnas whined.

"Sir, if you don't get out the tub, you'll get candy for a month."

Xemnas smiled. "Yay!"

Saix sighed. "I was expecting something better out of my day." Xaldin stared at him. "What in Darkness's name do you mean?"

"Xaldin, we need help with the holes in the castle and I don't want to do any-OH MY GOD! MY FEMININE EYES!" Larxene screamed and ran out faster than Demyx on a sugar rush on Saturday.

"I have a feeling that Larxene will be more PMSed than usual." Xaldin said shaking his head.

* * *

Siruxa was sitting on a couch cross-legged and still in her pajamas. She was watching a comedy show and her cat was on her shoulders. "Poor, feeble minded Roxas. I never knew the pie was that bad…Oh well. Not my problem." 

Naminé came in and was crying a bit. "Roxas, my poor Roxas."

"Don't worry Naminé, he'll get better. In the mean time, you should go out with someone else, like…" Siruxa changed the channel to the Kingdom Hearts 2 commercial, "that brunette guy."

"My other half is with him! And that guy is Roxas's other half." She started crying again.

"Okay, anyone in this picture I got from the internet?" There was a picture of Leon, Cloud, and Sephiroth.

"Two of them already have girlfriends! And that guy with the dark wing is scary!" Naminé started to cry again.

"And I thought Nobodies can't feel…I've got it!"

Naminé stopped crying and looked confused. "What is it?"

"Let's have a party! I mean, Halloween is coming up, right?"

"Right…"

"So let's have a costume party! Come on! It'll be fun!"

Naminé was quiet. "I've never been to a party. Every time the Organization is having a party, Xemnas and Saix change the lock and I can't get in. The last time I almost got eaten by a wolf in the woods during a Christmas party."

Siruxa stared. "Girl, you need a better job or a lot of money to move out of this pig sty. I mean, you're the only girl here, besides me and Larxene, that lives here."

"You're right…Yeah, I'm not gonna get picked on anymore!" Naminé stood up and put a fist to her chest and one in the air. Xigbar passed by and walked to the girls. "Hey, Blondie, I want nachos."

"O-okay…" Naminé scurried off and Siruxa sighed. "This is what happens when guys dominate a house." Siruxa started to use the shadows of small nearby objects to go in the air and spin around.

Demyx came in and stared at the TV. "You're pretty smart for a thief."

"That's super thief. And, I am pretty crafty." Demyx raised an eyebrow. "You set up Roxas, causing him to eat that deadly pie. You are-"

"Okay, don't get all evil on me. I'm-"

"MY HERO!" Demyx started to bear hug Siruxa and she started to choke. "That kid always gets me in trouble. Now he's got what was coming to him! You're the best!"

"You're…killin'…me…" Demyx loosened her grip and let go of her. "Maybe you shouldn't hug people so often. And you hate that kid so much?"

"He pranks everyone, except Naminé. Last time he took all my boxers and glued them to the hallways. Then there was that time when he made slime explode in my room."

"I thought you would be a prankster type."

"I am. But my job is more on the lines of comedian. I make things funny with a little mischief in it."

"Prankster and a comedian with mischief is the same thing, genius. Well…" Siruxa started to walk out with Jinx the cat jumped off and followed her. "I'm going shopping."

"You can't leave."

"Why not? Don't tell me I have to get permission from that mentally unstable boss of yours." Demyx nodded and Siruxa slapped her forehead. "Screw that, I'm not even part of this group. I'm going." She opened a portal and stepped through and disappeared.

Demyx shrugged. "What to do…" He started to channel surf when something caught his eye. He kept the channel that was just showing a documentary of squirrels. "Squuuuuuiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeessssssssss." Then the screen turned into a black and white hypnosis swirl. Demyx started to drool and put his face on the TV.

Zexion walked past and walked a few steps back to see Demyx literally glued to the TV. "Idiot. How many times did I tell him not to go to channel 666?"

* * *

Naminé was standing away from Xigbar who was eating his nachos and making messes of all sorts in the process. "This is freakin' good. Want some?" 

"N-no thank you. I lost my appetite. Xigbar…what is your view on Halloween?"

"The best thing…is stealing candy from scaring the hell out of little kids. Hahahahaha!"

"That's mean!"

"You don't like it? Tough. Now get out of here before I shoot you back to your other half, whoever the hell she is."

Naminé took out a golden whistle that looked like those whistles dogs can hear. She blew on the whistle and Larxene barged through the wall of Xigbar's room. "Alright make this quick. I have to put an annoying telemarketer for Boob Job advertisement. The boiling water in the nailed tub won't stay at scalding point forever."

"Larxene, Xigbar's being mean to me again."

"Naminé…everyone is mean to you."

"Hey Larxy, maybe you should get a boob job. You look like an anorexic chimp."

Larxene's eye twitched and there was lightening in the background. "Naminé, will you please leave the area." She tried to smile through clenched teeth. Naminé nodded and ran out. Larxene took out her throwing knives and slowly walked to Xigbar.

"You know I was joking…right? Larxene, everyone is beautiful."

"How beautiful?"

"Um…like Snow White?"

Ohhhh, wrong answer Xigbar. Apparently, Larxene hates Snow White because she thought she was so stupid to eat an apple from a stranger. And…she went to Disneyland and Snow White accidentally spilled coffee on her.

"I…HATE…SNOW WHITE!"

Meanwhile Marluxia was in his happy mood fixing the hallway with colorful flowers. As soon as he finished putting the last daisy in the last bouquet of the hall he smiled. "Yippee! All my pwitty flowers make me feel, so happy…and handsome. And it took me an hour to finally arrange them perfectly! Who's hot now Francis! You thought you could beat me back in high school? Well, I beat your record asshole! Hahahahaha! La dee da dee laaaa!"

Suddenly, Xigbar went smashing through the hallway, destroying the flowers in his way from the super velocity of the wind. The flowers were on the floor, most of them were broken.

"MY FLOWERS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"That'll be 5,000 gil miss. Have a super day!" A chipper girl in pigtails and purple hair said in a costume shop uniform.

"Riiiight." Siruxa left the shop and teleported to her room. "I'm ordering costumes at home from now on. Let's see…Yeah, this one is so cool. Now…to convince the traumatized boss."

* * *

A/n: Halloween is coming! Yay! Candy! Get sugar high! 

Demyx: Do we have to wear costumes?

All4Riku: Yep!

Riku: You just had to ask.

Axel: There's no way in hell I'll wear a stupid costume.

All4Riku: YOU WILL DRESS FOR HALLOWEEN!

(Axel runs back in cage with the key and hides)

All4Riku: Please press that button that says "Go". Now…LET'S GET SUGAR!


	7. Chapter 7

A/n: Happy Halloween y'all! (Witch's costume)

Demyx: (Ghost) Do I have to wear this in this story?

All4Riku: Of course not! You're just a person with a sheet over his head. I've got bigger plans (grins evilly)

Riku: (Sephiroth) I think I can pull this off.

Axel: (Bat) Heck yes! Sephiroth can be your dad!

Riku: Hell no.

Demyx: Now that you mention it, who is his parents? And there is a striking resemblance…

All4Riku: You're right. Let's reunite Riku with his dad!

Riku: Will you guys quite it!?

(Lights go out) Everyone: O.O Uh-oh.

BOO!

(Disclaimer: Me no own Kingdom Hearts. Me no own it.)

* * *

Chapter 7

Ah, the gentle morning breeze sweeps over the castle of the Organization a couple of days later on Halloween day. The birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. This is what it could have been if Siruxa didn't mention Halloween to Xemnas. But…It's the complete opposite. This is what happened.

"GET UP YOU STUPID ANTS! IT'S HALLOWEEN AND I WANT MY FREAKIN' CANDY! SO GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF BED AND LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Xemnas's cannon voice blasted through the castle and everyone was in a very bad mood. If only Siruxa didn't mention candy.

Flashback

"Hey, weirdo." Siruxa told Xemnas, who is thankfully not hormonally wacky. "Let's have a Halloween party."

"Let me take a second to-No we won't have a party!"

"There will be candy…" Xemnas's mouth watered, it watered so much that there was a trickle of mouth watering. "Party…"

"Yeah, with costumes, candy, but I want two things."

"NamethemIwantthefreakin'candy! (Name them I want the freakin' candy!)" Xemnas said jumping up and down.

"Okay okay, jeez. Naminé is invited. And lastly, let's have it at another world."

Xemnas scratched his chin. "What do you have in mind?"

End Flashback

Xaldin (ghost butler), Vexen (crazy scientist), Luxord (1940's black jack dealer) were in the Alter of Naught with the airplane-like gummi ship. Demyx (cyber space warrior) was in the gummi ship playing Clue with Zexion (vampire), Saix (dark knight), Lexaeus (court jester), Xigbar (pirate…what a surprise), and Marluxia (grim reaper). Saix got mad when he lost, so he tore the board apart and ate all the pieces.

"Bad Saix bad!" Vexen said when he saw what happened. But Saix bit his finger. "WHIPPERSNAPPERS! YOU BIT MY FINGER! AXEL GET ME MY BAND AID!"

Axel (werewolf) came with band aids with frogs on them. Vexen threw the box at him. "THESE ARE WEDNESDAY BAND AIDS!"

"WHAT'S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE GEEZER?"

"Axel sit." Larxene (bloodied bride in black) was with Naminé (winter angel) and Siruxa (blue water fairy) grinning at Axel.

"I'm not a puppy."

"Well, you are a werewolf." Larxene said. Axel cursed his choice for this years' costume while the girls went in the gummi ship. Roxas (Sora's costume in Halloween Town) ran and look scared. "You guys! Get in the ship and let's go!"

"Why? We can't leave Superior-"

"Yippee! Halloween!" Xemnas is in a cheerleader outfit. Oh the inhumanity! The traumatization of the eyes!

"What the fuck are you wearing?" Everyone said covering their eyes. "It doesn't matter! Let's go to Halloween Town!" Xemnas pushed everyone else in the gummi ship and got to the driver seat. But as soon as they were in space, the ship was out of control.

"ARE YOU TRYIN' TO KILL US? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Marluxia yelled at him when he almost crashed into a meteor.

"I don't know how to drive in space. I never got my license." Dead silence filled the room and Lexaeus hummed the gloomy death tune (Dum dum dadum dum dadum dadum dadum). Then, everyone screamed and hugged each other until they made it to Halloween Town.

"That was so much fun! Let's do it again!" Xemnas said.

"HELL NO!" Everyone yelled while trying to catch their breath from the crazy ride. Xaldin took the keys from Xemnas. "I'll drive on the way back."

"Welcome to Halloween Town!" The mayor said to all the Nobodies. Larxene's eyebrow twitched, but luckily Saix was making sure she doesn't attack anyone. "You're just in time! Now what type of entertainment do you want?"

"We already have it." Zexion said showing him a huge stereo system, which was stored in Siruxa's tiny bag with unlimited space.

"Wait! We have a theme song!" Xemnas looked so happy wit glee. "I love theme songs!"

"LET'S JUST GO ALREADY BEFORE I BREAK YOUR NECKS AND STICK YOUR HEADS ON A FENCE POST!"

Larxene kept yelling and Axel was dragging her away on his back and she started to punch his back and shoulders. "LET ME GO ASSHOLE! I'M NOT THROUGH WITH THIS IDIOT!"

"Wow, I recommend for that miss to live here. She would fit in great." The mayor said looking down the road.

Everyone stopped at the huge city hall for the party. They got inside…AND THE MUSIC PLAYED LOUD!

* * *

Xemnas was eating candy and swimming in the punch bowl. Luckily, there was another one. Xaldin and Vexen were just sitting and keeping Saix under control with a leash that can have electric bolts surge through with the click of a button. Lexaeus dismissed Demyx for kitchen assistant and making Halloween food, without the actual gross stuff.

Axel was sitting next to Roxas, but was observing the girls in their Halloween costumes, followed by smacks by Larxene. Demyx was the DJ for music and Luxord was holding card games with the help of his Gambler Nobodies. Marluxia was with Zexion playing card games at Luxord's booth and staring at Xigbar getting as drunk as a one-eyed pirate can get. The girls were listening to music and eating food, with Axel and Roxas as forced-by-Larxene-waiters.

Suddenly, all the electricity turned off and it was dark. "What's with the lights?" Demyx asked stumbling over cables for the stereo. The lights came back on…but Saix, Luxord, and Vexen were missing.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE MURDERED VEXEN, SAIX, AND LUXORD AND WE'RE NEXT!" Demyx yelled and ran around crazy. Zexion grabbed Demyx by his collar and glared at him.

"Shut", one slap, "up", another, "and", another, "calm", one more, "the", again, "hell", (when will it end?), "down", one more (I'm serious), "Idiot."

Xaldin shook his head. "Let's just split into groups of two. Me, Xemnas, Naminé, Roxas, Marluxia, and Xigbar will go this way. Lexaeus, you will lead Zexion, Axel, Demyx, Larxene, and Siruxa will go that way." The lights turned off again, but everyone had flashlights this time.

* * *

They split up and had flashlights. Naminé was scared out of her mind. "Roxas, I'm scared." Marluxia rolled his eyes. "Stop complaining. We're all scared, right Xigbar?"

No reply. "Xigbar? Okay…I think we lost him. Xemnas, is everyone else with you? Xemnas?" Marluxia flashed his light around.

"He's gone. Aw shit we're screwed!" Marluxia said. "Roxas, grab Naminé's hand and mine. We gotta stick together." But Roxas and Naminé were gone. All there was was a very thin figure in black.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The second group stopped. "What the hell was that?" Siruxa asked. Demyx was shaking and Lexaeus was doing absolutely nothing. Axel tried to feel Larxene's arm, but she slapped him. "We are in a world full of crazy monsters and there can be a psycho killer on the loose!"

"Ugh, Lexaeus, maintain control over your group." But when Zexion shined the light on where he should be, he was gone.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Demyx screamed hugging Siruxa. Larxene felt another touch on her arm. She was about to punch the person who she thought was Axel, but her hand was caught. Everyone shined the light on the face of the mystery person. And…IT WAS A SKELETON!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zexion, Demyx, and Siruxa ran for their lives and left Larxene screaming in the clutches of the monster.

"YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME? FINE, TO HELL WITH YOU ALL!"

They split into different directions and Zexion found a restroom to hide in. "This is why I hate parties."

He breathed heavily and heard someone come in. Then the bathroom stall opened and he was grabbed.

* * *

Demyx was in a hallway slowly walking. When he heard something, he turned around. Someone jumped on his chest and shined a bright light on his face.

"Whoops, well…this is awkward. Sorry Dem." Siruxa said sitting on him.

"Can you get off? Now I can't breathe." Siruxa laughed as she got off. "Well, it was payback for that bear hug."

Then they heard something crash. They turned around and were scared. "How about we just get the hell outta here and take the ship to go."

"Can't you use your shadow power?"

"Everything is dark. I can't see the shadows anywhere."

Demyx's stomach growled. "I'm hungry." He was handed an apple and bit into it. "Hanx (Thanks)." Siruxa turned around.

"For what?"

He gulped down the last part of the apple and slowly turned around. Demyx moved the flashlight slowly and found the monster!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Demyx grabbed her hand and they ran for their lives. They kept running until they were in a kitchen. Suddenly the fluorescent lights flickered on and the two found everyone in their own cages. Xemnas was strapped to a kitchen table where a butcher knife was on a table.

"Demyx! Get us out of here! I need to go to the bathroom!" Roxas said shaking the bars.

"Where are the keys?" Siruxa asked.

"Right-" Naminé was about to say, but the lights turned off. "Never mind, you can't see them."

For no reason, bright green glow in the dark lights appeared and the monster's body, but not the face can be seen.

"MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!"

Demyx and Siruxa ran again and the monster chased them. "Come on I need to go to the-never mind."

"Eeeeewwwwww! Roxas you're-" Marluxia yelled.

"Just kidding with ya!"

"When we get out of here, I'm gonna cut your fuckin' head off!"

Siruxa kept looking for a place to hide and she found a broom closet. "Let's get in here!" They got in and Demyx closed the door.

"How long will we stay in here?" Demyx whispered.

"Until we get caught or when it's morning."

"Is it ever morning in this world?"

"Great, now you're a mischievous pessimistic comedian."

Demyx was scared…and nervous. Not only was he in a closet, he was in a closet with a _girl. _And everyone knows that if a boy and a girl are in a closet alone…something's going down. _Well, since I'm gonna die, might as well… _

"Demyx…I need to say something."

He was curious and anxious. "Um…yeah?"

"If I was stuck in a closet…at least it's you. You're probably the only person that wouldn't drive me over the edge."

Some of his hopes died that moment. Then there was a hard knock on the door. Siruxa quickly hugged Demyx and was mumbling something. _It's now or never…_

Demyx grabbed Siruxa and planted his lips on hers and she completely froze. Time and her mind stopped and she was completely out of her zone. She slowly grabbed his shoulders and they didn't notice the door slowly opening. Then there was a loud gasp.

"**WHAT IN FUCKING KINGDOM HEARTS IS THIS?" **

Demyx and Siruxa broke apart and saw the Organization staring, all the guys' jaws, except for Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, and Zexion, dropped. Jack Skellington, who was the "monster" who was just trying to get a good scare, was there too.

"Awwwww, I didn't get to scare them again…BOO!"

They were startled and Demyx's and Siruxa's faces were pink. "Can we just go now?" Zexion said shrugging. Jack Skellington watched them leave and started to sing a Halloween Song, followed by a pumpkin being thrown at him from Saix.

* * *

Everyone was silent on the gummi ship ride until they got back to the castle. When they were back, Xemnas's, Xigbar's, Saix's, Axel's, Luxord's, Marluxia's, and Roxas' jaws were still on the floor.

"HOW THE HECK WAS DEMYX ABLE TO GET A GIRL?"

"Wait a minute! I've still got Naminé!" Roxas left and the rest of the guys dissed and left in the cold to dry and shrivel.

* * *

A/n: Jack Skellington shouldn't keep doing this. My hair will get white!

Riku: What's wrong with white hair?

Demyx: Isn't it silver?

Axel: Demyx, is your hair a mullet or a Mohawk?

Demyx: Is that spiky hair natural or do you not bathe?

All4Riku: Enough with the questions! If you review, you get Halloween candy! (Has candy in a basket). Happy Halloween!


	8. Chapter 8

A/n: GIVEMECANDYILOVECANDYGIMMEGIMMEGIMME!

Riku: You already had candy!

Demyx: (eating Hershey's bar) What's up?

All4Riku: CHOCOLATE! CANDYCANDYCANDYCANDYCANDY!

Demyx: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Axel: The person chasing water boy doesn't own any thing except that chocolate thing. Ouch…that's gonna leave a mark.

* * *

Chapter 8

Marluxia had a stethoscope against Siruxa's door and was crouching down stealth-like. Suddenly someone tapped his shoulder. Marluxia turned his head and saw Naminé eating an apple. "What do you want Naminé?"

"Why are you spying on Siruxa? Is this about Demyx?"

"Mind your own business. Let a grown man do his work."

"And what would that be?" Siruxa asked behind Naminé, who just used Naminé's shadow as a door to the hall. Marluxia grinned and ran off. "Boys…"

"Siruxa…why did you-"

"Itscomplicatedbye!" And she teleported out of there to where the gummi ships are. "Now which one should I use…Oh, this one looks good." She walks to a gummi ship that looks like a UFO and climbs in. "Good thing I know how to hotwire."

The ship moves and she was off, but Siruxa accidentally bumped into a wall and now there was a dent on the ship. And guess who owns it?

"Hey, boss, your ship's gone." Axel said giving Vexen a cup of tea. As soon as he heard this, Vexen spat it right out…on Axel's Organization cloak. "WHAT?"

"That's it. I've been a good, suburban, little boy and I quite. I'm not even getting paid." Axel left and took that little red hat and threw it at Vexen. Vexen did nothing, as he was thinking of who took his gummi ship. Then it hit him, literally. A blitzball hit Vexen's head from Demyx's bad aim. He just ran without it.

"THAT GIRL TOOK IT! SHE'S GONNA GET A LECTURE OUT OF ME! IT'LL BE THE PIE!" Thunder crashed when the word "pie" was mentioned. "And I've gotta get that spark ant to stop messing with the electricity. That girl's electric table raises the bill way too high."

Zexion was watching a game of chess on TV. "Idiot, he should have moved the queen to the right. I saw a check mate a mile away…And where do you think you're going?" Demyx, who was creeping behind the couch sighed and sat on the floor as far as Zexion's eyes can see.

"Is that eye that's blocked by your hair an eye that can see behind you or something?"

"No, you're just not good at sneaking up on people. Tell me…why did you try to sneak behind me?"

"Because…um…I…want to be super spy!"

Total silence, with crickets chirping, and Jinx the cat meowing. "Liar. It's because of Hallow-"

"THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN! I SWEAR ON MAMA'S PEACH COBBLER FROM GEORGIA IN THE SUMMER TIME!"

"YOU ARE A FREAKIN' IDIOT! HOW THE HELL DID A MAMA'S MONKEY BOY END UP BEING THE BOSS OF ANYTHING?"

Siruxa and Xemnas were yelling at each other and the members of the Organization were witnessing the scream fest. Demyx and Zexion found them at the Hall of Empty Melodies and covered their ears.

"Yo, Axel, what's going on?" Demyx asked the pyro.

"Siruxa's trying to join again. I just hope there'll be a fight or somethin'. Got it memorized?"

"WHY WOULD I LET YOU JOIN?"

"I have a lawyer, a judge, and a jury!" A group of baby penguins scurried and went to a jury seating Lexaeus just made. Then the Queen of Hearts came in and sat in a judge's seat. "Order in the court! Where's the bailiff?" A spades playing card soldier in a bailiff uniform walked through and was right by the queen.

"Hey…where's my lawyer?" Siruxa asked looking around.

"'S alright lass. I just needed a drink." Jack Sparrow walked through with a lot of treasure on him. "Let's make this quick, I have a meeting with rum and my ship."

Xemnas's mouth dropped. "NOW WAIT JUST A MINUTE! YOU'VE GOT THE DRUNKEN JACK SPARROW-"

"_Captain _Jack Sparrow." Everyone corrected Xemnas, including the penguins.

"WHATEVER! THE QUEEN OF HEARTS IS A FAKE JUDGE WITH ANGER ISSUES AND YOU'VE GOT BABY PENGUINS AS A FREAKIN' JURY?"

"First of all, the Queen of Hearts was finally able to go to law school and a shrink. And these baby penguins are smart enough to be a jury and talk. Right guys?"

"Yes ma'am!" The penguins said. Zexion had to hold Demyx back so he won't hug the penguins to death.

"I don't even have a lawyer!"

"Don't worry boss, I'll take the position of your attorney." Luxord said.

"You went to law school?" Luxord nodded his head. "Yeah, I went there 5 times and didn't get my degree yet." Doom settled in Xemnas's face.

"Order in the court! Now, this case is people vs. Xemnas. May the plaintiff's attorney explain this case?"

"Thank you your honor. Now…this young lass was neighbors with this gentleman for some time and she wanted to be part of the club or whatever it is. Apparently the boss didn't allow it, but did allow her to live here. Now…I think this is about the matter she is a lass that he won't let her join. So…I call…Lexaeus to the stand."

Lexaeus went on a chair and started to eat a fudge pop. "Now…Lexaeus, how many men are in this crew?"

"Objection! What does this have to do with anything?" Luxord asked.

"Overruled! Off with your-" The queen stopped and took out a glass of water and medication and had some. "Sorry. You may continue Captain Sparrow."

"Well, there are 12 including me. There are only 3, with only one of them as a member."

"Why is there a lack of women?"

"I had three reasons: He doesn't like them, he's scared of them…or he's gay."

"OBJECTION!" Luxord and Xemnas yelled.

"Sit down Luxord and Xemnas! Overruled. Continue."

"Now, my client told me that your boss has bad health hazards. What are they?"

"Sometimes he cooks. And his food is dangerous."

"There is also talk that one of you had to eat some of it. What happened?"

"Well…number 13 pulled another prank and Xaldin, being the more matured and small number, carried out the punishment: the Pie."

Thunder crashed again and the penguins were chattering in fear of the thunder. "Silence in my damn court!" The queen had more water. "Continue."

"What is in this pie?" Jack Sparrow said going back to his seat and kicking back.

"The pie crust is made of dry yet soft sewage mud and Brussels sprouts. The inside has some rat tails, expired fish, horse radish, and toe nail clippings. If someone was bad enough, they get an extra."

"What would that be?"

"A scoop of springtime cow pie."

"Thank you."

"Alright, Luxord, do you have anything to say in defence?"

Luxord was calm but Xemnas was left speechless. "No. I don't."

"I see. Well, Xemnas, do you have anything to say?"

"Yes…THIS GIRL IS A KINIVING LIAR WHO WILL NEVER JOIN AS LONG AS I EXIST-"

"Nobodies don't exist." Marluxia said.

"SHUT UP MARLUXIA! SPEAK WHEN YOU'RE BEING SPOKEN TO." Marluxia gave him the finger. "THAT GIRL KICKED ME IN MY MAN GIFT, LET HER CAT BITE ME, AND SHE KILLED MR. DOILEY FLOPAGUSTUS PANSEY III!"

"It's just a stuffed rabbit!" Saix said getting annoyed. Apparently, he didn't get coffee today. The court had utter silence. "Obviously, the jury will have to come with a verdict. Court is in recess." The queen banged the gavel a little too hard and cracked the judge's desk in half.

"One request your honor?" One of the penguins said.

"Yes?"

"We want fish!"

There was silence again. Then the queen cleared her throat and sighed. "Very well, you'll have fish."

Jack Sparrow was looking through Axel's stash of liquor and was able to smuggle some rum. When he was about to leave, he bumped into Axel.

"Hello, Savvy. I have business to attend to, so I best be on my way."

"Give me my rum old man." Axel extended his hand.

"I'm sure we can make some manly negotiations where we will both have a profit in our agreements, so…IS THAT A SPICE GIRL IN A BIKINI?"

"Where? I hope it's Posh Spice-"

Jack Sparrow kneed him in the stomach and ran away, rum in hand. "GET BACK HERE! NO ONE GETS AWAY WITH TAKING AXEL'S DRINKS! GOT IT MEMORIZED?"

The chase continued until Jack accidentally bumped into Larxene, causing her to fall down on her face. He looked for another place to hide and made like a banana and slipped. Too bad for Axel that he was the first person seen by the Savage Nymph.

"AXEL! YOU BASTARD!"

She started to run after him and he teleported out of sight. "AGAIN WITH HIDING? FINE! THE HUNT IS ON NOW ASSHOLE!" She teleported out the hallway and Jack Sparrow crept away from the hall.

Roxas was skateboarding around the halls, riding the floor, ceiling, and walls. How was Roxas able to do that? Because…he's Roxas? Or…he stole Vexen's anti-gravity machine and is in high risks for the classic skateboard injury.

Naminé was watching Roxas skateboard, then saw something in front of him. "Roxas! Watch out for that-"

Too late for Roxas. He slammed into a tree. "…tree." Marluxia, who apparently grew the tree just in time, took the machine and grabbed Roxas like a rag doll.

"This kid doesn't know when to quite. It's worse than dealing with Demyx. Nam, why don't you try getting rid of this tree. I'll be busy."

"But I don't know how…"

Marluxia already left. Naminé sighed and looked at the tree. "Oh well." She grabbed the tree and plucked it out of its spot! She carried it to a window and threw it out. "That should do it."

When she turned around, she saw Xigbar staring at her and had a beer bottle in his had. He dropped it and Naminé looked at him. "What's wrong Xigbar?"

"I need a drink."

"EVERYONE GET BACK TO THE COURT NOW! THE VERDICT WILL BE GIVEN!" The queen's voice blasted through the castle like a super dynamic hyper active mega dosage ultra cannon. Naminé and Xigbar teleported back to the court and Siruxa, Luxord, and Jack were playing cards while waiting.

The cute little penguins waddled to the jury stand and sat eating fish.

"Has the jury reached the verdict?"

"Yes ma'am. We find the leader, and still creepy, Xemnas, will have to let Siruxa join and can never cook or anything like that again."

The entire Organization, except Axel and Larxene, who are still gone from the castle, cheered and started to throw confetti and use party accessories. Siruxa clapped and shook hands with Jack. Xemnas, angry and sad, started to bang his head against the wall.

"Okay, Captain, jump through this one, Your Majesty and bailiff, the middle one, and all the penguins go in this one." Siruxa pointed to the shadow puddles that should lead to their world. They jumped in and as soon as they were gone, the puddles vanished.

"Now, what will be my Organization nick name?" Siruxa grinned. Xemnas gave her a dagger full of anger at her.

"I don't care."

"Come on! Can I at least have a name thingy or whatever you guys have?"

Xemnas had a creepy forced grin and talked through clenched teeth. "Fine, how about Shadow Stalker?"

"…Fine I'll take it. So, wouldn't Organization 13 be Organization 14?"

"No! I don't want any more changes! You're in and have a name so be grateful!"

"Okay…fine. Sheesh, you get so uptight."

Demyx asked her. "So…you're finally one of us! What are you gonna do next?"

"Let's go to Disneyworld!" People started to clap. "I'm serious, let's go to Disneyworld." Then everyone fell silent.

* * *

A/n: Chocolate!

Axel: As if you need to get any more hyper.

Demyx: Why…what did chocolate ever do…?

All4Riku: I WANT MORE CHOCOLATE!

Riku: -Sigh- Readers send your love by reviews.


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: More reviews! Thanks guys! Everyone gets chocolate and Mickey Mouse ears!

Axel: Is she calm yet?

Demyx: Let's throw something and see what she does!

Axel: Okay (Axel throws Demyx's sitar at a wall) Anything?

Demyx: MY SITAR! JIMMY!

Riku: I'm not asking who the heck is Jimmy, so author doesn't own KH or anything like that. (Demyx tackles Axel and makes hole in a wall) I'm not paid enough for this.

* * *

Chapter 9

"I'M GONNA BARF!" Xigbar threw up in a trash can at the entrance of Disneyworld. Everyone with him put paper bags over their heads in embarrassment. "I hate flying. Why did we have to ride a fuckin' plane?"

"Because we can get a free movie and food. The gummi ships don't have them." Xaldin said. Xigbar took his head out of the garbage can and had a beer. "After you threw up you're drinking?" Xigbar elbowed him and Xaldin had a creepy glare in his eyes.

"Alright, is anyone missing?" Xemnas yelled at the group. Everyone was bored and Siruxa was making bubbles from her bubble gum.

"I hate theme parks." Larxene said kicking a soda can. "The food is expensive, the lines are longer than Xaldin's dreadlocks, and I don't have the right to cuss or hit people because of kids. The thing I hate most of all: I HATE PEOPLE SCREAMING BECAUSE THEY'RE HAVING FUN!"

A little kid was staring at Larxene while eating a lollipop. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT MUNCHKIN?"

"MOMMY!" The kid ran away and dropped his lollipop. "I need to go home now!"

Vexen slapped his forehead. "We just gave in our tickets and Larxene is already PMSing. Now I know why I divorced with my ex."

Demyx turned around with a jaw dropped look. "You had a wife?"

"…You can say that."

"Wait a minute…what do you mean by that?"

Vexen turned around and whistled. "I want to go on the Dumbo ride!" Saix said, who was more energetic than ever. "No way! I wanna go on the Railroad rollercoaster thingy!" Roxas said. They ended up in a scream fight.

"Splash Mountain." Everyone stared at Lexaeus. "We will ride on Splash Mountain."

"Well good luck with that! In case you were livin' under a freakin' rock: I hate the water! Got it memorized?" Axel yelled at Lexaeus.

"I don't care." Everyone started to walk to Splash Mountain and Axel ended up being literally dragged by Zexion. On the line, Larxene kept yelling and threw someone's soda at Luxord to relieve her anger. The operator of the ride let the Organization in the front, with consequential beatings by little kids in the end.

"Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod. Ohmyfuckinggod…" Axel said squirming to get free. But Marluxia kept him down (that doesn't sound right…) and the ride went down. Axel made a high pitched scream that shattered an elderly person's glasses. The water splashed over them and everyone was soaked.

"MY HAIR!" Marluxia screamed. He shredded his own hood to use it as a towel.

"MY SKIN! THE WATER BURNS IT! IT BURNS US! IT BURNS US!" Axel fell to the ground and rolled from left to right. Siruxa stared at him and got a lighter and put it on Axel. He felt the burn and stood up. "Okay what are we doing next. And no water please."

"Wow…I never knew it would work…" Naminé tugged Siruxa's Organization cloak and had a puppy dog face. "Can we go on It's a Small World?"

"Of course. Hey guys we're going on that Small World ride. No excuses or arguments!"

Everyone groaned and sighed. "We don't wanna-"

"Or we can go hug Mickey Mouse."

There was silence. "KING MICKEY CAN GO TO HELL!" A woman stared at them and held her child's hand. "Katie, this is what happens if you eat too much sugar."

On the ride Larxene was glaring at the little robots and cringed at the song. Saix had bloodlust in his eyes to bring an onslaught to all the cute robots and traumatize many little innocent Disney fan kids. Xemnas was starting to get into the ride…a little too into it. So into it that he got out of the ride and performed with the robots. He even spin-changed his clothes into a Dutch girl outfit, with blonde pigtails to boot.

"It's a small world after all/

It's a small world after all/

It's a small world after all/

It's a small, small, world."

Everyone booed and a kid threw a Buzz Lightyear action figure at him. Luxord brought Xemnas back to the ride and gave him water to make his energy lower down. Suddenly a kid screamed and it was because Larxene went on the loose and was destroying the little robots. Saix's eyes glittered and he joined the fray, ripping a robot's head off.

Little kids were crying and parents were ready to sue every Organization group member. Security guards finally came to arrest Larxene and Saix.

"Zexy! Use your super powers!" Demyx said raising a fist in the air. Zexion walked to the security guards and lifted the hair that covered his eye. The eye was paler than his other eye and it glowed. The guards were staring at it like dumb turkeys staring at the rain ready to drown.

"Yes master?"

"Release these two. You will not remember this. Understood?"

"Yes master." Zexion covered his eye and walked over to wait for the ride to end. Siruxa stared at him and asked, "That's your power?"

"No. I just learned it from the Internet."

"Hey! You're that juvenile delinquent!" A security guard said. Everyone looked around.

"Who are you talking about?"

"That girl! I heard from a friend that was a security guard at a high school that she was the craziest adolescent ever!"

"Finally, someone who agrees with the doom of the new generation." Vexen says fixing up the robots with bubblegum.

Siruxa rolled her eyes. "What did I do so bad in high school that you are still remembering? That was years ago."

"You blew up half the school and stole all the money in the school! And I know that by voice records and a fingerprint you left on one of your escapades and this bottle of soda, that you are Shadow Fox!"

All the people were quiet and staring at Siruxa. She made a little week laugh and pointed at something. "LOOK! CHIP AND DALE ARE DOING THE HAMSTER DANCE!"

Everyone except the Organization looked and Siruxa ran for dear life. The security guard turned around and yelled. In response, the Organization decided to run. It took a few minutes for the people to realize that Chip and Dale weren't doing the hamster dance. Not because they weren't there, but because they were chipmunks, not hamsters.

* * *

Siruxa was being chased on a rollercoaster with the cops on the back cart. They were trying to climb over the carts but as soon as they went down a slope, they fell right back into it. As soon as the ride finished, she ran out the cart and passed a Dippin' Dots stand (ME LUUUUUUUUUUV DIPPIN' DOTS!). She ran backwards and stopped.

"I'll have a medium sized mint chocolate flavor please." After a few seconds she got her treat and the guards were chasing after her. "Herekeepthechange!" The guards ran after her and the Organization followed.

"C'mon you maggots! My grandma can run faster than you! She's got a peg leg for god's sake! Left, left, left right left!" Xemnas said with a megaphone. Everyone of the Organization was panting and crawling. But Lexaeus was pumped up and Xaldin and Naminé were just walking.

"I…need…water…" Demyx moaned. "I…need…to torture…stuffed animals…" Larxene said having a hard time to keep her antennae hair in place. Roxas looked at her and went a few inches away from her.

"Where are Zexion and Luxord?" Naminé asked looking around. Everyone just froze. "THOSE FREAKIN' LAZY ASSES!"

* * *

"And that, Madame, is the trick of the waterfall shuffle." Luxord said to a young mother. "Wow, you know your stuff, don't ya?" Luxord lifted his eyebrow slightly and had a crooked smile.

"Luxord, you're making me sick." Zexion said eating a piece of funnel cake (Funnel cake goooooooood). "There will be a million husbands asking for their wives back."

"Calm down, Zexion, they are single mothers. And besides, my friend always said I was the James Bond in high school."

"And when was that? The day disco was invented?"

* * *

The guards were still chasing the Shadow Nobody and they went in the Snow White's Scary Adventures ride. The guards were trying to be stealth like, but the background scared the heck out of them. Then at the near end of the ride, the evil witch fell off the cliff and landed on one of them and they screamed. Little did they know, Siruxa was disguised as a bored teenager on the ride. As soon as she got out of the ride, she put her Organization cloak on.

"This is better than Mischief Night for the sophomores." She walked off and the guards found her again. She took off in a run and went to the Ariel's Cove area. "Sorry Ariel, but you're temporarily fired." She grabbed the woman being Ariel on her coffee break and took her costume and wig. She changed and took her position in the Cove.

"Batter up." Then little kids lined up to meet the pretender-of-the-fake-Ariel. There were a lot of photos, smiling, and water. But…this was only the beginning.

"Yay! I finally get to see Ariel!" A familiar voice went through Siruxa's ears. _Oh no…Don't tell me it's him. _But pleas don't come true ladies and gentlemen, because Demyx was actually in the building…or cove, with Zexion and Marluxia.

"My…you're one to still be a Little Mermaid fanatic."

"Lady, his idol is the Little Mermaid. Now Demyx say hi to the hardworking…and pretty lady and let's go." Marluxia said staring at the little kids running around and back at the girl they don't know is Siruxa.

"But I want a picture!"

"No!"

"Fine…Zexy can I get a picture with Ariel?"

"…I don't see why we can't just go to Atlantica for the real thing, but fine." Demyx cheered and got ready next to the faking-the-fake-Ariel. Marluxia was scowling the unfairness and stupidity of the situation. Zexion got Demyx's camera and positioned it. "All right, say Kingdom Hearts."

"Kingdom Hearts!" Demyx yelled. But Siruxa noticed the real Ariel pretender coming and kissed Demyx on the cheek. Then the photo was taken and everyone stared at the fake-faker Ariel when they saw what she did.

"HEY! YOU'RE WEARING MY COSTUME!" "Ariel" said. Siruxa looked at the lady and looked away.

"I…don't know what you're talking about."

"THIS!" The woman took off the wig and Siruxa's long hair was revealed. Marluxia's and Demyx's jaws dropped and Zexion's eyebrows, or eyebrow, went up. Siruxa laughed weakly and twiddled her fingers. "Um…I'm at the wrong theme park?" Suddenly security guards handcuffed Siruxa and she was led away in a police car.

* * *

"Too bad Demyx. You'll have to visit your girlfriend in jail." Axel said flicking a lighter on and off. Everyone was back at the castle except for Siruxa. Apparently, Xemnas ordered them to all teleport back to the castle without her.

"YAY! SHE'S GONE! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS…WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING 'TILL THE END! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! NO TIME FOR LOSERS-" Xemnas sang

"'Cause we are the champions." Siruxa sang right after. Xemnas stopped in his tracks and slowly looked at the femme Nobody. At that moment Xemnas fell to the floor crying and pounding his fists on the floor like a kid in a tantrum. "Awww, you missed me?"

"We thought you were in the slammer." Lexaeus said.

"Exactly, I was."

"How did you get out?" Larxene asked putting a pacifier in Xemnas's mouth to shut him up.

"Well…" Just then a special report came on the TV while Saix was trying to watch a soap opera.

"We interrupt your viewing program for a special report: Half of a police station is on fire and destroyed. There are no deaths so far, fortunately, but some people have some injuries. We'll give you more news coverage on your local news channels." Everyone stared at the TV, then at Siruxa. "Oh…my…freakin'…Keyblades…" Everyone said and backed away.

"What? It was self defense."

"Couldn't you open a shadow portal to get here, or teleport?"

"Well…that wouldn't be fun. And the bathrooms were full."

Axel patted Demyx on the back. "Good luck with a girl that blows stuff up for fun water boy."

* * *

A/n: I love Disneyworld. Let's sing a song! "When you wish upon a star."

Demyx: "Makes no difference who you are."

Axel and Riku: ………………………

All4Riku: Come on sing!

Axel: -Sigh- Fine. The author would like you to send your love by reviews. If you review you get Dippin' Dots. "Everything your heart desires will come to you."

Riku:…What has the world come to?


	10. Chapter 10

A/n: Got more reviews! Now…I need a match, oil, and water.

Riku: What are you trying to do?

Demyx: Making fire go on water…or blow something up.

Axel: Now you're talkin'!

(As I said a million times: I DON"T OWN KINGDOM HEARTS.)

* * *

Chapter 10

The doorbell rings and Xemnas and Saix arrive at the door. Saix opens the door and finds a chimpanzee at the door with a suitcase and wearing a jacket, tie, fake mustache, and a bowler hat. Saix took out a remote controller and fixed up a dial and targeted the monkey.

"Good evening gentlemen. May I interest you in some of my products?"

"Wait a second…Aren't you Mr. Gogoboom?"

The monkey started to look nervous. "Uh…no, I'm Mr. Vadaboom." Mr. "Vadaboom" gave Xemnas a business card. There was a name scratched out and the name was written in crayon and there was a mustache colored in black pen. Now…anyone can tell that the card is fake…but Xemnas doesn't think so.

"Okay Mr. Vadaboom, what do you have?"

The monkey opened the suitcase and there were tons of objects in there, from surveillance cameras to the PS3 to pastries. "What can I interest you in?"

"I'll have that apple labeled "Poisonous Apple", the "mad dog with rabies in a can", hypnotizing water, and that DVD Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Ohhhh and I'll have all the pastries."

Mr. Vadaboom took out a huge calculator and began plugging in the numbers and stopped. "That'll be 80,000 munny."

"Sir, I don't think it's wise to-"

"Here you go!" Xemnas just gave him the munny and carried all the things he bought. "We'll just have to lower the salary for everyone. Except me of course." Saix turned off the remote and exited while grumbling/swearing.

"Ah ah oohh oh." (Have a good day sir). The monkey said.

"You have a good day too Mr. Vadaboom!" Wow…Xemnas can speak monkey? "Now…to get that crazy girl out of my house with operation Candy Apple. But first…I'LL EAT PASTRIES AND WATCH WILLIE WONKA!"

Xemnas teleported to a nearby TV, already occupied by Xigbar, who was watching Cops. Xemnas pushed Xigbar out the way and put the DVD in the DVD player. The movie played, but it wasn't a real movie. It was some dumb lazy people acting the moview badly. Xemnas was about to bite into a cake, but he realized it was foam coated in a thin shell of plastic.

"MR. VADABOOM TRICKED ME! I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!"

* * *

Siruxa was humming down the hallway and found Roxas and Naminé. "Hey! Guess what I got?"

"Another misdemeanor?" Roxas asked sarcastically.

"No." Siruxa held out a cute little panda cub (I LUV PANDAS!). "Isn't he cute? I think I'll call him…Bob. It sounds like a cute name."

"He's so cute." Naminé said hugging the panda.

There was awkward silence. "Bob the panda? And don't you have a cat?"

"Jinx needs a friend. And Demyx likes pandas."

"Wait…what are you talking about?" Roxas asked raising his eyebrows.

"Me and Demyx are gonna share him." There was a sound of something breaking and Siruxa saw Marluxia staring with his mouth open and he apparently dropped a cream colored vase.

"Have you been doing drugs?" Marluxia says putting a hand to her forehead.

"No. Just because I'm a fugitive doesn't mean I did or I'm doing drugs."

"Ruxy you got a panda!" Demyx quickly bear hugged Siruxa and Bob (-laughs-get it? Bear and panda...never mind).

"Yep. I'm thinking his name should be Bob. You have a suggestion?" She said after she gasped for air from Demyx's hug/strangle hold-ish grip.

"…Um, Panda?"

"Demyx, you suck at name giving." Marluxia said smacking his forehead and making something grow.

"How about Panda Bob?" Naminé asked.

"That sounds cute." Siruxa said giving the panda some bamboo, which was freshly made by the pink-haired florist 5 seconds ago.

"You two are acting like you're naming your kid! Are you even dating?" Marluxia said

"Well-" Demyx was about to say but Xemnas showed up and had a creepy fake smile (Imagine a killer clown smiling with a chainsaw. That's what Xemnas looks like).

"Hello Ruxy!" Everyone stared at him and Roxas looked irked. "I got you this apple!" He handed her the apple and sped off. Siruxa put the panda down and looked at the apple.

"I don't think you should eat that. Remember what happened to Snow White? She is applephobic." Roxas said, poking the apple.

"It doesn't matter. I'm not much of an apple fan…except if it's candy apples with M&Ms on top and if it's apple pie. Hey Vexen!"

Vexen stopped and stared at her and reluctantly walked over. "You want this?"

"…Fine. This better not be one of Demyx's or Roxas's pranks." Vexen took the apple and bit it. Suddenly, Vexen fell to the floor.

"Oh my god! It killed Vexy! You evil!" Demyx said pointing at the apple. But then blue smoke appeared and Vexen turned into a mountain goat. Luxord saw this and his jaw dropped.

"Baaaaah." Vexy the goat said.

"I knew Vexen's inner self was a goat! Pay up suckers!" Luxord said. Demyx and Marluxia dished in munny, but Roxas gave him string, a dead moth, and an old wad of gum.

"Roxas!" Luxord yelled at him.

"I'm broke." He lied. Of course Roxas has cash, but Roxas doesn't like spending his own cash prematurely. So he munches off the munny of poor unsuspected Nobodies.

"You'll work at my casino/room for a week." He said throwing the poor collection that Roxas gave in. Roxas shrugged and walked off.

"Damn! She didn't even eat the apple! And Vexen didn't die of poison! Time for plan Mad Dog." Xemnas said looking at a surveillance video of the hall while at a weird looking computer room. He took the can and wrapped it in a can wrapper labeled "Moogle's Sweet Green Peas".

Xemnas was walking in a kitchen Siruxa was heading to. He put the can on a counter top and hid in a closet with the door cracked a bit.

"Hmmm, someone left a can of food here." Siruxa picked it up and stared at it. She had a hard time opening it, so she shook it. The lid opened it and a rocket flew around out of it. It started to zero in on the closet because the lid was facing it. When Xemnas saw the rocket, he held up a sign that said "Yikes". Then the closet blew up and Siruxa ran out the kitchen to avoid another mishap.

* * *

Zexion was reading a book that said "How to Tame Those of Lesser Intellectual Knowledge". Suddenly someone popped up from behind and Zexion raised his visible eyebrow.

"Hey Zexy!"

"Go away water boy. I've got no time for-is that a panda?" Zexion saw the panda on Demyx's head. It was chewing on some more bamboo and it stared at Zexion as if he was the weirdest thing that ever non-existed.

"How come everyone calls me water boy?"

"Did you ever watch that movie with Adam Sandler when he played a low IQ guy who lived with his momma and was obsessed with water and joined a football team?"

"Yeah…Hey!"

Zexion smirked (……he would look so cool……) and continued reading. "Zexy, did you ever have someone who looked up to you?"

"If you count Xaldin wanting to be crafty and cool like me and Vexen trying to beat me in wisdom, yes. Why?"

Demyx started to make a puppy dog face and quivered his lip. "I need help."

"Yes you do."

"No I mean, about girls. I know I'm a very talented rock star with big dreams and groupies ready to bite my hair off and rip off one of my favorite clothes…but this is big."

Zexion was asleep and the book was in his face. He woke up and rubbed his eye. "What was that?"

"Never mind. The point is…I have no clue on what to do."

"You have no clue on anything."

"Zexy! Be my Jedi master of talking with the ladies!"

"You kissed her so you shouldn't have a problem. Besides, has it ever occurred to you that I'm emo? Talk to…Lexaeus."

"What?"

"Sorry your time is up. Come tomorrow at 2:00 pm. I don't want to miss my show." Zexion teleported off. Demyx was left alone with Panda Bob the panda chewing a hard bamboo stem.

"Panda Bob, can I have some?" The cute panda handed Demyx a thin piece of bamboo and they ate in silence.

* * *

"This will work! Operation Dry Jokes will be the doom of that girl!" Xemnas, in a robber uniform and slightly burned and bruised, crept to Siruxa's room and picked the lock. He got in and put the cup of the hypnotizing water on a table and hid under her bed.

Siruxa walked in and Jinx meowed and moved to go around her ankles. "Where did the water come from?" She walked over and lifted the cup. "I'm not really thirsty and mom always said that water out of no where leads to losing underwear, so…" She dumped the water in a trash can and it started to glow. Then tiny faeries flew out of it.

"WAIT A FREAKIN' MINUTE!" Xemnas came out from under the bed and looked like he should be sent to the nut house. "WHY IS THE HYPNO WATER SOMETHING THAT MAKES STUPID FAERIES APPEAR?"

Uh oh, bad move Xemny. You should never make fun of faeries. The faeries zoomed around Xemnas and pinched and poked him. They also started pulling his hair and one even bit him. Then they lifted him up with faerie dust and sent him flying out the castle.

"LOOKS LIKE XEMNAS IS BLASTING OFF!" He yelled as he fell to the city surrounding the Castle That Never Was.

Siruxa looked confused. She made a shadow puddle and reached in there. She took out the bottle of the hypno water, the already eaten apple, and the food can. She tasted whatever little water there was. "I have a feeling the monkey tricked him again. This is sugar water. Anyway, how did you guys get out of that water?"

"We're water faeries! When water spills in a small tiny place, we frolic!"

"…Right. Don't mean to be rude, but can you take your frolicking somewhere else?" The tiny faeries nodded and flew out the window. Xaldin, who was walking past, saw the faeries flying out the door.

"FAERIES! I'LL GET YOU LITTLE SPRITES FROM HELL! YOU'LL PAY FOR STEALING MY POT OF GOLD!" Xaldin summoned his lances to make the dragon and he chased them outside.

* * *

"Hey pyro maniac and one-eye, where's Vexen? I need something from him. And what's with that goat?" Larxene asked Axel and Xigbar, who were watching a wrestling match.

"The goat is Vexen spark." Axel said pointing at Vexen the Chilly Goatademic. Larxene stared at the goat, and then broke out in laughter.

"This is perfect! Now I can finally eat goat!"

Vexen's eyes widened and he sped off. Larxene chased him with a butcher knife and swinging it around, slicing anything that got in her way. Larxene finally caught him and was about to slice the poor goat, but red smoke appeared and Vexen was himself again. He was able to stop the butcher knife by using his shield.

"YOUNG LADY YOU ARE GETTING A LECTURE OUT OF ME!" Vexen yelled. Larxene tried to escape, but Vexen blocked all the possible exits she can use with a thick layer of ice. Larxene started to tackle the wall of ice, but it was too hard. "As I was saying…" (For safety and sparing space for this chapter, the lecture is censored…back to the story).

* * *

Lexaeus was working on a 1000 pieces puzzle of the scenery of Twilight Town. He was humming nursery rhymes and eating chocolate chip cookies (COOKIES!). Then, out of no where, Demyx appears with Panda Bob on his shoulder.

"Hiya Lexy! I need help."

"You forgot how to tie your shoes again?"

"No. You see…it's about…" Panda Bob made noises and Demyx guessed he finished his sentence. "Yeah, what he said."

Lexaeus dropped his cookie and stood up to give Demyx a fatal hug. "Awww, our widdle Demy is growing up so fast!"

"You're…killin'…me…" Demyx said turning a bit blue. Demyx was let go and stood up.

"Alright, the key is this..."

Siruxa was watching Everybody Loves Raymond and eating chocolate pudding (CHOCOLATE PUDDING!). Demyx walked in and seemed to have something behind his back. Lexaeus was hiding, badly, behind a corner behind Siruxa and holding signs. Demyx noticed Lexaeus's sign and cleared his throat.

"Siruxa you look great."

"Uh, thank you. You do too." Lexaeus held another sign talking about the Halloween thing.

"About that thing back in Halloween Town…I, uh…well…"

"The heat of the moment?"

"Yeah! That was what I was gonna say." _This is harder than Xemny sending me for fighting! _He saw the next sign that said something about "moving in". Demyx didn't understand, so Lexaeus went to the next sign that said "go for it".

Siruxa tilted her head a bit and turned around, but Lexaeus moved before she could see him. She turned back to Demyx.

"Anyway…I want us to go out." He said, but very quietly.

"What was that?"

Lexaeus took out a sign that said "DON'T BE A FREAKIN' WUSS WATERBOY!" in bold red. Demyx received some courage. He walked closer until he was a few inches from her.

"I want us to go out." Siruxa looked stunned, and she teleported out. Demyx looked like someone threw their dirty socks at his face. "Lexy I told you I should've written a song!"

Demyx got to his room to start his lyrics writing when he found a note on his door. The handwriting was neat and in purple ink. It said "Yes" and there was a heart surrounding it. He started to jump around his room and dance with Panda Bob, who started to keep his distance after Demyx's energy lowered. But…Demyx doesn't know that another door of weirdness events that are weirder than what hot dogs are made of.

* * *

A/n: Yay! Romance is finally in the air!

Demyx: Hasn't it been?

Riku: Well, maybe fully. I don't know. I'm not even in this story.

Demyx: You better be careful, the author is a crafty mistress.

Axel: (eating pudding) Review for this fanfic and you'll get a bowl of vanilla, lemon, strawberry, or chocolate pudding. Man this stuff is good.


	11. Chapter 11

A/n: Got more reviews! Let them eat pudding! Sorry if I updated a bit late. I hate homework. And I got a special guest…drum roll….Zexy!

(Zexion walks out and girls make high pitched screams): What do you want?

Author: Pwitty pwease say the disclaimer?

Zexion: No.

Riku: You shouldn't have said that.

Zexion: Why?

(Author lifts window curtains to reveal crazy Zexion, Riku, Axel, and Demyx fans trying to break in.)

Axel: Does one of them have foam on her mouth?

Zexion: This person doesn't own KH…Gotta disconnect my phone next time.

* * *

Chapter 11

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Marluxia yells. He sees Panda Bob on his nice fluffy pink and creamy orange carpet and sees a little, yellowish circle. Apparently, Panda Bob snuck into Marluxia's room and slept there, and had an accident. Too bad the carpet was expensive.

"DEEEEEEMMMMMMYYYYYYXXXXX!"

Demyx ran in Marluxia's room wearing a blue bathrobe and fish pajama pants. "Panda Bob! How did you get in here? Hope Ruxy's not gonna have a fit…"

"Why the hell is your panda in my room? It peed on my carpet! All my sweat, tears, and blood was put into buying this!"(Wouldn't you be mad if someone's pet peed in your room?)

When Demyx picked up Panda Bob and slowly walked away. When Marluxia got his scythe, he broke out into a run.

* * *

Axel and Roxas were in the heated, strategic game of…ping pong. Axel knows what he's doing, but he messed up most of the time. Roxas, however, sucks at ping pong and he somehow manages to get points by accident.

"And the male nobody species give way to a screwed up world." Larxene says getting pretzels to eat. Even though it's morning, no one dares to tell what Larxene should eat. They would if they are immune to her secret pet, Jaws.

"Why don't you try sparky?" Axel asked, while getting hit in the head by an incoming ping pong ball. Larxene got up, threw a pretzel at Axel, and took his ping pong paddle. When Roxas served, Larxene hit it so hard it quickly bounced off and hit right between Roxas's eyes. Roxas fell on the floor seeing lightening bolts, every type of keyblade, and stars.

"Wooooow, you're good." Axel said taking the ping pong ball off Roxas's face. Larxene just threw the paddle at Axel and got back to her snacking. Then, Siruxa teleported in the room and took some Trix cereal.

"Can someone put on a film? I've got nothin' to do."

"Yeah you do. You have a mission. You're on the team. Got it memorized?"

"Aw come on! It's Saturday and I'll miss my show!"

"Calm down. Me, Demyx, Lexaeus, and Roxas are going with you since it's your first mission. And it's one of my least favorite places of all: Port Royal. The last time I went there some ugly monkey stole the keys to my gummi ship and made it crash into the ocean!" Larxene says breaking a blender in the process.

"Port Royal…good times. But the people there were rude. I found some treasure and some ugly skeleton pirates chased me away! That gold in that stone chest could've last a lifetime!"

"Yeah…if you don't mind being a skeleton for the rest of your non-existent life." Roxas said, putting a chocobo band-aid on his forehead in an X.

"RUXY HELP ME!" Demyx says running towards her. She steps away and makes a shadow puddle as Marluxia ran to them, scythe being swung around and making cuts on the walls. As he was about to leap in the air and behead our Melodious Nocturne, he fell in the puddle.

* * *

Marluxia landed in a big fish tank and he spat out water. "Can my day get any worse? Wait a minute…" He looks around. Maces, axes, electric table, yet a neat bone white-colored room that looks peaceful and a bit girly? Marluxia sees the fish tank he's in and sees bones of big fish. "Oh crap…Larxene's room. And this is…"

Then, Lexaeus, who was cleaning Larxene's room, played that creepy music on his boom box when someone is about to get attacked by a shark. He sees the shark fin and jumps up from the water and runs, but Jaws was able to bite onto his Organization cloak, causing it to get ripped off. Too bad Marluxia is wearing pink boxers with purple polka dots and white daisies.

* * *

"I'm not gonna ask why Marluxia was chasing you…" Siruxa sighed, picking up Panda Bob. "How are you?" She quickly changed her face to a smile.

"Good, but Panda Bob had an accident in Marly's room."

"Awww, guess that means no food before bedtime. The zoo keeper did say he sleep walks…"

"ENOUGH! Let's get this damn mission over with, before I get really angry." Larxene said throwing the pretzels all over the place.

"It's okay Larxene. I'll get you something nice by the time you get back home. Okay, honey." NO YOU IDIOT AXEL! No one calls Larxene 'honey'. Just the mention of her and that word in the same sentence gives you the punishment of:

"WHEN WILL YOU EVER QUIT? SECRET TECHNIQUE: LIGHTENING WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE KICK!"

Larxene kicked Axel so hard he got kicked right out of his Organization robe! All he had was a black t-shirt and boxers with fire moombas on them. He crashed through until his head was stuck in his spot at the "Proof of Existence." Unfortunately, Luxord was having a hot dog when he saw Axel's body minus the head stuck in the ceiling. He looked at his hot dog, and threw it away.

* * *

"Alright, everyone here…Siruxa, Demyx, what's with the panda?" Roxas asked. Panda Bob was on top of Siruxa's head asleep.

"Panda Bob can't be left alone. Mommy and Daddy have to be around."

"WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?"

"Quiet! My tune's on. Ready to launch." Lexaeus said, starting up the gummi ship. What does the shape look like? It's the shape of…a rock. Well, Lexaeus's element is earth/rock. So…it's a rock.

"It's my jam! _What you want/Baby I got it. What you need/ You know I got it."_

Demyx and Siruxa were listening to head phones, but Roxas, apparently, forgot his MP3 player, and is forced to listen to Lexaeus's voice. Larxene is just listening to a calming audio cassette on her tape player. Oh the pain and mutiny.

* * *

"_10,000 bottles of pop on the wall. 10,000 bottles of pop. You take one down, pass it around. No more bottles of pop on the wall!"_

Lexaeus stopped singing because they finally reached Port Royal. Roxas, a poor fisherman, was partially in tears because of Lexaeus's road trip singing. Demyx was a pirate and Lexaeus was a naval officer. Siruxa, with Panda Bob on her head, was a female pirate, with apparently guns with her. Larxene looked like a sailor also.

"Shouldn't you hide those?" Demyx asked pointing to the pistols.

"It's okay. They are accessory, they're not real."

"Hey you!" Two soldiers ran to them armed. "You're that thief!"

Everyone looked at Siruxa who was whistling. "What're you talkin' about?"

"You stole the Interceptor!"

"Got the wrong pirate. It was Jack…"

"Not that piece of junk! The Interceptor 2!"

Siruxa took one of the guns and stared at it. "Oh…that one. You see, I borrowed it…without permission. It's very hard for a girl to travel these days." She pulled the gun out and fired. But all that was shot were little egg pelts. The soldiers looked very disgusted and knocked the gun out her hand.

"Um…parley?" The four Nobodies teleported out and appeared at a bar with a lot of drunken people.

"I bet Xigbar can get used to this…" Roxas said when he sees someone throwing up in a barrel.

"This is disgusting! This mission better be worth it or I'll see to it that these people will have new fresh scars and burns!" Larxene said smacking a drunken sailor.

"What is our mission? Find somebody or treasure of some kind?" The shadow Nobody asked. Panda Bob fell off her head and on her shoulder. "Hey. No acrobatics until you're 6 young man."

"I said I get half of it!" A bickering man yelled at another man, who looked like…Jack Sparrow?

"You see. You did absolutely nothing. So, half of nothing is nothing. Savvy?"

"Why you…" The man tried to throw a punch but Jack dodged and punched back. The man fell back and bumped into someone else. Sooner or later…everyone was beating each other-

* * *

…Sorry but the brawl scene is too mature for our viewers. Please sit back and watch Lexaeus's Cooking Time…

"Hey! Censor guy you're not supposed to censor the brawl!"

"Well, too bad. I think you shouldn't have this content. It is rated T."

"You can't tell me what to do! I'm the author!"

"And I'm Smokey the Bear eating a human who is making a fire next to a tree. Get a grip."

"Grrrrr…my authorata will not be ignored. I challenge you to a sissy slap fight!"

"Bring it on you adolescent tyrant of doom!"

The sissy slap fight was all but a complete embarrassment. Somehow, Panda Bob crawls over to the censor control button and turns the censor light off. The brawl is apparently over.

"You idiot! We missed the bar fight! Saix! Get the mailbox!"

"Booya!" Saix yells charging and hitting the censor guy into space with Claymore.

"That guy is fired for sure. Ohhhh, the readers are still reading aren't they? Um…here's the rest of the story.

* * *

The bar was a mess. Most of the people in the bar were knocked out and the only people left standing were Jack, the four Nobodies, and some of Jacks friends. Larxene was drinking water among knocked out and greatly bruised people.

"Man…Can't believe this happens everyday! Lexaeus, what are we looking for?"

"Hmmm, it says 2 dozen goose/duck eggs, 5 cartons of milk…"

"You're reading the wrong side of the list again!" Roxas yelled. Lexaeus put duct tape over Roxas's mouth. It's not ordinary duct tape…it's sticky jelly duct tape.

"Oh. It says: A talking toucan."

There was awkward silence.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THE MISSION IS ALL ABOUT FINDING XEMNAS A STUPID TALKING TOUCAN?" Siruxa and Larxene yelled breaking a bottle.

"It's not just any toucan. It's…TooToo the Toucan."

"Hey you guys! I found it!" Demyx said taking a colorful Toucan from a knocked out man, who is being robbed by Jack…Captain Jack Sparrow. The bird cocked it's head and blinked.

"Can you sing a part of Under the Sea?" Demyx asked.

"_The seaweed is always greener/_

_In somebody else's lake._

_You dream about going up there/_

_But that is a big mistake._

_Just look at the world around you/_

_Right here on the ocean floor._

_Such wonderful things around you/_

_What more is you lookin' for?"_

Everyone in the room had wide mouths bigger than a codfish. Sparrow whistled and said, "That's some bird. Mind if I…"

"No." Everyone said as they teleported back to the ship.

* * *

"Yay! TooToo the Toucan! It took you long enough! I wanted to hear the Miss Universe theme song!"

Siruxa tapped her foot. "Don't we get paid for this?"

"I have to pay off some debts, so no salary for a while."

Uh oh, something's coming. Siruxa gave Panda Bob to Demyx and told everyone but Xemnas to leave. Larxene decided to stick around and join Siruxa. They locked the door and everyone was able to hear Xemnas's girly shrieks and objects breaking. Siruxa walked out with TooToo and sighed in relaxation. Larxene walked out fixing her antennae hair strands.

"I'll be selling TooToo back to someone in Port Royal. Sayonara." She teleported out the castle.

Demyx, Roxas, and Lexaeus looked at the messed up room. Xemnas was clinging for life on a curtain that is outside. Next time Xemnas should think of a not-so-high castle.

* * *

A/n: Chapter 11! Let's get a closing from TooToo the Toucan!

Demyx: Yay! I wanna listen to Under the Sea!

Riku: We already did…But that song is kind of catchy.

Axel: NO! NO WATER SONGS!

Zexion:...Fools.

Me: Please press the purple-ish button to review! Hit it TooToo!

(TooToo sings Under the Sea while Axel bangs his head against the wall and everyone else but Zexion sings along)


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: This chapter is gonna be super different!

Riku:…Why?

Demyx: You'll find out soon my friend!

Riku: You're in on this?

Axel: Everyone except you my man. You should have stayed for the secret top meeting.

Riku: What meeting?

Me: Let's start the chapter! I don't own KH or anything else in this chappie that is already own by the big major company people so let's start before my sugar rush!

* * *

Chapter 12

Ba ba da da

_Ba ba da da_

_Ba ba da da _

_Ba ba da da_

_Ba ba da da_

_Take a look at my girlfriend_

_She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)_

_Not much of a girlfriend_

_I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)_

* * *

Demyx tip toes spy like and quietly knocks on the door. "Hey, you ready?" Siruxa peeks out her door and smiles. "Yep." She got out and they teleported out the castle to who knows where. 

"It's too quiet…Where's Demyx?" Marluxia asks setting up a pretty bouquet of different color roses, even purple, blue, etc. Roxas and Axel were playing Super Smash Bros. and even hitting each other on the head with their controllers to cheat. Zexion was reading a book that says "The Reality of Non-Reality".

"Don't know don't care. He probably got his butt stuck in a toilet for all I care." Zexion said turning a page.

"I didn't see Ruxy either. Panda Bob and Jinx (the black cat that someone might have forgotten about) are by themselves in Lexaeus's pet day care." Naminé said eating a banana and strawberry smoothie (Yum!).

Suddenly the door bursts open and the doors smash the TV and the game. Axel and Roxas were completely frozen. Xemnas, who apparently was the one who blew up the doors along with Saix, had a battering ram that was decorated in circus stickers.

"ALRIGHT YA LAZY BUMS! WE'VE GOT A DATE TO CRASH!"

Axel, who had just smacked himself to set his nonexistent brain back into motion, stood up with his shocked expression still on his face. "What do you mean Boss?"

"Xemnas is simply saying we'll be 'supervising' Demyx's date. Of course we'll have to do stupid things, again." Xaldin said appearing in the kitchen to have chocolate.

"ENOUGH! IT'S TIME TO SCREW UP ANOTHER HAPPY MOMENT! IT'S JUST LIKE THAT TIME WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY!"

Saix looked like someone took the last of the Tickle Me Elmo Xtreme toy. Then his mind got back to reality. "Wait...You mean all of my baby teeth weren't taken by the tooth fairy?"

"Nope."

Awkward silence. Roxas started to laugh at Saix. The Lunar Nobody started to cry. "YOU LIED TO ME!" He ran off crying like a baby and everyone stared at him.

_

* * *

It's been some time since we last spoke  
This is gonna sound like a bad joke  
But momma I fell in love again  
It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend _

And I know it sounds so old  
But cupid got me in a chokehold  
And I'm afraid I might give in  
Towels on the mat my white flag is wavin'

* * *

It's a nice cheery day at Twilight Town's busy streets. But today there was a fair and the Organization were disguised as little kids, with Vexen and Xemnas disguised old people. Their disguise was brought to you by Vexen's Prune Juice and Fruit Cup Potion. 

"If some adult tries to pinch my cheeks, even only once, they'll get their organs pinched." Larxene says pouting in girly pigtails with her antennae still there. Axel laughed at her, but she grinned back. "At least I don't look like a hobo moomba Axel."

"There they are." Naminé said pointing at Demyx and Siruxa who were playing the whack-a-mole game. Demyx accidentally swung the mallet and hit the guy who ran the whack-a-mole game down under after getting way too into the game of hitting annoying creepy-looking moles.

"Good job Naminé. Now, Lexaeus, you will go there and squirt Demyx with the ketchup and mustard we took from the hot dog stand. Got it…Lexaeus?" Xemnas asked shaking like an old man. They spot Lexaeus on a pony ride and he was really acting like a kid. He even had a rainbow swirl lollipop. Xigbar was acting like a real cowboy and he hit his pony, causing the pony to get on its hind legs and throw Xigbar off and his face ended up landing in pony poop.

"Aw…Vexen what do you say at a time like this?" Xemnas said in an old weary man's voice.

"Whippersnappers?"

"Yeah that's right! Aw whippersnappers-ow ow ow! My back! My spleen! Xaldin get me my medicine!" Xemnas fell over and started to squirm like a worm. Warning: Vexen's Prune Juice and Fruit Cup Potion may cause rapid and painful loss of baby teeth or senior citizen pain.

_

* * *

I mean she even cooks me pancakes  
And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches  
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is _

We even got a secret handshake  
And she loves the music that my band makes  
I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun  
I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

(ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

* * *

Now the Organization followed Demyx and Siruxa to Agrabah where they rented a magic carpet, or in legal terms, stealing the one from Aladdin and returning it before he finds out. The Organization were following them in the air by air balloon, which was unfortunately the shape of a rubber ducky and they were disguised as merchants. 

"Ha! We'll get them now! I'm a geneeus! All I have to do is make my monkey kite fly to them with this key and paper clip with the help of Xaldin's element and they'll get shocked by nearby lightening! Zexion what are you doing?" Xemnas yelled, using a cane from the side effects of the potion.

Zexion is filming Demyx and Siruxa on tape with a really nice video camera. "This will go good for America's Funniest Videos. Just have to find a meaningless point of comedy."

"This wind is messing up my hair. Gotta get my hairspray." Marluxia pulled out a big can of hairspray and started to spray like crazy. Everyone started to cough and Axel got mad.

"FREAKIN' FLOWER BOY! YOU'RE HAIRSPRAY AND SISSY ATTITUDE IS PISSING ME OFF!" Axel summoned his chakrams and sent fire to Marluxia. It missed him, but it hit the balloon. Now the moment was like slow motion. Everyone jumped out the balloon with emergency parachutes as the air balloon blew up, with Xemnas getting slightly burned by his own burning kite. Demyx and Siruxa turned around while eating sandwiches.

"What happened to that?" Demyx asked. Siruxa shrugged and they continued eating. Everyone else was falling with parachutes and they landed hard on the sand near the Cave of Wonders. Roxas got up and spit out sand. "Where's Lexaeus?"

As if on queue, Lexaeus gently floated down by…umbrella. He whistled Mary Poppins tunes and when he landed he put away the umbrella. Everyone stared at him until Luxord said, "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious." (Do you know how long it takes to spell it and type it?)

_

* * *

Take a look at my girlfriend  
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)  
Not much of a girlfriend  
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da) _

Take a look at my girlfriend  
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)  
Not much of a girlfriend  
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)

* * *

"I don't know why the hell they thought of coming here, because this ain't right." Saix said. Everyone is wearing Christmas Elf costumes and following Demyx and Siruxa at Yuletide Hill. They were in Santa styled clothes and walking toward Santa's Workshop. Xemnas was eating a candy cane, and had some bandages from the burns. 

"I hated the last time we were here. And I hate snow. It's cold, it tastes bad, and it messes up your underwear!" Axel yelled kicking the snow.

But Saix and Xemnas's eyes were gleaming. "SANTA CLAUSE! SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA SANTA!" They said running to Santa's workshop, but they tripped and kept tumbling down that hill. And they made a giant snowball on the way down. And it rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled, and rolled until they crashed into the merry-go-round at the entrance of Santa's workshop.

"Xaldin, tell me, why must I go through my nonexistent life with these idiots?" Zexion said taking a little nutcracker figure and threw it away.

"Maybe it's because being a good looking emo genius comes with that price. I don't know, at least your hair is better than mine. Do you know how hard it is to wash these licorice trees called dreadlocks?"

Zexion shrugged and left Xaldin by himself to the harsh cold snow. The Organization followed the two happy Nobodies to Christmas Tree Plaza and hid close to the entrance. Apparently they are making a giant snow man and a ginger bread house with the help of elves and ginger bread people.

_

* * *

_

_It's been awhile since we talked last and I'm tryin' hard not to talk fast  
But dad I'm finally thinkin' I may have found the one  
Type of girl that will make you way proud of your son_

_And I know you heard the last song about the girls that didn't last long  
But I promise this is on a whole new plane  
I can tell by the way she says my name (ba ba da da)_

_I love it when she calls my phone  
She even got her very own ringtone  
If that ain't love then I don't know what love is (ba ba da da)_

_

* * *

_

"Ah snow man! Frosty don't hurt me! I'll never eat your Oreo eyes again!" Roxas yelled hiding behind Axel. "Dude, get some backbone. It's just damn snow."

"Coming from someone who has a fear of water and snow." Luxord said drinking a cup of hot cocoa made by Lexaeus.

"Shut up!" Axel said throwing a snow ball at the gambling Luxord, causing the cup of cocoa to drop and spill. Luxord ended up crying over spilled milk, spilled chocolate milk in fact. Suddenly, the grown shook and the snow man became evil. It seems that Xemnas used a shovel to pick up that dirty yellow and mud snow and put it on the snow man to mess up the date. Everyone knows that if a snow man has bad snow that is even as small as a pinch, it will make any snow man as bad as the Grinch (hey that rhymes!).

"Ahhhh! Evil snow men do exist!" Roxas said running everyone else decided to run with him and Marluxia carried Xemnas, who got dazed from getting conked on the head by Larxene's lightening punch for turning snow men evil, again. Demyx stared at the snow man and raised his hands in the air. "It lives! Let's eat ginger bread to celebrate!" One of the ginger bread people kicked Demyx in the shin. "Ow! I mean the ginger bread house when we're done!"

The Organization ran until they reached the door to the Hinterlands. But, it was locked and had a note that said 'DOING REMODELING FOR FOURTH OF JULY PARADE IN HINTERLANDS.' "They don't even celebrate 4th of July!" Xigbar yelled ripping the note. The snow man came and had a creepy cannibalistic smile. Vexen stepped forward and held out his hands. "Cease!"

The snow man stopped and looked at Vexen, his new master. Thank goodness there is a Nobody of Ice. "Be good." At those words, the snow man became a cute giant snow bunny. Everyone looked at the bunny and said their oooohs and awwwws. Xemnas jumped back to consciousness and held his arms out wide in front of the bunny.

"BUNNY!" The snow bunny sniffed him, and then swiftly ate him. The bunny quickly spat him out at a sky rocketing speed across the Christmas realm.

"Ooooh, a shooting star." Xigbar said looking at the flight of the head Nobody.

* * *

_It's gonna be a long drive home but I know as soon as I arrive home  
And I open the door take off my coat and throw my bag on the floor  
She'll be back into my arms once more for sure_

_Take a look at my girlfriend  
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)  
Not much of a girlfriend  
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)  
_

* * *

The Organization, with Xemnas in a leg cast, crutches, and bandages, were dressed as tourists for a tropical vacation. Why? Because they were at…Destiny Islands. They spot Demyx and Siruxa at the beach in swim wear and making a sand castle. 

"Wow, I never knew that Demyx had a six pack…" Marluxia said in a pondering voice. Everyone looked at Marluxia and had awkwardly confused expressions. "What? I'm just pointing it out…It's probably those blue trunks…" Everyone took a sidestep away and had binoculars.

"Awww, they look cute, right Roxas?" Naminé asked him eating Sea Salt ice cream.

"Yeah, whatever." (Ouch…)

"Shut up you guys! They might do a Notebook (the movie) moment! Zexion, make sure your camera's working! Now I'll make my attack with a big tidal wave made by my very own Super Soaker Infinity Bomb!" Xemnas said giving the camera to Zexion.

"Hey! You're Organization XIII!" A voice in the distance said. They looked to the left of their location and found Sora, Riku (I finally found a spot for him!), Kairi, Donald, Goofy, and Mickey.

"Oh great. That Keyblade brat." Vexen said putting away his binoculars and got into the sprinting-for-your-life position.

"Wait a sec Sora. Kairi, do we have anything that has to be done today?" Riku asked holding Sora back. Kairi looked through an electronic PDA and shrugged.

"There's only one thing about going to Wakka and Tidus's blitzball game in 5 hours. We got time. But Roxas and Naminé are our friends. Remember?"

"Oh yeah…THEN LET'S GET THE OTHERS!" Donald yelled and he and Sora, who Riku let go of at that moment, charged after the Organization minus two away from where Demyx and Siruxa were. Riku shrugged and sat with his other friends while Goofy tried catching up to his friends. Kairi, Riku, and Mickey ate ice cream with Roxas and Naminé as they watched the Notebook moment and "awwwed".

* * *

_She's got a smile that would make the most senile  
Annoying old man bite his tongue  
I'm not done  
She's got eyes comparable to sunrise  
And it doesn't stop there  
Man I swear  
She's got porcelain skin of course she's a ten  
And now she's even got her own song  
But movin' on  
She's got the cutest laugh I ever heard  
And we can be on the phone for three hours  
Not sayin' one word  
And I would still cherish every moment  
And when I start to build my future she's the main component  
Call it dumb call it luck call it love or whatever you call it but  
Everywhere I go I keep her picture in my wallet like here  
_

* * *

The Nobodies, tired and fixing up their injuries, were exhausted. But the majority of them were pissed. Naminé and Roxas were watching Click and ignoring their fellow teammates. 

"Xemnas, I want a damn vacation to a spa or else!" Larxene yelled at Xemnas throwing apple sauce at him. Then everyone heard a door open and Demyx and Siruxa walked in laughing and talking and very slightly tanned.

"Hey you guys! Had a nice day?" Siruxa asked. In response everyone groaned and mumbled.

"I got a good joke to put you in a good mood? What problem did the squirrel have that he told the elephant? He was nuts!" In response everyone threw tomatoes at Demyx, but because of their tired limbs predicament, the tomatoes only reached two feet away from them compared to Demyx and Siruxa's six feet distance from them.

"Tough crowd…Well, see ya! We're gonna walk around Memory's Skyscraper. We'll be back in a few minutes." Siruxa said taking some food and teleporting with Demyx out the castle.

There was complete and utter awkward silence, even those tumble weed bush thingies in Old West films came by.

"Can this day get any worse?" Xemnas asked. Suddenly, the giant snow bunny appeared and ate Xemnas again. "Xaldin?" He said loud enough for people to here while inside the bunny.

"Yes sir?"

"I want my phone book. It's time to get rid of the thorn in my gluteus maximus."

"Don't you mean the thorn in your side?" Marluxia asked drinking a Juicy Juice juice box (that's a lot of juice-ness).

"WHATEVER! Hey! Get me out! I think the bunny is ready for digestion! No!"

_

* * *

Take a look at my girlfriend  
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)  
Not much of a girlfriend  
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da) _

_Take a look at my girlfriend  
She's the only one I got (ba ba da da)  
Not much of a girlfriend  
I never seem to get a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)  
_

* * *

Riku: That's one weird way to end a chapter. 

Me: Exactly my friend.

Demyx: Can we make ginger bread men again?

Axel: I can use some sugar…The hell with it, why not?

Me: Let's invite Zexy and get ginger sugar crazy! I'd like to disclaim, just in case, the song Cupid's Chokehold by Gym Class Heroes feat. Patrick Stump of F.O.B! Merry Late Christmas!


	13. Chapter 13

A/n: Yeh uoy syug! Knaht uoy rof ruoy sweiver!

Riku: What the heck is she doing?

Axel: Speaking backwards.

Riku: For?

Demyx: I t'nod wonk. Tub s'ti nuf.

Axel: Rothua seod ton nwo Modgnik Straeh.

Zexion: The pyromaniac means that she does not own Kingdom Hearts. You are all pointless…

* * *

Chapter 13

"Hello? Is this Banana Business Inc. run by Mr. Whack-A-Boom?" Xemnas said on the phone. "I'm…Bob. My name is Bob. I need help with law breakers. The human police won't really help…Say that name three times? Got it, I'll put the bill with your worker." Xemnas hung up and started doing some sort of victory jig and singing.

"What the heck are you doing?" Xemnas stopped his jig and saw Siruxa eating a fudge pop.

"Ordering pizza?"

"Yeah! Just hope it isn't with mushroom topping. I was allergic when I was human." She said walking away and throwing away the Popsicle stick in a shadow puddle (that's littering!). Now, Xemnas could've used that information to bring her down, but he doesn't know the exact meaning of allergic. That's what happens when you eat expired ice cream with the ketchup you call "tomato syrup" ladies and gentlemen.

"Okay…Chips Ahoy and Doritos. Chips Ahoy and Doritos. Chips Ahoy and Doritos!" Nothing happened.

"What a rip off!" At that moment he got hit in the head with a giant banana.

* * *

"Gotta…get…that…fruit…NO!" Demyx cried in failure. "Darn you stupid rhino!" Apparently, one of Demyx's weaknesses is Crash Bandicoot. The high score list came up and Lexaeus was still in first place. "I'll beat you Lexy!"

The doorbell rang and Demyx teleported to the door. He opened it, but no one was there. "Great, pranksters pranked the prankster. Whoa, tongue twister." Suddenly something flew over his head then he got trampled over by dozens of…NINJA MONKEY'S!

"Ouch. Who are you guys? Are you here for Roxas's birthday party? You're a bit early by…six months."

"Foolish non-existent worm. We are the Monkey See Monkey Kick Butt Ninja Monkeys for Banana Business Inc., or in short, Banana Ninja Monkeys." The leader of the ninja monkeys said hitting Demyx with a fruit. "And I'm Mr. Chips Ahoy and Doritos! Leader and head of kick butt department.

"Those are long names."

Saix stomped at the door and stared at all the monkeys. "Hey…you're not the Pinky Dinky's Pig Pizza man."

"No! We are the Monkey See Monkey Kick Butt Ninja Monkeys for Banana Business Inc.!"

"Or Banana Ninja Monkeys for short." A skinny monkey said.

"Thank you Mr. Lime in the Coconut and Banana Juice. Now, where is Xemnas-" Saix hugged Mr. CAD (Chips Ahoy and Doritos). "Are you my pop pop?"

"What?" Demyx and Mr. CAD said.

"When I was human mom said I was part ninja monkey." Awkward, cricket chirping, wolf howling, silence.

"How?" Demyx asked.

"Enough! I am not your pop pop so let go or else!"

* * *

"ACHOO!" Axel sneezed. Axel got a cold, probably from the date sabotage chase (in our last chappie) when going from desert Agrabah to cold Christmas Town to hot and tropical Destiny Islands. Naminé was giving Axel medicine and Roxas was holding a carton of orange juice.

"Don't worry Axel. We'll help you get better. We got a doctor." Naminé said putting a stuffed Fire Moomba next to Axel.

"Who? Doctor Seuss?"

"No. Dr. Ludro."

"Who the hell is he?"

At that moment Luxord busted in with a doctor costume. "Make way! Dr. Ludro is here!"

"WAIT A MINUTE! HE AIN'T A DOCTOR!"

"Stop sweating the small stuff, buddy. You'll do fine." Roxas grabbed Naminé and ran out of Axel's pyro addicting room.

"Now, you have a cold correct?"

"Yeah, dumbass."

"This calls for my personal assistant! Nurse Lerena!"

"Oh! A nurse? Is she blonde? Looks like a swimsuit model? Starred in that Stacy's Mom music video?"

The door slowly opened with a creaking noise. In the nurse outfit was Larxene. Background horror music and lightening played when Axel saw her. He saw a creepy grin on her face and she was holding something behind her back.

"THE HELL! GET ME OUTTA HERE! SHE'LL KILL ME!"

"Lerena, implement the knock out." Larxene hit Axel on the head with a giant mallet. "I mean the gas."

* * *

"_The seaweed is always greener_

_In somebody else's lake._

_You dream about going up there-"_

Siruxa stopped singing and saw a cute adorable mouse lemur (the cute little animal in Madagascar. Remember Mort? So cute!). She couldn't help to look at it and cuddled it.

"Awww, what a cute tiny monkey." Then she looked down and saw a dozen more of them. "Whoa. Where did they come from? Oh well." Siruxa put down the lemur and tried to walk away when she saw a huge monkey in front of her.

"Uh, hi. Can I go through?" The monkey screamed in her face and didn't move. "Uh-huh. Well, I'll just teleport. No problem." Siruxa teleported into the kitchen, but it was dark.

"Ugh, great. Xaldin! Turn the light back on! I don't care if you're in your mood again! Oh wait, we got a clapper." Siruxa clapped her hands and the room lit up, but the room was full of ninja monkeys. She clapped her hands again and ran out screaming.

"For the last time Saix. Ninja monkeys don't exist. You watched too much Kim Possible." Zexion said trying to avoid Saix.

"But it's true! My brothers are here to help me from this prison and we will rule the world under Banana Split Smoothie Jr.!"

"And who would that be?"

"My human name translated to Ninja Monkey code." Saix said.

"Look. I know you're not part ninja monkey because your mom said that as an excuse for your crazy behavior. She just didn't have the heart, no pun intended, to tell you."

"Mommy lied to me?"

"Yes."

Saix started getting tearful and ran crying. "Zexy how could you!"

"How could I not. Finally he's gone." Zexion started to watch an old detective movie and eat an apple.

"Heyzexioncan'ttalktoyourightnowthereareninjamonkeys!" Siruxa said running so fast that the hair covering Zexion's eye flipped to the other side, but right back into place. He knew what she said.

"For the last time! There are no ninja-" Zexion gets run over by the ninja monkeys and looks up from the floor. "-monkeys."

KHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKH

Siruxa kept running until she got to Xigbar's shooting arena he got for his birthday. She panted and stopped breathing when she saw the cute little mouse lemurs.

"Hey…you're with those ninja monkeys aren't you?"

The little monkeys started making huge big puppy dog eyes and quivering their lips.

"I'm not falling for that."

Then, in their last resort, they play the chicken dance.

"I'm really serious."

They stopped. "Oh no! She saw through our plan!"

One of the cute little monkeys put on a captain hat and played the "Charge!" tune on a trumpet, normal sized.

"MUSHY BANANA CHIBI NINJA MONKEYS ATTACK!"

"YAY!" The cute monkeys yelled and started to scurry to the femme shadow Nobody.

"Darn it! Dad was right about cute chibi ninja monkeys!"

* * *

In Xemnas's room, there was lightening and organ music playing. In the background there was crazy laughter of a mad man and the mad man happened to be Xemnas. Who knew he had some musical talent. Too bad the song was a tune for a baseball game.

"HEY! KEEP IT DOWN!" Vexen yelled. Boy…that's one heck of a voice box. Xemnas pouted and stopped playing the organ music.

"Doesn't matter. As soon those ninja monkeys take that Siruxa into custody, she'll be in jail for all of eternity! And the Organization XIII will be 13! Mwahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha!"

"Hey shut up with your crappy evil laugh! I'm dying of a cold and a sadistic, yet somewhat attractive in some cases, electric Blondie!" Axel yelled. "No! Not the needle! Anything but that!"

"Hmmm. Remind me to fix up the sound system in this place, got it Marluxia?"

Marluxia, who has been ignored, stopped making mustache and glasses faces on all of Xemnas's pictures.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Whatever. I still want my castle though!"

"No! After Castle Oblivion and the Fairy Princess Castle Convention no more castles!"

"You just hate me because I'm beautiful and you like the closet!" Marluxia marched off and stuck his tongue out at Xemnas.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

* * *

"Duuude! There are tons of ninja monkeys in the castle!" Xigbar told Xaldin and Lexaeus, who were in a heated game of thumb wrestle.

"Xigbar, you said that last time and it ended up being old people crossing the street. Do you know how much money we had to pay for destroying all the tapioca?"

"But they're true! They're as true as Jaws, Santa Clause, Kingdom Hearts, the Great Pumpkin, Maleficent's claustrophobia, and the Loch Ness Monster!"

"Exactly, they are not true."

"Actually, Xaldin, I saw Santa Clause…I broke his foot. Kingdom Hearts is real. The Great Pumpkin is the growing carriage for Cinderella, and Maleficent is claustrophobic. And Jaws was actually released from Atlantica prison on an order of a strict vegetarian diet. And the Loch Ness Monster almost took my swim shorts on vacation. My advice: don't wear dinosaur print."

Xigbar jumped up and down and pointed at Xaldin, who was trying to find his center and thinking of chocolate. Lexaeus turned around and tilted his head to the side.

"Ninja monkeys are chasing Siruxa."

"THERE ARE NO SUCH THINGS AS NINJA MONKEYS!" Xaldin screamed.

"Run for your life!" Siruxa yelled running toward them. She kept running until she saw Vexen with his prized tapioca pudding. She made a sharp right and the monkeys bumped into Vexen. And the pudding was sent flying in the air. Everything was slow motion until the pudding crashed on the floor.

Vexen stared at the poor ruined pudding and fire of darkness was in his eyes.

"YOU LITTLE RASCALS AND YOUR HOOLIGANISM STOP RIGHT NOW!"

Everyone immediately rushed to the scene and the monkeys were confused. One monkey tried to take a spoonful of pudding, but Vexen froze its hand. "Don't…touch…my…pudding…"

"This calls for my memoir lecture!" At that sound all the tiny mouse lemurs cried and everyone started to hug each other as the lecture, the war of the worlds, the big Mac, the day after tomorrow, began.

"It all started when I was two. I liked all the big kids and their bicycles. Papa said no no no. You'll stick with the box…"

(7 excruciating and tormenting hours later)

"…and that, children, is the lesson of the day." Vexen said with a smile on his face. Everyone was asleep and the monkeys were knocked out because they never heard someone talk as long and boring. The chibi ninja monkeys were on the floor napping with tiny bananas as stuffed animals.

Roxas woke up with drool on his face and had a nightcap on his head. "Can we go now?"

"Xemnas we are unfortunately not able to do the task. We quit. Give us the 30,000 munny." Mr. CAD said with his hand out.

"WHAT FOR?"

"It's 30,000 munny for service and 30,000 after service is done. We've got bills to pay."

"Take that to your momma!" All the monkeys stared at Xemnas with murder in their eyes. "Um…I'll get the munny!"

"CHARGE!" The tiny ninja monkeys yelled in joy and all the monkeys chased Xemnas out the castle. Siruxa scratched her head and turned to her friends.

"Should we help him?"

There was a moment of silence. "Heck no!"

* * *

A/n: Ninja Monkeys are not owned by me! Got it! If I did own them, they would be ninja monkeys who fight crime for the sake of humanity and bananas.

Demyx: Send your love by reviews!

Riku: And don't ever screw up Vexen's tapioca pudding.

Axel: He's serious peoples.

Zexion:…I'm never getting out of here, am I?

Me: Nope.


	14. Chapter 14

A/n: Howdy!

Axel: Why are you a cow girl all of a sudden?

Demyx: Wait, I thought today was Buzz Lightyear Day. Where's Zexy?

Author Person: No, that is Saturday. And Zexion said he had an appointment.

Riku: I think he lied to you.

Axel: How about Give The Disclaimer Or Else Feel The Burn Day?

Author Person: Okay, but it's a long name. I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything in this chapter owned by the super rich people. If I ruled the world, I would have 5 moogles of every type. If I ruled the world, every fruit would be ripe. I can't make good rhyming stuff.

* * *

Chapter 14

"Xemnas, why did you yell at me, Xigbar, Vexen, and Luxord to get here?" Xaldin asked the weirdly, Wild West Xemnas Saix.

"Because we're gonna dance!"

"We're not doing a ballet/western/musical again are we?" Luxord asked crossing his crossed fingers that were already crossed with another finger.

"Nope. Pappy!" An old western fiddler ran in with a small band. "Kick it! Everyone get a partner! Then," Xemnas put a straw rag doll of a country girl, "hit it!"

"One, two, three, hoedown hit it!" The music for Cotton Eye Joe started and Xigbar decided to try and run. But Xaldin hit him with a jug and he was unconscious.

"Big baby, and he's my superior…" Xaldin said doing the dance.

A minute of the song lasted and a new tune played. "Swing yer partner 'round 'n 'round!"

"SQUARE DANCING TIME!" Xemnas said square dancing with Saix. Out of no where after the end of the song, the doll floated and green lightening surrounded it. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!"

The doll slowly floated down and stood up. "Hi I'm Sunflower Sue. Will you play with me?"

"No time! I've got a very eeevil plan! You will scare Siruxa out of her Organization cloak and out of here! We will bring you to her room…I'm so evil."

"Wow, Xemnas is a bigger mad scientist nutcase than you Vexen." Luxord said staring at the doll.

* * *

Xemnas tiptoed from wall to wall to get to Siruxa's room. Right before the door, he tripped and hurt his nose. He quickly got up as if someone was watching him. He knocked on the door and dropped the doll and ran. The door opened, but it was Panda Bob. And he was hungry.

"Um…nice panda…really cute…panda…" S.S said cowering from the drooling, famished panda. It tried to bite her and she ran for dear life. She ran past Marluxia, who was drinking a milkshake, and had the panda on her trail. Marluxia looked in his shake and threw it away.

S.S kept running until she bumped into the back of someone's leg. She looked up and saw Demyx and became lifeless like a doll. Demyx saw the doll and picked it up.

"What a neat doll. This is probably Naminé's…" Demyx saw Panda Bob sitting right in front of him looking at the doll. "No Panda Bob. You can't eat the doll. Remember when you ate Lexaeus's shorts? Yeah, dolls taste that bad."

"Excuse me?" S.S asked Demyx. She creepily turned her head to her back and faced Demyx. "You shouldn't make fun of dolls Demyx, or we will play with you."

"…Hey you can talk!"

"Of course I can. Now…where's Siruxa?"

"She said she was going to go to Olympus Coliseum to steal Hercules's stuffed lamb he had since he was little. Someone said he always hugs it before a match and that it would cost 5,000,000 munny on the internet!"

"I don't think you should have said that."

"What are you gonna do? Kill me like Chucky?"

S.S sighed. "First of all, Chucky has a twin brother doll name Bucky. He plays Chucky in the movies. The real Chucky works as a midget clown sidekick for a kid birthday party entertainer name Silly Bow Joe and makes a minimum wage of 50 dollars."

There was awkward silence and Panda Bob decided to chew on the couch. Demyx looked around the doll for any buttons or strings to make the doll talk. Then he squeezed a hand and the doll cried and slapped him so hard he lost grip of S.S.

"I can talk on my own dumbass! Now to find Siruxa."

* * *

Lexaeus was doing house cleaning and went in Axel's room. "Ooooh, this is such a big mess! Time to take care of it in a snap!" Lexaeus snapped his fingers and everything cleaned itself. The magic snap-it's-a-wrap technique is brought to you by Mary Poppins's Nanny Lessons.

Lexaeus saw something sticking under the door of Axel's closet. "What's this?" Lexaeus tugged it out and put the object, apparently a shirt, back in the closet. But, what he saw shocked him.

"I knew it! I knew Axel had-" Lexaeus got hit and K.O'd in the head by a robot fire moomba. Axel's got pretty good security systems. The robo moomba dragged the unconscious Silent Hero and shut Axel's room and went back in the mysterious closet. Axel went back to his room and found the robo fire moomba waiting in the closet for more intruders.

"Don't worry little guy, there's no way any one will find out about my little secret. If they do, they won't live to tell it. Got it memorized?"

* * *

"Teeheehee…this plan will work. I bet that girl is still here. That guy must be covering up for her. He can be a crafty one (S.S, that's the opposite of Demyx). Now…to wait for my fox to land on the bear trap."

S.S was hiding behind a flower pop holding a string with something tied to the string up in the air. It was, dum dum dum, Xemnas's Homemade Apple Pie (the moment these words were typed on this very computer lightening and a huge blizzard appeared outside)! S.S heard footsteps and got ready to let go of the string. She saw the black booted clad feet and let go! But, the pie landed on someone else besides S.S's target. It's worse than evil Ansem, Maleficent, and Saix combined. It was: Larxene.

Larxene had a super disgusted face of getting hit on by Axel again and finding mushrooms on her pizza and her lack of chocolate during that time of month. As if she had living life radar, she threw the flower pot out her way and found S.S lifeless. She took the doll and looked at it hard.

"I know you're alive, doll. I can see your hands moving to cross your fingers. No matter, I'll take care of you…You know the Scarecrow of the Wizard of Oz? Let's say he lost more than weight."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!" S.S yelled being carried away by the sadistically entertained Larxene. Poor S.S was brought to Larxene's room and strapped to a table. Larxene dimmed the lights and her pet Jaws was smiling horrifically in his tank.

"Now, to summon my evil monkeys. Evil Flying Monkeys!" The blue winged flying monkeys (I disclaim the monkeys from Wizard of Oz) came in and were jumping around. "Remember the guy without the brain? You can play with this cute little doll…made of straw."

As soon as she said the word straw, the monkeys were pushing each other to rip the poor doll. But, S.S was not only a Mischief Doll made by creepy yet funny magic, she is a great magician. She used a rope trick to get off the table and she ran out of the room. Larxene sensed her prey had escaped.

"No one escapes my torture, no one! Flying Monkeys! Search and destroy that doll on sight!"

* * *

Meanwhile at Olympus Coliseum…

Siruxa was hiding in a fake stone block at the Coliseum Lobby with a replica of Hercules's stuffed lamb and dressed in the Greek robes. "Where is that muscle man and that dumb lamb? I'm starting to sweat in here."

"HERC! YOUR MATCH IS IN 5! WARM UP! REMEMBER RULE #15: PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT!" (I have no idea what rule is number 15, but who cares). "REMEMBER THESE THREE IMPORTANT WORDS: STRENGHT, BRAINS, DEFENSE, AND STATE OF MIND."

"That's six words. Dumb fat satyr."

"Okay Phil!" Hercules looked around the whole room for any other person in there. Then, he pulled out his lucky lamb. "I know you're one of my favorite fans, right Lamby?"

"Oh brother. This guy's a woos. Hades is partially right for him being a loser." Hercules continued to cuddle the lamb and in the last minute he warmed up for his match. Then when it was time, he hid the lamb behind the fake boulder Siruxa was in. As soon as he left, she got out the boulder and switched the lambs. She popped out the boulder and put the lamb in her backpack.

"Success!"

"Hey! You look like fighting material…" Phil said behind her. Siruxa turned around and looked to see if he was talking to anyone else.

"Me?"

"Yes you. How about competing in the tournament. That spiky-haired kid has a cold so his spot is empty. Good riddance. So are you in?"

"I don't know…"

"You get 300,000 munny and this solid platinum trophy the shape of Mt. Olympus."

"Deal! Time to kick some sorry ass. Who's my first opponent?"

"Match 1: Ice Titan vs. Siruxa!"

"Huh?" Siruxa saw the Ice Titan and weakly laughed. "Hey…how's the weather up there? Chilly?" (Get it? Ice Titan and Chilly? Come on…okay fine. But it's funny!)

* * *

S.S ran and hid in a room. She checked her surroundings and found guns, weapons, ammo, and a surfboard or two and the other half is dull and there is a fake glowing rose in a small plastic cover. She opened the door slightly and saw a sign that said "III: The Whirlwind Lancer" and "Xigbar's Hang Out Spot" in purple crayon.

Then, something caught her eye. It looked like a rocket made by a 10 year old for a science fair. It had a remote control lying right next to it. And…it had glittery dinosaur stickers on it. S.S's personality was unfortunately made by Xemnas. And what distracts him the most besides Dora the Explorer and bicycle wheels? Glittery stickers of animals.

"Gliiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttteeeeeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Sttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccckkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrsssssssss……"

S.S was zombified by the power of glitter and took the controller. She started playing with the buttons and found a big red button. Number 2 on S.S and Xemnas Distraction List is: Big red buttons (There is this fun game on the internet where you keep pushing the red button even though the message voice guy says things to not make you push the button when you push the button…So funny! Heheh…I disclaim the big red button thing just in case…randomness…).

"Reeeeeeeeeeeddddddddddd Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn…" She pushed the red button and the rocket shot up and went under her, causing S.S to fall on the rocket and ride it (Blast off!).

Xaldin was about to open his door until S.S and the rocket shot and made a hole through the door. Xaldin looked at the hole and the trail of rainbow smoke from the rocket.

"FAERIES…I gotta stop eating chocolate today…WHAT AM I SAYING? EAT CHOCOLATE AND HUNT FAERIES, STOP EATING CHOCOLATE LATER!" Xaldin took out an old fashioned butterfly net. "ALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" He yelled his war cry and followed the trail of smoke.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" S.S yelled. But, Jinx the chat held a thick metal block and it stopped and broke the rocket. S.S looked at the cat and it said only one word: "Meow." And Jinx stuck her (she's a girl cat in case no one knew) and went to eat tuna.

"Found you!" Demyx grabbed her and smiled. "I heard Larxene was looking for you. Don't worry, I told her that you were at Toys 'R Us. Wait…she'll decapitate every doll in front of little kids…oh well. That happens every week."

"Demy I'm back!" Siruxa said. She had a big platinum trophy and bags of munny.

"Hey what did you do?"

"Won a tournament and more money. Now we can go to Atlantica! Is that a doll?"

S.S jumped off and looked serious. "I finally found you! Prepare to face your imminent doom! I will finally be Head Mischief Doll!"

Siruxa just picked up S.S and put her in a summoned shadow puddle and dropped her in it, with S.S screaming and shaking her fist.

"Where will she go?"

"The perfect home."

* * *

S.S landed on a doorstep lifeless and a girl was in front of her. She picked it up and brought the doll inside.

"Sora! Riku! I found the cutest doll!"

Sora looked at the doll and poked it. "Looks stupid."

"That's mean! Fine, you'll watch her until I get back from shopping with Selphie!" Kairi stormed out and left the boys behind.

"I'm gonna sleep on the couch." Riku got to the couch and immediately fell asleep. Sora took the doll and put it facing away from him.

"Stupid doll…"

"You shouldn't call dolls stupid." S.S's head rotated to face Sora. "I'm Sunflower Sue. Will you play with me?"

"Riku?" Sora said. S.S was coming closer and had a creepy face and laugh. Riku didn't stir in his sleep. "RIKU!"

* * *

A/n: Wow…that doll is cuckoo.

Riku: A cuckoo doll in a story made by a cuckoo author.

Demyx: Hey! I found a doll!"

Axel: You dumbass! That's S.S!

Me: Um…send your reviews before we are facing our doom by the adorably crazy S.S…please?

S.S: Do you want to play?

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


	15. Chapter 15

A/n: Crappy computer, it blocked the freaking website! Sorry for the delay.

Demyx! That doll could've killed us! Luckily, Zexion came to save the day!

Demyx: Sorry. T-T

Zexion: Can I leave now?

Me: Only if you give the disclaimer.

Zexion: Author doesn't own Kingdom Hearts. If she did, we would be doomed.

Me: That's not true…Can I have a hug? Pwitty pwease? (Gives puppy dog look)

Zexion: Fine. But only for three seconds. (Gives me a hug) Bye.

Riku: What was that for?

Me: I got Zexy's keys to his bachelor pad and his Ferrari. I can get his stuff and sell them on the internet to crazy Zexion fans.

Axel: I call Shotgun!

* * *

Chapter 15

"This plan should work. We'll make Siruxa fall in love with someone else besides Demyx, he'll be a baby, and kick her out!" Xemnas said adding chocolates to a bubbling pot.

"What makes you think he'll kick her out? Water boy's not that tough." Saix said giving Xemnas a Valentine's Day card.

"Someone will be disguised as Demyx, me!" Xemnas put in the last ingredient: A huge Valentine teddy bear. There was pink smoke coming out the pot and the potion was ready. "Vexen, what do I do to make it work?"

"Give it to Siruxa in a glass to make it look like Strawberry Milk, or serve it to her in anything she can eat or drink that looks pink. Make sure the first person or picture of a person she sees is the one you want."

"Saix! Give me the available contestants!" Saix took out a stack of photos. The first picture was of Sora. "Too young and he's taken." The next was Riku. "Available…and good looking…but too young." Next was Cid. "Dude, he's too old." Next was Cloud. "Look, he's already got Aerith and Tifa doing cat fights to get him." Next was Sephiroth. "Maybe…"

Thunder cracked and fire erupted. "NO! SEPHIROTH IS TO REMAIN SINGLE! THAT'S MY RULE! Continue."

"…As the scary author says, he stays single." The next photo was of Leon. "Isn't that ninja girl after him?" Saix shrugged. "Very well…if he doesn't work, there's always one of us, except me of course."

"Is it because you're g-" Xemnas hits Saix on the head with his own Claymore. "Never...mind..."

* * *

Siruxa was watching a horror movie with Larxene and was bored. "Come on! Everyone knows that a killer that has been in pretty much every sequel of the movie that you have to blow him up or destroy his brain!"

"I know. That's why they put stupid characters in the movies."

"Siruxa!" Saix said with a creepy fake grin.

"Did you forget to have your Flintstones vitamins today?"

"No. Here's some strawberry milk!" Saix gave her the potion and ran off.

"…I don't like strawberry milk. You want some Larx?" Larxene shrugged and had some of the potion/milk. "I'm gonna get pop corn." She walked off and was ambushed by a picture of Leon.

"What the heck?" She looked at the photo and was confused. "Probably one of Xemnas's fantasy photos or whatever his hobby is…"

Saix was hiding behind a big potted plant and saw the plan failed. He took out a walkie talkie and turned it on. "Rabid Dingo to Fluffy Bunny. I repeat, Rabid Dingo to Fluffy Bunny. The fox didn't eat the hare. Over."

"What? Who was in the room with her? Over." Xemnas said on the other line.

Just then Saix heard something and got out the way of the potted plant. He saw Larxene trying to get a piggy back ride from…Marluxia. "I love you Mar-Mar!" (Uh-oh. Larxene using pet names…Twilight Zone…).

"Get off psycho bitch!"

"Awww, maybe a kiss to make it better…" Larxene gave Marluxia a huge, make-out kiss and Saix went blind. Marluxia broke away and ran. "Wait! How about we talk about our new apartment?" She ran after him.

"Rabid Dingo to Ancient Ice Pop. We need more batches of the potion. Over."

Siruxa walked in with pop corn, but no one was here. "Oh well. Gotta find Jinx anyway."

* * *

"Jinx! Come on and get out. You know that you can't find birds to eat here!"

Marluxia stormed in and bolted the door with furniture. "Hide me! Larxene…is in love with me!"

"Ouch…What do you want me to do?"

"Siruxa?" Vexen appeared behind her. "How about some pink lemonade?" Vexen gave it to her and disappeared.

"Ohhhh, pink lemonade!" Marluxia took it and was dazed. Then, Axel appeared in front of him.

"Okay flower princess. I need some flowers to replace Naminé's because I sort of burned them in the heat of anger of dying in Call of Duty. Can you help me out?"

"Anything you want, Sugar…" Siruxa, being creeped out by those words, teleported out. Axel, ran through the wall and ran past Larxene. Marluxia chased after Axel and Larxene chased after Marluxia.

Vexen saw the commotion and took out the walkie talkie. "Ancient Ice Pop to Cowboy Surfer. Prepare the sweat treat. Over."

* * *

Siruxa looked in the kitchen for a snack and found Xigbar holding out a cupcake with pink frosting on top. "How about a cupcake miss dude-ette?"

"Right…sure." Before she took a bite, Axel zoomed past her and took the cupcake.

"Thanks, Ruxy, I need as much sugar to avoid flower pansy." He bit into it and saw Roxas pass by to get lunch. "Oh Roxas…" Roxas turned around and saw Axel trying to make a move on him by touching his face and chest! Then...smooch!

"Dude!" Roxas ran and screamed. "Naminé! Help!" Axel chased Roxas, Marluxia chased Axel, and Larxene chased Marluxia. Siruxa walked away with a bag if Lays potato chips and tried to find a place to be alone. Xigbar took the walkie talkie and talked into it.

"Cowboy Surfer to Picasso Chick. Over."

"Xigbar, why do I have a walkie talkie and a code name? Over."

"Naminé, just give Siruxa the strawberry flavored ice cream! Over."

* * *

Siruxa was in Naminé's room having some cookies. "Thanks for letting me in Naminé. Everyone is giving me food and acting weird. I guess it's because the pink food reminds them of Marluxia."

"Maybe…How about some ice cream?"

"Pink…ok are you in on this?"

"Xemnas said that if I didn't help, he would make me watch piglets and baby bunnies get attacked by a mad rabid German Shepherd and those tall Pit bulls."

"…Oo-kaay…"

Roxas burst in and shook Naminé by her arms. "NAMINÉ HELP! YOU WERE RIGHT! AXEL IS OBSESSED WITH ME! WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO YOU AND THAT ROBO MOOMBA?" Roxas saw the ice cream and had a hungry look on his face. "Ooooh, strawberry ice cream…"

"Roxas don't eat that!" Naminé yelled as Roxas had a bite of the ice cream. He saw Naminé and hugged her tight.

"I love you Naminé."

"Um…Roxas?" Even though Naminé looks stunned, we'll take a look at the part of her mind that is energetic and seeks adventure: "HELL YES! ROXAS IS MINE! TAKE THAT AXEL! AND YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS XIGBAR!"

"To show my love, I'll give you this bite of ice cream that represents our love." (Wow…food representing love. What's next, chicken nuggets represented as a wedding ring?). Roxas gave Naminé some of the ice cream and Zexion teleported in her room. She saw him…and wham.

"Naminé, Xemnas wants you to go to his 'office' or whatever and get the new assignment."

"ZEXY-KINS!" (WTF? Zexy-kins? Zexion is too cool for that wimpy nickname!). Naminé grabbed his waist and gave him a big hug.

"Naminé…you missed an episode of Sponge Bob Square Pants didn't you?"

"Nope! Besides, I was too busy thinking about you and me…and our wedding!" (Everyone spits out their drinks and there is the riot that can only happen in the apocalypse).

"Hey! Keep your hands off my woman!" Roxas tried to pull Naminé away from Zexion, but that girl is stronger than anyone thought. But Axel busted in and Zexion exited stage right with Naminé strapped to his waist. "Get back here Zexion!"

"Roxy!" Axel said finding him.

"Axy!" Marluxia chased.

"Mar-Mar!" Larxene yelled after him with a baseball bat with nails sticking out (that won't help to get him Larxene!).

Siruxa was left alone and she found Panda Bob eating bamboo and staring at where the series of weird events took place.

"I know Panda Bob. They do need Dr. Phil and Oprah."

* * *

"Damn it Naminé! Get off!" Zexion was trying to shake her off in vain while Luxord and Xaldin were watching a soap opera.

"But I love you! What about the honeymoon? And I thought we were going to have kids!" (There is a rain of fire and a huge blizzard. Panic ensues at reality). Luxord dropped his glass of water and Xaldin threw away his bar of chocolate when the words "honeymoon" and "kids" were said from Naminé in reference with her and Zexion.

"This is because of some stupid potion Vexen cooked up! We gotta find the antidote. What are you doing?"

Naminé was looking at a huge list. "If we have a boy, we should name him after your first name, Ienzo. That sounds cute."

Zexion sighed and started to hit his head against the wall. Vexen rushed in. "Zexion! I heard that Naminé and Roxas were also victims of the potion. Don't worry; I have the antidote and the potion in this."

Lexaeus, in a chef outfit, pushed in a huge cake in pink frosting on a cart.

"A cake that we will give to Siruxa. We'll say it's a gift from…um…the Girl Scouts!"

"They make cookies, genius." Zexion said slapping his head with his palm.

"Wow, a cake." Siruxa looked at the cake with a twinkle in her eye. "Can I have a piece?"

"Go ahead." Vexen dragged her to the cake and she took some frosting on her finger. She was about to taste it when Demyx crashed through on a skate board.

"Sweet! Cake!" Demyx was running toward the cake, but Zexion pulled his leg out and tripped him. "Ow! Zexy what was that for?"

"For being an idiot."

"Hey, be nice to Demy, okay?" Siruxa touched the corner of Zexion's mouth with the frosting covered finger. "Oops, you should lick that off."

"DON'T DO IT!"

Larxene bashed through the wall with the bat looking for Marluxia. "WHERE IS HE?" Zexion felt that his lips were chapped and licked them, forgetting about the frosting, and accidentally licked the frosting and was bitten by the joo-joo love bug of the potion. He saw Larxene and took her hand and bent on his knee. Everyone part of this crazy love circle ran in chasing or being chased.

"Larxene, you are a crazy but graceful angel from the great heavens above. I'm asking you now…I know this is one of your favorite foods…" Zexion took out a cup full of chicken nuggets (Yay I'm psychic! how ironic this is…). "Larxene, will you go out with me and when I get the money for a beautiful black diamond ring fit for a queen like you, will you marry me?" (THE WORLD IS IN TOTAL CHAOS!).

"No. My heart belongs to Marluxia."

"Sorry Blondie. But I'm with Axel."

"In your dreams, flower boy. Roxas is my boy."

"…Hell no. Naminé's my dream girl."

"Sorry Roxas, but I love Zexion."

"ENOUGH!" A beam of light was shining down in the center of the room. Xemnas and Saix ran in to see if the diabolical plan worked.

"Up there! It's a chocobo!" Lexaeus said pointing.

"No it's a gummi ship!" Xigbar pointed two fingers at it, thinking he has a better advantage. What great intelligence.

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE!" A moogle gently floated down and made a cute and awesome pose.

"It's a moogle!" Everyone said.

"Who were you expecting, the tooth fairy? I am the author, having taken the form of this adorable moogle thanks to Vexen's mind swap machine!"

"Wait, then who's writing this chapter?" Demyx asked scratching his head.

"…That is top secret. Anyway, I have the antidote! It is…Sour Skittles! When sour meets sweet, the sweet dies down. Cool metaphor huh? To do this, I got my Skittles pellet machine gun thing-a-ma-jig." I unveil the cutely designed invention and dumped a pack of Sour Skittles into the funnel thingy. I got in the chair with the controls and started to fire the Sour Skittles in the mouths of the love sick Nobodies. Of course no one can resist the Skittles, but having those little candies flying at you at the speed of a slingshot pebble wears the charm off.

After a couple of minutes shooting crazily, the Nobodies had the Skittles and were back to normal. "My job is done. Now I must be off!" I threw a tiny smoke bomb, but it disappeared quickly and everyone knew that I climbed a rope to a hole in the ceiling.

"What the hell was that?" Saix asked looking through the hole of the ceiling.

"I don't know and I don't care. Now…Xemnas, eat this!" Siruxa threw a piece of cake at Xemnas, and some got in his mouth and he swallowed it. Siruxa held a full length mirror and Xemnas fell in love with…himself.

"Well…are you free tonight?" Everyone left the room with every potion-contaminated food and threw them out the window. Poor Xemnas, but wasn't he partially in love with himself? Oh well.

* * *

A/n: I just got back from the lab after being a moogle! I wanna do it again! Yay!

Riku: Zexion called and wants his stuff back or he'll release all of hell.

Demyx: He can't do that.

Axel: Um…I kinda made a dent in the Ferrari.

Me: Doesn't matter! Send a review and you can get Zexion's king-sized bed, his clothing collection, his lucky boxers, and lots more!


	16. Chapter 16

A/n: Come a knock on my door! We've been waiting for you! And…what are the rest of the words?

(Boys shrug)Demyx: Can we have pizza?

Riku: No peppers on my pie. Or else…

Axel: No! Peppers to make it spicy!

Demyx: She no own KH or any company labeled stuff. Now…I want anchovies on my pizza!

Author person: Good grief.

* * *

Chapter 16

"Man I'm hungry. Least we have the week off." Roxas said playing his PSP. Ever since the love potion in food incident, Xemnas has been in love with himself, more than usual, and everyone had a unanimous decision of 16 to 0, including the cat and Panda Bob, that Xemnas will stay like that until an emergency occurs. Roxas gets up to grab the phone and dials the number for Pizza Hut (don't own Pizza Hut).

"Yeah, I want 2 pies of extra cheese, 3 pies of chicken, 1 anchovies, 1 pepper, 2 pepperoni, and 1 spinach. And bring 3 big bottles of Pepsi and Sierra Mist."

30 minutes later…

"Where…the…heck…is the…piz…za…?" Roxas said crawling to the refrigerator. He opened the door and a box of frozen waffles falls on his head. "Ouch."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKK!" There was a loud shriek and Roxas lazily got up. Instead of running, he took his sanguine and rode to the source of the noise. He saw everyone, except Xemnas, in the room looking at a dead pizza guy and a fallen stack of pizzas. "HE'S DEAD!" Naminé screamed and ran to Roxas.

"This was no accident…" Zexion checked the body with light green latex gloves. "Someone pushed him off the stairs and he unfortunately fell on his head."

"It is murder!" Demyx yelled trying to point out the true, yet obvious, truth.

"One of us killed him…gang, it looks like we have a Clue murder mystery on our hands." Xigbar said pointing to the sky.

"You copied that off of Scooby-Doo, except for the Clue part." Xaldin hit him over the head. "We'll split up the teams. Saix and Vexen…"

"Why do I have to be with the mad scientist?"

"Just shut up. Roxas, Naminé, and Lexaeus go in one group. Zexion, Axel, and Marluxia in the second group."

"There's no way in hell that I'm in a team with flower boy. I still didn't forget that creepy potion thing Mr. Freeze over here made. Got it memorized?"

"Too bad. Demyx, Siruxa, and Larxene in the third group. Lastly, me, Xigbar, and Luxord. Remember, the killer could probably not be one of us. It could be a crazed serial killer bent on the extermination of food deliverers everywhere. We will catch the killer, or die trying!"

Everyone already left as soon as he started the speech. "I knew no one would bother to listen. Come on guys, let's make sure that Xemnas hasn't been killed yet."

"Why do that?" Xigbar asked scratching his eye patch.

"Because he is our boss and he is the source of our pay check. Just because I have a casino in my room doesn't mean that I'll be rich forever."

"Why do you have a casino in your room?" Xaldin asked the gambler guy. Avoiding confrontation, he teleported out followed by his team. Meanwhile, the dead pizza guy woke up from unconsciousness.

"Ouch…that freakin' hurt. And where's that dude with the munny?"

* * *

Vexen and Saix looked around the hall where Xemnas's room was. Saix took out his Claymore and went on one side of the door. Vexen went on the other side and Saix counted to three. When he said three, he busted down the door and was ready to throw it.

"Freeze! You're under arrest bucko!" Vexen slapped Saix and pointed to the pretty calm room. Xemnas was at a table with the mirror and there were lit candles and full glasses.

"He is alright imbecile. Xemnas, did any one come in?"

"Nope. If someone did, then I wouldn't be able to enjoy my date with this handsome devil." (O.O) Yes, Saix and Vexen were very creeped out.

"You're sleeping on the couch now." Saix said.

Vexen looked at him and seemed confused. "What is that supposed to mean?" Saix ignored him and checked around the room. On a table he found a pack of Sour Skittles. He took a couple and made Xemnas eat it. He was still at first, but when he looked at the mirror and the table, he quickly got up.

"What in chocolate covered chocobos happened?"

"You ate some of the potion and you've been in love with yourself for a week. Now we have a murdered pizza guy in the castle and there is a crazy murderer in this place or it was one of us. Well, it has to be Saix."

"Hey! Why me?"

"Because you are the very few people here who is that mentally insane to kill an innocent Pizza Hut guy."

"But I was taking a therapeutic bubble bath and the time I was calm and dressed, I heard a scream."

The three guys were standing there thinking not knowing the killer, or the guy who put him unconscious, is so close yet so far. They were also thinking about Saix and bubble bath in the same sentence unless there was a "doesn't take" in it.

* * *

"Here, crazy guy, where are you?" Siruxa called with a flashlight in the dark storage room in the castle. The storage room is actually an attic, but Xemnas thought "dark storage room" would sound cooler.

"Is that a good idea?"

"Yep. It worked back in the Pride Lands. Except I almost got stampeded by rhinos, hyenas, and wildebeests."

"Well, you must be the best, and naïve, thief. This is the worst possible thing to do to find a crazy killer. It's best to threaten him with a way to kill him more painful than what he or she did."

Demyx was thinking and then he pointed his finger. "It was you!"

"Why me? I don't push people off the stairs. That's not my style. Torturing to death is so much cooler." Creeped out, cricket chirping silence. "Besides, I was feeding Jaws his meal. The live chickens were going bad."

There was a rustling somewhere and the two stopped. Siruxa took out her boomerang and was on guard. "Okay, come on out. If you do, we might not have to kick your ass."

The pizza guy walked out of a crate of old Christmas ornaments and was happy as Luxord in Vegas. "Thank goodness! Sane people. Yeah, someone ordered pizza…" But the three were scared that they thought the alive and well pizza guy was a zombie.

"DIE ZOMBIE DIE!" They hit him over the head with their flashlights and ran out the room. The pizza guy was once again unconscious.

* * *

Zexion is searching in a gummi ship that belongs to Xaldin. "Nothing in here. We checked every gummi ship and no one is hiding here."

"Well this sucks. I could be meeting hot chicks right now and I'm wasting my time with flower boy and Mr. Titanic trauma."

Marluxia slaps his forehead and murmurs a curse. "I so hate the guys here…"

"You don't have to try to date one of us Marluxia. There are more options than the Organization members. Besides, everyone, except maybe Xemnas or Saix, isn't available. And ask me and I'll dye your hair blue and scar your face like Freddy Krueger."

While Zexion was talking, a creepy black aura of darkness was swirling behind him and the eye under his hair was glowing red with creepy bloodlust. Well, that's too much scary and not enough funny, so…Marluxia goes in a fetal position, screams like a girl, and takes out a strawberry flavor Blow Pop and starts eating it. The aura that can make the toughest man cry goes away and Zexion walks past Axel in silence.

"I think Zexion was almost molested when Xemnas was Xehanort. That must be why he is emo." Axel says scratching his already messy hair.

"Same here. Hey, what's that thing? It looks like a-"

A slumping human-shaped figure slowly walked toward them, moaning. "Heeeeeeeellllllllpppp."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Marluxia and Axel scream and hug each other for dear life. The figure gets closer and the boys are shaking.

"Marluxia, no matter what I said…I always sort of liked you."

"Axel, I saw the secret in your closet. Not only do you have the hots for psycho bitch…it is also-"

"YOU LOOKED IN MY CLOSET?"

The figure came into view and it was the pizza guy. "Hey, did any of you order the pizza? The person owes me 7000 munny for them."

"Wait, you're alive?" Axel asks him. When the pizza guy nodded, Axel threw himself away from Marluxia. "What happened?"

"Well, some girl answered the door and offered to pay for the pizza. Then she-"

"Um…you guys, I think we're locked in the hangar. The key fell through the vent." Zexion tried to budge down the only door and only failed.

Marluxia picks up Axel to use him as a battering ram. Axel closes his eyes for the head-splitting pain. But luckily for him, his overly spiky and messy hair serves as a piece of protective head gear. His head hits the door, but the door doesn't fall.

"There is only one thing to do now…" Axel says. He starts banging on the door quickly and the others follow.

"GET US THE HELL OUTTA HERE! HELP US!!!!!!!!!!!!"

They kept banging on the door and yelling, but no one could hear them. To make it more pathetic, the adrenaline caused them to forget that they could teleport. Today would be a long, long, long, long, long, long, long day.

* * *

Lexaeus is whistling the Winnie the Pooh song and skipping down the hall with Roxas and Naminé behind him.

"Roxas, I have something to tell you…"

"Yeah in a minute. I have to find something to eat. Lexaeus can you get me a-"

Lexaeus hands Roxas a bag of guacamole Doritos and Roxas starts to munch on the green and yummy chips.

"Roxas…I'm a bad girl."

"Really..." Roxas started thinking and, as if he had Spidey senses, Lexaeus hits him on the head. "Nevermind..."

"I didn't mean to do it…I didn't mean to kill him. No…I've said too much." Naminé grabs a nearby vase and hits Roxas over the head with it. Lexaeus turns around, shocked, and points his finger at Naminé.

"Oh my god! You killed the pizza guy and Roxas! You bitch!" (disclaim this slightly changed well known statement).

Naminé looks like she is going to cry and runs away, trips on her face once, and keeps running. Lexaeus takes out his cell phone and dials speed dial number 3 (can you guess who?).

* * *

"Can we please start the investigation already instead of playing Go Fish?" Xaldin says with his hand to his head. He was forced to play Go Fish with Xigbar and Luxord or else they will melt his entire chocolate supply. Because he really loves chocolate, he couldn't say no. "Got any 6's Luxord?"

"Go Fish. Xigbar…any 2's?"

"Damn it! You keep taking my cards!" Xigbar throws his cards in the air and takes his guns out. He shoots the cards and destroys them into crispy chips (heh, gambling chips) and gently float down like tissues.

"My Mohegan Sun playing cards! You die now!" Luxord got in a Kung Fu stance and lightening shot behind him. Xigbar took a handkerchief that said "Die" and tied it around his forehead and fire appears.

As they were about to throw a punch each, a ringtone with the song "Helena" rang and Xaldin picked up his phone.

"Hello…Naminé's the killer? Right. Bye."

Xigbar stopped and picked his ear. "Wait a minute. Naminé, our Naminé, the Naminé who likes ponies and bunnies and draws and is afraid of barking Chihuahuas and would never hurt a living thing is a crazy pizza guy killer?"

"Yep."

Luxord scratches his head and thinks. "I knew she would kill someone someday…PAY UP XIGBAR!"

"YOU ALREADY TOOK 1250 MUNNY FROM ME IN GO FISH!"

* * *

Everyone is in the Hall of Empty Melodies and Lexaeus is holding the still unconscious, and hungry, Roxas. Xaldin is in the center of the group with a smoking pipe.

"Ladies and gentlemen, cat and panda, the killer is known!" Everyone gasps. "The killer…is…NAMINÉ!" More gasps. Naminé breaks down crying and everyone backs away from her.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! I was going to get the munny…but I didn't have enough! I was panicking and flailing my arms around in hysteria and I accidentally pushed him down the stairs!"

"Hey! Is anyone gonna pay for the pizza?" The pizza guy appears and walks with the pies. "That girl doesn't have enough cash, so one of ya'll have to pay! The bill is…7000 munny plus the 2000 munny in the injuries I have and 500 munny tip."

Everyone stares at him with doom on their face. "How the hell did you get here?" Siruxa shakes the guy from his shirt collar.

"I took the elevator."

Everyone has an evil grin and they start to beat the pizza guy senseless. He is unconscious, again again, and Siruxa sends him through a shadow puddle to Pizza Hut.

"NOW TO EAT!" Xemnas screams with a bib that has a baby pig on it.

"Hey…where's Axel, Marluxia, and Zexion?" Demyx asks. No one will ever know where the missing trio are.

* * *

The trio are tired and hitting the door like wussies. "We're never getting out of here…" Marluxia says sliding against the door.

"I want a nap." Zexion gets up away from the door and lies on the floor to sleep. Axel is holding his stomach and looking around.

"Damn I shouldn't have had those beans! I need the crapper now!" At the sound of those words, Marluxia and Zexion got up and beat on the door mercilessly.

"GET US THE FUCK OUTTA HERE NOW!"

* * *

A/n: Uh-oh. Clean up on isle 5.

Riku: Thank goodness I'm here.

Demyx: I would hate to be around Axel with that condition.

Axel: Guys…I ate some bad Chinese take-out. I need the bathroom.

Everyone besides Axel: O.O Read and review and you get pizza! (Get in a panic room with a TV, PS2, blankets, and refrigerator).


	17. Chapter 17

A/n: Yay! My computer can use again! Oh yeah…take it away guys!

Axel: Coming soon to a website near you…

Demyx: A new story will arrive. Drama, romance, comedy, suspense will make even the smartest person go dumb.

Riku: Starring Sora, Riku, Kairi, and two original characters made by authoress All4Riku, the new story, Scrapbook.

Me: Rated T for language, some themes, and other stuff I'm not sure of. But it's still T though! Anyway, on with this story! You know I keep my disclaimer every chapter right?

* * *

Chapter 17

Demyx snuck in with a huge and stuffed bag. He went in the game room and dropped the bag hard. He takes out a giant megaphone and took a very deep breath.

"RUXY, ZEXY, LARXENE, NAMINÉ, ROXAS, AXEL, LEXAEUS, SAIX, XIGBAR! CHECK THIS THING OUT NOW!"

They teleported in their pajamas and yawned. "What's wrong Demy?" Siruxa asks rubbing her purple eyes.

"I've got this!" Demyx takes out a game system that looks like the Playstation 3 and he also took out glowing head, hand, and foot gear. "A virtual reality game! I was able to get Final Fantasy VII with the game. Let's play!"

"Hold up, how the hell did you get a virtual reality game system and a game that is really popular if you can't afford to pay the rent?"

"You see, I know this guy from kindergarten who works at Subway with this girl who knew this gay guy from our high school whose dad was the gym teacher and baseball coach whose daughter was on the volleyball team who dated this guy who is a pilot who has a brother that works as a pizza boy who delivered pizza to this old lady whose son is a delivery man who gave mail to this guy who works at Blockbusters whose boss has a son who is a total video game expert and unknown maker and decided to give the game to me. Got it?"

Roxas's finger was pointing up in the air and had a confused face. "Who dated the volleyball girl again?"

"I told you. The girl who dated the pilot guy with the brother that works as a pizza boy who gave pizza to the old lady with the delivery man son who gave mail to the Blockbuster dude with the boss that has a video game expert and maker as a son."

"Ok I got it." He leaned to Naminé's ear. "I don't get it."

"I am not playing video games when I should be having my beauty sleep. If I don't sleep, I'll be ugly. And you don't want to see me ugly…"

"Too late for that, dude-ette." Larxene shoved Naminé's stuffed teddy bear into Xigbar's mouth and kicks him in the nuts.

"You get to kill stuff…" Demyx waved the game case in front of her face. Larxene and Saix glowed with joy when the words "kill" and "stuff" were mentioned. Everyone puts on the virtual gear and Demyx turns the game on.

"Alright, it's my game, so I'll be Sephiroth!"

"Heck no! You're too stupid to be Sephiroth. I wanna be Sephiroth!" Axel punched Demyx on the arm. Due to Demyx's lack of hand-eye coordination and balance, he trips and knocks the t.v a bit. Little did they know that the mystery wires of the game system were triggered and blue lightening flashed from the game. Everyone was blinded and they disappeared…into Final Fantasy VII!

* * *

"_I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves_

_Everybody's nerves_

_Everybody's nerves_

_I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves_

_And this is how it goes."_

Marluxia is just about to inhale when he hears a huge zap. He rushes to the room and sees Cloud, Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie, Aerith, Cid, Cait Sith, Barret, Red XIII, and Sephiroth in the room.

"OMG! THE FINAL FANTASY CHARACTERS!" He runs to them and bows like a toad (Heheh, toad…Mario Bros. toad…sings Mario theme song…sorry). "Please let me get your autograph!"

Sephiroth looks at everyone and breaks a hole all the way to the roof on the entire castle. He flies out and a second later, a piece of plaster falls on Marluxia's head.

"Where the hell are we?" Cid asks poking the game system.

"In the World That Never Was. You are in the real world now."

"The real world…like the Real World: Denver? Only this is the Real World: Midgar?" Yuffie asks, followed by Vincent slapping his forehead.

"Cloud, can we get out of here?" Aerith asks holding Cloud's arm (spits water out my mouth and throws the cup out the window).

"Hey, Aerith, you know how much I like him. I don't want to be mean, but no."

"Uh-oh. Another Aerith vs. Tifa match. Y'know what this means Sith?" Barret grins and gets out a camcorder.

"CAT FIGHT!" They both yell at the same time while Red XIII decides to walk off and sleep.

"Good grief."

"Let's take this somewhere else girls…please?" Cloud says with his hand on his face.

"Okay Cloud." They said at the same time almost like robots (Yikes, cat fight contenders are scary). They each grab one of his arms and sped him off. Yuffie runs after them with a poster that says "Tifa #1" and another one that says "Winner: Aerith!"

"Better stick with Yuffie or she'll break something…again." Vincent slowly walks out and is followed by Cid. Barret and Cait Sith are too busy placing bets, and Red XIII is asleep. Where will the crazy chick fight of the year, or month, take place?

* * *

"Hey…the mystery wire actually worked! We're in the game guys!" Demyx, in a Cloud costume, cheers. Zexion is Vincent, Siruxa is Tifa, Larxene is Yuffie, Naminé is Aerith (this is gonna be fun…), and Roxas is Cait Sith while Axel is Red XIII.

"Why the hell am I a fucking cat? I hate this!"

"But you're so cute…" Demyx hugs Roxas/Cait Sith, only to get bitten.

"Naminé, do you understand your position as Aerith your fate?" Zexion asks trying to get the cape out of his way.

"Yeah. Everyone knows that Aerith is switched by an alien clone and she comes back after a 5 year sleep from being chronologically frozen."

Roxas whispers to Zexion. "She doesn't know that Aerith died in the game. She was her favorite character, so I made this story up."

"Nice one."

"Hey!" A moogle in a navy blue beret and sunglasses and a moogle-full of camera crew walked up to them. "Follow the video game script you idiots kupo!"

"Okay, okay, we'll follow the video game storyline…where are we again?"

"Aerith is supposed to be in the Forgotten City chasing Sephiroth right now. So go on and start chasing instead of yapping!" The moogles leave stage right and go in an invisible booth; of course one moogle has to bump into the invisible booth.

"Uh-oh…Aerith is supposed to die there…" Demyx bites his thumb nail and Naminé is completely unaware of her imminent doom.

"Wait, who's Sephiroth? Demyx, Siruxa, me, Larxene, Naminé, Zexion, where's-"

"AHHHHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Xigbar, dressed as Barret, keeps swinging the mechanized arm and accidentally shoots a rain of machine gun bullets. "Ohhhhh, me liky this gunny…"

Lexaeus walks with a snow cone and waves with a cheery wave. "Me like cherry…"

"Then that means…" Axel says, but doesn't get to finish his sentence because he finds a bone and starts to bite and tear it apart. "I forgot."

"Ohhhh, a monster…and it's easy! Battle mode!" Demyx yells and attacks the dog-like monster with one sweep.

"Ouch! Watch it water boy!" (Now that's a Confusion ailment).

"Sorry! Now…take this!" Demyx kills the monster and theme music! Demyx strikes a pose and when the theme music ended, he found another monster.

"This will take forever…but it's still fun!" Siruxa attacks one monster and the theme victory music comes up.

"They are the perfectly mindless couple…" Larxene says sharpening the shuriken to throw at Axel and Roxas. She threw it at them and pointed to Zexion.

Somewhere, Sephiroth's theme music is playing in the Forgotten City and there is a figure wielding the Masamune. The figure turns around…and is (I think people already know by now…) Saix.

* * *

Yuffie is skipping down the street in Hollow Bastion and is eating a sea-salt ice cream. Suddenly, she bumps hard into the FF7 Yuffie.

"Ow! Hey you're me!"

"And I'm you!"

Yuffie is thinking hard and FF7 Yuffie stares at her and the ice cream. She tries to take it but Yuffie eats the entire thing at once. Followed by a mega wave of brain freeze, Yuffie gets an idea. She whispers to FF7 Yuffie and she smiles in agreement.

A few minutes later, Leon is walking around looking for Yuffie.

"Damn it, Yuffie where are you?"

"Over here Squall!" Yuffie jumps on his back and almost snaps his neck.

"Get off! And it's Leon." Yuffie gets off and runs in an ally. Leon dusts his shoulders and the FF7 Yuffie pops up in front of him with a cookie.

"Hiya Squall!"

"What do you mean 'Hiya'? And for the last time it is Leon."

"Squall."

"Leon."

"Squall."

"Leon…"

"Squall!" Yuffie appears with a purple ice pop.

"Leon!"

"Squall!" FF7 Yuffie.

"It's Leon!"

"Leon!" Kingdom Hearts Yuffie. (If there are children too immature and pure for sailor mouths, please cover their eyes or kick them out the room).

"FOR THE LAST MOTHER FUCKING TIME MY NAME IS SQUALL! GET IT? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING SAY IT? IT IS SQUALL SON OF A BITCH LEONHART!"

Leon breathes hard from his yelling and looks at the two Yuffies. He looks at the FF7 one, then the other. "What the hell?"

"Yay! We Bugs Bunnied him! I knew that Bugs and Daffy marathon would pay off!" Yuffie says as she jumps for joy.

"We're geniuses!" FF7 Yuffie gives the other Yuffie a high five. Then they start to sing and dance in celebration.

Leon looked at the two Yuffies in pure terror. "Two Yuffies…hell froze over. What's next? Doubles of everyone else?"

* * *

"Whoa…Cloud this is…weird." Cid looks at the two Clouds with the other Cid at his side inside Merlin's house. "Well, at least Aerith and Tifa won't have to claw out each other's eyes for you, now that there is plenty more to go around.

"I'm not real though, Cid #1. I'm a video game character in this world. Aerith and Tifa from my world are out looking for me, thinking that the other Cloud doesn't exist."

"Wait a minute there, Cloud." FF7 Cid says to him. "The Tifa and Aerith from this world are here too. If they see all this then-"

"Too late, they're here." Cloud says pointing to the entrance of Merlin's house.

"Cloud…I need a favor from you…" Aerith tries to bring Cloud outside, but Tifa grabs his other arm.

"Sorry, but I have a much bigger problem Aerith…Maybe he can get back to you quickly after this…"

"HEY!" Now the video game Tifa and Aerith are here. Some serious crap is gonna go down now. "CLOUD'S MINE!"

Now it's on. FF7 Aerith and Aerith teamed up against the two Tifa's. Then, they started to fight. Tifa threw a table at FF7 Aerith and Aerith threw a black board at FF7 Tifa. The Clouds and Cids were hiding under Merlin's bed and watching the fight.

"Merlin's gonna be pissed when he gets back from that hotel in Wonderland…" Cloud says wincing at the scene of Tifa trying to throw Aerith at the computer.

* * *

Vincent is looking around outside the city part of Hollow Bastion. "Damn it where is Yuffie?" He sees two Sephiroths in the dark abyss, staring at each other. "Crap, we're in so much trouble if they decide to team up…"

"You are not the real Sephiroth. There is only room in this world for one: me."

"You are not as strong as I am. Just because you have one wing and I don't, it doesn't mean anything. Besides, you never killed anyone in this world yet, woos."

Uh-oh…FF7 Sephiroth shouldn't have said that. Now Sephiroth, looking cool, calm, and collected, he has a huge fire of rage building up to explode.

"Then how about a battle to the death. Winner gets to be the true Sephiroth." Sephiroth tells the other one and he smirks. They shake hands, and then Sephiroth makes a cheap shot! The battle for Sephiroth-ness and possibly the right to make mind games with Cloud and rights for cutting in line for movies and restaurants has begun!

* * *

A/n: Will Sephiroth beat FF7 Sephiroth? Will the Tifa vs. Aerith vs. FF7 Tifa vs. FF7 Aerith stop? Will the Clouds and Cids ever come out from hiding? Will Vincent ever find Yuffie? Will Leon overcome double the stress of two Yuffies high on sugar? Will Saix complete his role in killing Naminé? Will the gang stuck in the game start to focus? What are the remaining FF7 characters doing in the Castle That Never Was?

Riku: Wow, that's very long.

Axel: And I thought the water boy here talks too much…

Demyx: Hey…I found this thing-a-ma-bob next to this set of boxes that say "Deadly Explosives made by Yuffie".

Everyone: DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU IDIOT!

(Everything blows up and the signal is lost. For entertainment purposes, we provided a waiting screen for times like this. Panda Bob, Jinx the cat, and three moogles dance to Cotton Eye Joe)


	18. Chapter 18

(I don't own Kingdom Hearts. The big wigs of Square Enix do. No fair…And sorry if it took too long to update.)

* * *

Chapter 18

We last left off Demyx and company trapped in a game of Virtual Final Fantasy 7. And there is a huge two-team catfight match between two Tifas and two Aeriths. Prize is to have either of the two Clouds as their partner for life, ouch. Leon was being driven to insanity due to being Bugs Bunnied by the two Yuffies. As for Vincent, he stumbled upon the two Sephiroths (dreams do come true!) who were ready to fight and be supreme, even if it means killing innocent bystanders with lawyers. But…let's take a look at what the rest of the people of FF7 are doing at the Organization's castle.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! PROTECT THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN!" Xemnas is screaming and running along with Vexen, Luxord, and Marluxia are running for their lives. The reason? Cait Sith got mad at Xemnas for making fun of his accent and he did the most death-wishing thing anyone would do: break Cait Sith's crown. Now Cait Sith is armed with a huge tank with huge missile launchers, plasma guns, machine guns, and all sorts of heavy artillery. Next time Xigbar should childproof the locks of his mega gun vault instead of using a Chihuahua as the security system.

"YOU BLOODY LITTLE WELP! YOU WILL DIE FOR BREAKING MY CROWN! NOW I HAVE NO IDENTITY!" Cait Sith launched a rain of liquid magma fire bombs and Marluxia's hair is bald in parts and singed by some wild sparks.

"MY HAIR! YOU SHALL PAY YOU UGLY FUR BALL FROM HELL!" Marluxia was ready to fight the high-on-machine Cait Sith, but was grabbed by Xaldin and they rush to a secret hiding spot…a bathroom which is for the girls only, but of course the reason why Vexen knows of this place can be found in the Twilight Town Police files back in Vexen's day…which could be in the Ice Age for all anyone cares.

"Hey…the girls' bathroom is huge! It's even bigger than my room!" Luxord looks at the wall-length mirrors, hot tubs, manicure and pedicure salon, hair salon, counter with tons of perfumes, showers, and floors so shiny you can see your reflection. "How could they pay for this?"

"Maybe they know a certain man…who owns a purple Cadillac with leopard interior…" Marluxia ponders, but gets hit by Xaldin. "What? It's possible."

"Just shut up. If we keep talking, that crazy Cat in the Hat on crack will kill us." Xaldin covers Marluxia's mouth. As soon as he lets go, Marluxia takes out a huge hair spray can the size of a Christmas tree at New York City. He sprays it on his hair and his butchered hair became glossy and beautiful again.

"Is he always like this?" Luxord asked Barret about Cait Sith.

"Yep. It happens about once every two months. Last time this happened Sith almost tried to find a way to cast Meteor. It's something to get used to anyway. Wait a minute…where's Red?"

Uh-oh…Red's out on his own. An image of Red being attacked by a rampaging talking cat and soon having his skin used for a fur coat strikes fear, and some sort of amusement to them.

"Poor Red! He'll be roasted by that crazy Cat in the Hat on crack and his bones will be used as creepy voodoo ornaments! I guess I'll have to save him…with the kindness of my heart." Marluxia says tears in his eyes and a triumphant tune being played by Panda Bob on drums and Jinx on tuba.

"Well, you don't have a heart, but good luck with that. I call dibs on Marluxia's Mini Cooper!" Luxord pushes Marluxia out of the peaceful haven of the girls' bathroom and into the bloody dead zone of Cait Sith's rampage.

"WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN IT! LET ME BACK IN! I DIDN'T HAVE THE 5 KIDS I WANTED YET!" (He has such high expectations).

* * *

"BACK OFF YOU FUCKING SLUT! CLOUD'S MINE!" Tifa tosses Aerith into a pile of construction materials and charges to take her when she's down.

"CLOUD WILL BE WITH ME! SO GO BACK HOME YOU OVER-STUFFED BREASTED WHORE!" FF7 Aerith takes a swing at FF7 Tifa with an iron pole and FF7 Tifa was sent crashing into the wall of a store.

Both the Clouds and Cids, being the men they were (yeah right), were watching the fight ensue and hiding among a stock of ice cubes for Scrooge's ice cream.

"Dudes, you should stop this Kill Bill fest before someone actually dies…or has their eye taken out. Scrooge we'll have a strawberry vanilla pop over here!" Scrooge gives the Cids the ice cream and is given munny.

"You're right…FF7 Cid," FF7 Cloud looks at his buddy in the eyes, "tell Yuffie that I lost her motor scooter in a bet and that she could have Fenrir if she wants."

The Cids give the Clouds a salute and the Clouds took deep breaths while walking to the battle field of doom.

"Ladies stop before you break an arm!" Cloud yells to the crazed fighters. Aerith stopped trying to pull Tifa's hair and Tifa putting her in a Full Nelson while FF7 Aerith stopped slapping FF7 Tifa with her hands equipped with bronze knuckles and FF7 Tifa was about to strangle FF7 Aerith with a heavy metal chain (Daaaaaaaaaaaaaang these girls are crazy).

"How about this: FF7 Aerith gets FF7 Cloud while Tifa gets to go with me? Will that work? And if the relationship doesn't work because the girl dies…not by each other…or breaks up the other girl gets a chance."

The girls huddled up and nod their heads.

"Awwwww, I missed the fight! I was gonna put it on You Tube!" Yuffie runs to the scene of the fight with her posters and FF7 Yuffie tags along behind with tons of stuffed plushies. "I told you it would take forever to find every type of plushie in this world."

"But they were cuuuuuuuute…" FF7 Yuffie started to pout and show Yuffie a very chubby pig plushie.

"You're right!" Yuffie hugs the plushie piggy and both Yuffies continue to cuddle the plushies.

"CLOUD! THIS IS TERRIBLE! THERE ARE TWO YUFFIES! WE HAVE TO GET TO THE BUNKER BEFORE-" Leon sees the doubles of Tifa, Cloud, Aerith, Cid, and Yuffie and smacks himself. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?"

"Virtual FF7 game gone bad." They all said, making the statement sound roboticy (is that a word…?)

"You guys we have to get the hell out of here!" Vincent runs and tries to catch his breath.

"Vinny!" FF7 Yuffie gives Vincent a huge bear hug and the other Yuffie joins after shrugging in confusion.

"Get…off…" Vincent pushes the Yuffies away and dusts his super cool cloak. "There are two Sephiroths. And their fight might destroy the world."

"Vincent there can't be two Sephiroths. That would happen when Aerith does a hit and run." FF7 Tifa tells him while putting a band aid on.

"Well…actually…there was this one time. I was late to go help the kids at the recreation center, so I decided to disobey the 35 mph speed limit just this once! I…ended up running over a blind old man with a seeing-eye dog. I'm so sorry!" FF7 Aerith starts to break into tears (Can you say America's Most Wanted boys and girls?)

"Okay then…there are two Sephiroths, what's the worse that can happen?" Yuffie asks with a smile and face with blueberry ice pop on her face. Then comes along a moogle with a TV and surround system. It turns on the sound system with Sephiroth's theme song and the TV showed a few clips of Sephiroth's evil god-like destruction, like burning cities, dead people, crying bunnies (making bunnies cry is very mean), and putting people to work as slaves.

"Oh, well then…WE'RE SCREWED!" The two Yuffies run around in circles and everyone else is screaming and in a state of panic as if the zombies of Resident Evil, the apocalypse, the curse of Y2K, and the 666 curse came.

"ALL YOU RETARDED BITCHES SHUT THE FUCK UP!" FF7 Cid yelled at the top of his lungs. "Now let's remain calm…"

Suddenly a huge explosion of fire can be seen all the way at the Dark Depths, where the fight of the Sephiroths is taking place.

"Never mind let's get the hell outta here!" And panic once again ensues the world of Hollow Bastion.

* * *

"Yeah! We won another battle!" Demyx says as he does the victory battle pose for Cloud.

"WILL YOU GO TO THE FORGOTTEN CITY ALREADY? YOU'VE BEEN BATTLING WEAK MONSTERS FOR 2 HOURS AND YOUR CHARACTERS EACH GAINED 3 LEVELS!" The moogle director yelled from his invisible booth.

"Um, sorry. We're on our way." Siruxa apologizes to the moogle and the other moogles press a button that says fast forward.

"Why didn't you press that button earlier?" The moogle director asked the crew.

"We get paid by the hour."

The FF7 characters shrugged and have their jaws dropped.

"Saix?" Saix, who is Sephiroth, walked forward with the huge samurai sword at his grip.

"Hiyo!" Saix waves his hand and accidentally trips over his huge costume.

"SEPHIROTH IS TOO COOL TO SAY HIYO!" The director said. "NOW KILL AERITH!"

"What?" Naminé looked like Bambi was about to get run over by a monster truck. "But I thought Aerith doesn't die!"

"Sorry, Naminé, but I had a feeling that you couldn't handle the truth." Larxene says patting Naminé on the back.

"You too Roxas?" In reply, Roxas nods his head and his Cait Sith crown almost falls off.

"Girl, everyone lies to you. It's like the code of the Organization." Axel says licking his paws.

"ENOUGH CHIT CHAT! AND STOP LICKING YOUR PAWS RED XIII…OR RENO."

"THE NAME'S AXEL AND I'M BEING RED XIII!"

"WHATEVER! SEPHIROTH, FOLLOW THE SCRIPT AND KILL AERITH!"

Saix was at deep thought and he put away his weapon. "No. Naminé is my friend. She was there when my turtle died by an ongoing truck full of pianos and when my girlfriend dumped me for a masculine lesbian from Traverse Town. And I was there when she saw Roxas accidentally kissing Axel and when her hamster named Jerry died from running too much on the wheel. We are tight!"

"Did I mention that you get paid 1,000 munny an hour?"

"Oh well friendship sucks anyway! Die Aerith die!"

Naminé is running around away from Saix as he chops down surrounding trees in his way. She kept running until she was in a corner of doom. Saix was about to chop off her head, but Naminé was able to use Aerith's staff to hit Saix in the groin so hard he is knocked unconscious and foaming at the mouth.

"I'm alive!"

"Yes, but not for long! Pom-pom crew, initiate plan B: Kill the Persistent Flower Bitch!"

A moogle pressed a button with skull and crossbones on it and a variation of death machines came out of no where. Their mission: kill Naminé. Now she's screaming for her life and running away.

"Director dude? Why do you hate Aerith so much?" Xigbar asks the director Moogle.

"That flower slut touched my pom-pom. No one touches Mr. Moogle Spielberg's pom-pom." Death and revenge was burning in his eyes like a fire on a Hawaiian volcano. Rule #1 in the Handbook to Moogle Society states this: **DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT EVER, EVEN IN A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION, TOUCH THE POM-POM OF A MOOGLE. IT IS A FATE WORSE THAN TEN THOUSAND YEARS OF DEATH. **"So I decided that death by Sephiroth was the best I can think of that won't put me in jail." Everyone at the scene steps away from the moogle.

"Wow…pom-poms are that important after all. That explains how my friend got mentally tortured until he was blind, deaf, mute, and paralyzed." Zexion says trying to get the red cloak out of his way.

Seconds later Naminé screams because she is about to be set on fire by a huge red machine. She dodges the flame by lifting her legs in the air. But the hem of her pink dress got singed and is now ruined.

"Hey…I didn't know that Naminé wore sexy red underwear…" Axel looks at an angle to see up Naminé's dress. In response, Larxene cuts him with the huge shuriken and Siruxa gives Axel a huge punch followed by a jumping roundhouse kick.

"PYROMANIAC PERVERT!" Larxene and Siruxa yell as they almost kill Axel.

Meanwhile, the rest of the boys are watching the scene of Naminé's imminent destruction.

"I didn't know that Naminé can do Matrix moves in the heat of desperation." Lexaeus takes some pop corn from Demyx and gets a sip of Sprite.

Just as a huge monster-machine was about to cut Naminé in half, everything stopped. Then, red lightening appeared and everyone not of this video game disappeared.

* * *

Back at Hollow Bastion…

"You are a pretty good warrior, FF7 Sephiroth."

"You're not so bad either. Now, prepare to-" And FF7 Sephiroth disappears.

"What the hell? I didn't plan on winning like this…but the hell with it." Now Sephiroth is going to do what he usually does when he's bored: play Soul Calibur III until his fingers are bleeding.

* * *

"Hey! Where did my other Yuffie go? And where is Vinny and the other FF7 people?" Yuffie asks looking behind boxes and buildings for the people.

"I guess the people stuck in the game were finally able to go back to where they belong. Now…let's celebrate!" Cid gets a few fire works and lights them up. Yuffie tries to set up a huge load of fire works and ends up blowing up a vegetable store.

"YUFFIE!" Leon tries to grab her and ends up getting chased himself by Yuffie on a huge truck out of control due to hot wiring.

"Cloud…Can you walk with me tonight?" Aerith asks Cloud while grabbing his arm. Her emerald eyes are sparkling along with her pouting.

"You know the terms, Cloud is mine." Tifa grabs Cloud's other arm with a very hard grip.

"But can't I just borrow him?"

"Since when am I an object?"

"THAT'S IT! BATTLE OF CLOUD PART 2 IS ON!" And another cat fight begins, showing how a nice sweet flower girl and a gentle martial artist can become crazy psychos in a catfight of blood and hair for a guy.

* * *

"PLEASE! HAVE MERCY!" Marluxia is on his knees with the huge nuclear plasma canon inches away from his head. Cait Sith was able to corner the Graceful Assassin.

"HAH! MERCY IS FOR THE WEAK! BURN IN HELL YOU PINK-HAIRED METRO SON OF A BITCH!"

Cait Sith is about to fire the cannon and he disappears, leaving the super death machine vacant.

"Marluxia! You're alive! I knew you would pull through!" Yeah, Luxord is saying that now, but this is what he really wants to say: "Fuck you, stupid little flower boy! I wanted that damn Mini Cooper! I will kill you in your sleep like Freddy Krueger!"

"Well…since Barret, Cait Sith, and Red XIII, who was in the girls' bathroom the whole time sleeping, are gone, our team mates should be back. Now, what will we do with this tank?" Xaldin scratches his chin and looks at the colossal weapon of death.

"Sell this piece of crap for parts?" Luxord asks Xemnas.

"Are you psychic? Because you read my mind." Xemnas says and gets a giant Whack-A-Mole hammer and breaks the machine.

* * *

"You guys…how did we get back if we had to beat the game?" Roxas says kissing his hands and hugging his non-cat-like body.

Jinx and Panda Bob walk toward them with wires in their mouths.

"Awww, my cuties were able to take out the plug and chew off the mystery wires. They are so smart!" Siruxa gives her pets a big hug and everyone else joins the hug.

"You know, I thought hugs were a waste of time…but…I love you guys!" Larxene says with tears in her deep blue eyes. She gives Lexaeus, Zexion, and Xigbar a big hug.

"Yeah! Join the love baby!" Axel gets too excited and gives Larxene a smack on her junk in the trunk. But that was a very bad move. Larxene's eyes, full of love and joy, are now full of bloodlust and hatred.

"YOU JUST KILLED THE MOMENT YOU PERVERTED BASTARD! ULTIMATE TECHNIQUE: LIGHTENING SABER PUNCH CROSS SLASH OF DEATH!" A huge overloaded charge of lightening appears on her fist with the knives in hand and she gives Axel a punch in the gut and a super uppercut, sending him flying through all the ceilings of the castle.

"Um…how about a game of Mario Kart?" Demyx asks everyone, and they agree. Once again, Mario Kart brings friends back together no matter how bad the moment was killed.

* * *

A/n: I was finally able to update! Yay! Oh yeah…Before I forget, my new story, Scrapbook, is in progress currently. It'll be out soon, I hope.

Riku: And if it isn't, we won't love you anymore.

Me: That's mean! (Starts to cry in a corner)

Demyx: That was harsh dude. You should give her a hug.

Axel: He's right. Or the author will go on a bitch fit rampage.

Riku: Fine. But after I get lunch. Please submit sweet reviews and the next chapter will be coming up soon.


	19. Chapter 19

A/n: Darn it I can't solve this damn puzzle!

Axel: What is she doing?

Riku: She's trying to solve the Rubik's Cube.

Demyx: Can I try?

Me: Okay, but just to let you know it's a very hard cube. It would take a miracle if you can solve it.

Demyx: I'm done!

Everyone: WTMFF? O.O

(I don't own Kingdom Hearts. How many times do I have to say it?)

* * *

Chapter 19 

The door bell rings and Saix answers the door with a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. "We don't want your damn vacuum cleaner you fat salesman!"

There is no fat salesman with a cheap vacuum that can break after 5 seconds of using it. There is actually a weird bottle with Arabian pink, white, and blue designs and weird words written on it in gold. It is skinny and has an onion-shaped dome as a cover.

"What the hell is this?"

Saix picked up the bottle and stared at it. "Maybe there's candy inside…" He opened the top and a huge puff of white smoke started to surge out of the bottle. Out of the blue, a brunette and fair-skinned woman in white belly dancing and genie clothes with gold on the wait and hem of every part of the clothing.

"Hello. Thank you for releasing me master. I am the genie of the lamp. How may I serve you?"

"Master? I've never been called master in my life! Well, except Master X back in school. But that was a cover up thing so I can run my mafia gang to help the weak against the bullies. Ah…good times."

"Pardon me master, I have more. I can grant three wishes and after the three wishes I shall be cast off into the world. And no wishing for more wishes. The last time they let that happened some fool ended up destroying all the aliens on Mars."

"Ohhhh, okay. As my first wish…man I wish I remember the words from the Three's Company show…I always sang that song until Vexen used a potion to make me forget it."

The genie blinked and Saix remembered the words.

"2 wishes left master."

"Damn it! Well, my next wish is…a lifetime supply of every type of coffee in the world just for me!"

"Your wish is my command." She blinked her eyes and tons of bags of every type of coffee in the world, even Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts coffee, was in the room.

"COFFEE! ALALALALALALAALALALALAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Saix headed to coffee heaven and started making a grande (heehee…get it? Grande size for coffee…okay shutting up now) cup of coffee and guzzling it down like water.

"Master…you only have one wish left…how about you cool down and-"

"IDON'TCAREIWANTMYLASTWISHRIGHTNOWBECAUSEI'MSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOHYPERFROMSOMUCHCOFFEEILOVECOFFEE!CANICALLYOUMOCHA?"

"But master-" Out of no where the genie disappeared into white smoke and is gone. Saix recovers from his coffee high and looks for the genie.

"Mocha? Where are you?"

* * *

Marluxia and Lexaeus found the genie's bottle and are staring at it. "I wonder what this is. And what do those words say?" 

"_If you want to be with me,_

_Baby there's a price to pay._

_I'm a genie in a bottle,_

_You've got to rub me the right way."_

"That's Christina Aguilera's song!"

"But it says it right here. I watched enough "I Dream of Genie" and I also had a cousin who collected magic lamps or bottles. He dropped his car keys in a weird looking bottle or lamp…so it wasn't really a hobby."

Marluxia takes the bottle from Lexaeus and rubs the bottle. Lexaeus takes it back and rubs it too. "Whatever I bet it doesn't work."

White smoke explodes from the bottle and the genie comes out. "Hello new masters. How may I serve you?"

"Sweet! A hot, sexy genie! Okay I know all the rules and stuff, so for my first wish I want my uniform to be in every shade of pink to make it fabulous!" Marluxia even added a feminine tone to the last word and snapped his fingers.

"Um…your wish is my command?"

With the blink of the eyes, Marluxia's uniform was every single shade of pink known to man and monkeys; bubble gum pink, watermelon pink, cotton candy pink, hot pink, neon pink, strawberry ice cream pink, Pepto Bismal pink, strawberry banana pink, eye shadow pink, Mini-Cooper pink, Marluxia's hair pink, pastel pink, sexy pink, berry pink, strawberry milk pink, worn out Big Red pink, throw up pink, and (I don't know every shade of pink) baby soft skin pink.

"My dream come true!"

"Hey, can I have a wish?"

"Fine…go ahead, but it better not be stupid." (wasn't the first wish stupid?)

"I wish that I can be on American Idol and show my talent to the world!"

The genie blinks her eyes and Lexaeus is dressed fashionably and on the stage of American Idol.

"And our next contestant: Lexaeus!"

With tears in his eyes, Lexaeus begins to sing and dance to William Hung's version of She Bangs (which I disclaim thank you very much).

_"__Talk to me, tell me your name  
You blow me off like it's all the same  
You lit a fuse, and now I'm ticking away  
Like a bomb... yeah baby_

Talk to me, tell me your sign  
You're switchin' sides like a Gemini  
You're playing games  
And now you're hittin' my heart  
Like a drum... yeah baby

Well if Lady Luck  
Gets on my side  
We're gonna rock this town alive  
I'll let her rough me up  
'Til she knocks me out  
'Cause she walks like she talks  
And she talks like she walks

_She bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby when she moves, she moves  
I go crazy 'cause she  
Looks like a flower  
But she stings like a bee  
Like every girl in history_

She bangs, she bangs  
I'm wasted by the way she moves  
No one ever looked so fine  
She reminds me  
That a woman's got one thing on her mind

Talk to me, tell me the news  
You'll wear me out like a pair of shoes  
We'll dance all night until the band goes home  
Then you're gone... yeah baby

Well, if it looks like love  
Should be a crime  
They better lock me up for life  
I'll do the time  
With a smile on my face  
Thinkin' of her in her  
Leather and lace  


_She bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby when she moves, she moves  
I go crazy 'cause she  
Looks like a flower  
But she stings like a bee  
Like every girl in history_

Man, if Lady Luck  
Gets on my side  
We're gonna rock this town alive  
I'll let her rough me up  
'Till she knocks me out  
'Cause she walks like she talks  
And she talks like she walks  


_She bangs, she bangs  
Oh baby when she moves, she moves  
I go crazy 'cause she  
Looks like a flower  
But she stings like a bee  
Like every girl in history"  
_

Everyone clapped and Lexaeus took the mike stand and smashed it on the floor.

"That was very good. That song was good and the dance was funny. I just love it. Right Randy?"

"...I don't think he should've picked that song...personally. But at least he was able to sing it right. And don't break the dang mike stand man."

Simon Cowell stands up with his arms crossed and looking as mean as ever. "I think it was terrible. I mean the sense of style…black cloaks with black boots and gloves…come now. And your dancing…please I can dance better if I was crippled and blind. The voice, god I would rather listen to a chicken get tortured by listening to 1,000 finger nails scratching 1,000 black boards 1,000 times."

Lexaeus starts to cry and walks away. But at his last stand he decides to say something. "You just hate me because I'm beautiful. _You are beautiful, No matter what they say…" _

And Lexaeus is taken off the set of American Idol because he tried to kill Simon by having him get attacked by a chicken. Now our Silent Hero is banned from the TV station forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

Back at the castle, Marluxia plans to make his third wish.

"I wish…" But the genie disappears and Roxas pilfers the bottle. "Damn you Roxas give me back my genie!"

* * *

"Yo Axel look what I got!" Roxas shows Axel the magical genie's bottle. "Marluxia made a wish with this genie thing and I took it. We can make good money off of this…" 

"Wait young pat-whatever that thing on Star Wars was. We should use the wishes to our advantage, got it memorized? Now let's rub this bottle!" They vigorously rubbed the genie's bottle and the genie, eating a burger appears.

"Ahem, sorry, hello new masters. What are your wishes?"

"I want to be able to see hot chicks do stuff in slow motion whenever I want!"

"…Your wish is, unfortunately, my command."

Axel gets green lightening shocked into his eyes and he was back to normal. "Roxas turn on the TV and put on MTV!"

Roxas turns on the TV and there is MTV spring break. Axel sees a few girls on stage. He uses his super slow vision and becomes an even bigger pervert than Roxas ever knew.

"Dude…you're sick. Okay genie I want a wish. I wish for supremacy of the Organization."

"Okie-dokie." Just like that it looks like nothing happened, but then Naminé comes by and addresses Roxas very formally.

"Superior, I want to know if you can help me out with something. There is a leak in the ceiling in my room and my room is almost flooded."

"Wait, who's Xemnas?"

"Um…#13 sir. Well, sort of no because he was in delirium that he was the ruler and so Vexen has him locked up in an asylum chamber. Why?"

Roxas grabs Naminé's hands and he jumps around like crazy. "Yes! I'm king of the world! And genie, for the last wish…"

"No! This is my chance to make Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson and Carmen Electra my wives!"

Roxas and Axel start to get into a sissy slap fight with the genie and don't realize that the bottle is being taken away by Larxene.

* * *

"Alright you genie you better come out or I'll make you come out." 

The genie makes a quick entrance and has a can of bear mace and a lead pipe in her hands. "Y-yes?"

"I wish that I can be queen of the worlds!"

"Um…okay. But specific rule under page 459 and article #35 section 4 of the wish making hand guide states that genies are not responsible for rebellions and assassination attempts if you become queen."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah just get on with the wish making already."

The genie blinks and Larxene has a crown of tons of jewels on her head and the symbol of the Castle That Never Was changes from the Nobodies' symbol to an L in script with the #12 Nobody's weapons.

"Promising…and I can have slaves to do whatever I want right?"

"I guess…"

"Hahahahahahahahaha! I'm queen of the universe and all shall feel my wrath or scream in torture of a thousand deaths in pure fires of darkness! And as for my second wish-"

Just as the wish was about to be made, Panda Bob puts the bottle into his mouth and walks off.

"Hey you over stuffed bear give me that bottle back now dammit!"

* * *

Jinx was playing with a ball of pink yarn in Siruxa's room when Panda Bob walks in. 

"Grrrr argh grrraaah." (Jinx I found this weird genie bottle with auntie Larxene).

"Meow? Meow meme meow!" (Really? Come on rub it already dummy!).

They rub the bottle and the genie appears in her pajamas. "You've got to be fucking kidding me. My masters are animals…at least they are not as primal as that red hedgehog. Alright what's your first wish?"

"Argh growl gr rahhhhl." The genie blinks and Panda Bob becomes a chubby little kid with black hair, a cap of panda ears, and black and white clothes with a puffy black tail on the back of the pants. Jinx is an older teen with long black hair and dressed in all black. It looks like she gets an emo/depressed personality or something.

"Sweet! We're human! Now I can go to the bathroom wherever I want!"

"Ewww, you're so gross Bob." (I would be grossed out too).

"Alright masters. Your second wish?"

"We want a million munny!" In the blink munny has secretly appeared in the room.

"Jinx let's take this munny to Demy and Ruxy!"

"…Whatever. The sooner we get this over with the sooner I can nap. And shouldn't we keep the money to ourselves for purposes like…a car or something? Maybe we can hire someone to get rid of Xemnas. He crossed the line when it came down to the litter box..." (I don't want to know...)

* * *

Demyx and Siruxa are playing "Beast and the Harlot" on Guitar Hero 2 in expert mode (I disclaim that video game).

"You're pretty good for someone who doesn't play the guitar…"

"Baby you don't know the half of it!" Siruxa was able to nail the last few parts and won. In the moment, she takes the guitar and slams it on the floor to tiny scraps of plastic and junk. "Oops."

"Demy and Ruxy!" The kid who is Panda Bob gives them a huge suffocating hug and Jinx just looks at them.

"Who the heck are you?" Demyx asks the little kid.

"Panda Bob! I made a wish to make me and Jinx human for 24 hours!"

"Awww, you are still so cute!" Siruxa gives Panda Bob a big hug. Hearts are flying out of this hug, reaching corny level 10/10. Jinx sticks out her tongue and makes her finger point out to her throat.

"Hey Zexy! The pets are human now!"

"What the hell do you want? Just when I find a chance of solace after I was traumatized by your damn home video about your daily life you want to push me to the edge of inflicting pain on myself. That scene of you and your laundry blinded me."

Jinx stares at Zexion with pure curiosity…and something else. "ZEXY!" A wrestler's bear hug is given to the Cloaked Schemer by the human/cat. "I've always wanted to talk to you ever since I came to visit you guys for the first time with Ruxy! You're so cool (true) and hot! (that's true too…)." Where did the depressed-looking girl go?

"Look, I…am from a different species than you are Jinx. We can't be together like the way you want it to be."

"Aw, come on! Pleeeaaaaase?"

"This stinks. I wish none of this mess today ever happened. If Jinx and Zexion get together, there would be wide spread panic (that is the truth) and most important of all...who will help me fight the monster in the closet?" Panda Bob says holding the genie bottle. The genie comes out and smiles.

"Your final wish is my command! And I am freakin' outta here! So long suckers!"

The bottle disappears and there is a rip in the space time continuum!

"Holy shit! A tear in the space time continuum! I should've brought a camera to send the video to my mom!" Demyx says as his furniture is flying around. Everything is sucked into the hole and the entire place became white. Then color splashed through the hole and time has gone back to the time that Saix answers the door. "We don't want your damn vacuum cleaner you fat salesman! Wow...deja vu..."

Saix sees a bottle on the door step. "Hmmm, a bottle…" He takes out the Claymore and tosses the bottle into the air. At the right timing, he swings it and is sent out of this wooooooorrrlllld, literally. "Now the MLB has to take me in!"

* * *

The bottle lands on the ground and is picked up by…the monkey sidekick of Aladdin, Abu. Uh-oh…he rubs the bottle and the genie appears. 

"Hello master. How may I serve you?"

Abu talks like a monkey and ends up making three wishes: Unlimited bananas, freedom to touch any shiny thing he wants without anything bad happening, like in the Cave of Wonders, and he gets a break dance set complete with boombox, gear, and music.

"Wow…three wishes gone by fast…oh well. I'm getting paid for every wish and master I serve."

* * *

A/n: To me this took longer than I expected…I was trying to make my new story…Anyways, press that purple button that says Go or your money back…wait I didn't get any money from anyone! 


	20. Chapter 20

A/n: Whazzuuuuuup?

Zexion:…You're retarded.

Axel: I second in that vote.

Demyx: Wait, if she's retarded, then what am I?

Riku: You're mentally unstable and have an IQ of -60.

Me: Whatever. Demyx, we can be stupid together!

Demyx: But I don't want to be stupid.

Me: Forget y'all then! Oh yeah, I don't own Kingdom Hearts. How many times do I have to say that?

* * *

Chapter 20

"Mananana doo doo doo doo doo. Mananana doo doo doo doo. Mananana doo doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo doo doo." Vexen and Xemnas are singing the tune in the car commercial they saw on TV. Now Vexen has that tune stuck in his head foreva! Walking down the halls, thinking of a new experiment. Will it be an instant microwave machine that can automatically cook something like a turkey feast in less than 10 seconds? Or maybe a tiny microchip he can put in the other Organization's heads to give them nightmares in the form of himself giving lectures on the meaning of life (that's very long and torturing)? Maybe gene splicing a bunny with a mouse to get an adorably soft animal to love.

"I have come upon nothing that will soothe my hunger for more knowledge. Any experiment will do…except for volcanoes. If only an idea can hit me on the head or something…"

"What are you talking about Vexen?"

Just then something hits Vexen on his head with a huge "Konk!" and goes on the floor. "Roxas are you playing ball in the house again!? Well I ought to give that young hooligan a piece of my mind! Oh he shall get a lecture…and 72 hours of watching Teletubies to decrease the number of neurons in his brain until he becomes less than a vegetable. Pure genius!"

What Vexen didn't know was that what hit his head wasn't a ball, but a grenade (O.O Uh-oh). "Oh, shiny…" Xemnas picked up the grenade. Then 3…2…1…Happy New Year! Just kidding…in 3…2…1…BANG!

* * *

"Whoa…what was that?" Luxord asks from looking at his deal of cards. He, Axel, Xigbar, and Larxene are playing Uno and, Luxord is winning.

"Marluxia probably used that shotgun in his closet to kill some animal messing with his flowers. That's what happens when a flower pansie gets obsessive about her flowers."

"Xigbar, Marluxia's not a girl (I sort of thought he was when I saw him in Chain of Memories for a few seconds) he just looks like one. There are men cursed to sometimes look like women to other people." Axel takes a drink of Budd Light and puts down three 2's.

"Red skip card. You lose your turn Larxene." Xigbar says and grins at his hand of only 2 cards.

"WHAT? AGAIN? WHY DO YOU GUYS KEEP MAKING SURE I BARELY HAVE ANY TURNS?"

"Larxene it means these three things: One, karma is finally catching up on your sadistic ass. Two, you just suck at the game. And three, we're your superiors and you can never beat us. If you did, the balance of the universe would collapse." Axel says getting a bottle of beer thrown at him by the Savage Nymph.

"Besides, you only have five cards left." Luxord starts to move his cards in different positions in the fan without showing the cards.

Larxene looks at her hand and grins. "Make that…UNO!" She puts down four sevens, with the green one on top, and the guys look mad. "What's really good?"

The guys are mad at the fact that a girl is winning. Luxord lays down a green six, Axel puts down a wild card and calls for red, his "lucky" color.

"Shouldn't have done that." Larxene puts the last card, a red two, and wins. "Hah! Beat that you ugly sonuvabitch!" She points at Axel while Xigbar takes a HUGE drink of his beer and Luxord bangs his head on the table.

Then there is an explosion that bursts through the wall and Luxord screams like a girl and hides under the table.

"This is what happens when girls beat guys in stuff!" Axel screams at Larxene while cowering in a fetal position holding a stuffed fire moomba. Larxene looks at the hole with no fear whatsoever.

"Show yourself weakling!"

Then, a small figure appears out of the smoke. It is a doll that looks like it went through the garbage disposal and got badly sewn. But the left side of its face looks burned and robotic and the blonde hair is tangled and in a bad pair of pig tails.

"Hello again Larxene."

"Do I know you?"

"You'll see soon. GET IN HERE BOYS!" Suddenly a posse of police, FBI, CIA, and alive dolls barge in and make another hole in the wall. "Take them down. No prisoners."

They charge and just like a crazy arrest chase on COPS, Xigbar, Luxord, Axel, and Larxene are in handcuffs and beaten up.

"Now…where is Siruxa?"

* * *

"You're so cute Demyx."

"No, you are Ruxy."

"Will you guys stop that? I'm trying to eat." Zexion watches the couple act all cute and lovey dovey while he and Marluxia are eating Chinese food.

"Oh leave them alone Zexion. It's so cute to see a couple act cute. Oh if only he didn't leave me like that." Zexion drops his chopsticks and with a shocked, yet calm, face he looks at his pink-haired friend.

"Who the fuck is 'he'?"

"Oh, a man who I met on a fateful day at a flower shop in Paris before I became a Nobody. I miss him!" Marluxia breaks down in wimpy sobs. Zexion curses his existence in the life of an emo genius in a dysfunctional family/organization.

"HOLY SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA! SHE'S BACK! MEN PROTECT THE WOMEN AND RUN TO THE BUNKER!" Roxas is running with Naminé and Xemnas behind him and almost out of breath. As fast as you can say "one double cheeseburger with fries and a shake" Roxas boarded up the doors and added chains.

"What's up with you man?" Demyx asks while taking the first bite off of a candy apple in caramel and M&Ms (yummy!).

"THAT PSYCHO DOLL SUNFLOWER SUE IS BACK!" (Remember that doll thingy in Chapter 14?)

"What about her?" Zexion says while drinking his soda without any emotion whatsoever in his statement.

"SHE'S TRYING TO KILL US AND GET REVENGE ON MISS SUPER THIEF OVER HERE!"

"Hey! It's Miss Super Nobody Thief."

"Whatever! She got old man Vexen, Xemnas, Axel, Luxord, Larxene, and Xigbar already! She's got the police, Men in Black, CIA, PP and J, ABC, and FBI to get us!"

"Come on. We can take 'em. And two of those acronyms aren't part of the justice system. What's the worse that can happen?"

A hand pierces the door and grabs Roxas right through the door. Then the door is knocked down and S.S and her posse barge in with creepy grins.

"Hello Siruxa."

"Wow. You look different."

"No thanks to you. I ended up in some damn island world and into the home of three brats, well, one of them was hot. Anyway, they tore me apart, and I was almost a goner. But, a doll maker was able to put my evil spirit into this doll. I tried to get back at those kids, but they beat me again. I got stitched up and make overed so I can have my revenge on you and your friends!"

The shadow Nobody stayed silent and picks at her nails. "Whoever did that makeover should give you your money back because you look uglier than the lice in Axel's hair."

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! TAKE THEM DOWN NOW!" The army of dolls and law enforcers charge with a battle cry and chase everyone in the room. They were no match to the Nobodies and got whipped and beaten easily. But the dolls are able to beat them and throw them in special cages where there is only escape with a key that S.S is holding.

"I need to go to the bathroom! My kidneys are sensitive!" Roxas is trying his best to hold his filled bladder (ewww…) and is starting to tear as a doll is pouring water in front of him. Xemnas and Vexen are leaning away from him to avoid any accidents.

"I'll never look at a Barbie doll the same way again." Xemnas says while leaning away from an armed Barbie doll with a huge hand-held laser.

"Zexion, if we get out of here, you can use my dolls for testing your experiments with Vexen. I don't want them anymore! No not the bunny!" Naminé cries when a porcelain doll shows devastating pictures of fierce animals killing cute animals in the act of wildlife. The current picture shows a wolf tearing a poor defenseless bunny to pieces (too graphic to describe because of this rating).

Marluxia sits and tries to break the bars of the cage with a saw, but an action figure of a soldier snatches it away and takes out a pair of buzzing barber tools and has a creepy grin and eyes. As it maniacally laughs, it shaves Marluxia's head like a blind person working at a barber shop.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR! NOOOOOOOOO! WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? I'M NOTHING WITHOUT MY HAIR!" Marluxia covers his head with his hood and starts to suck his thumb in a corner.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Larxene says while being stuck in the cage trying to break the bars with her knives. A doll takes the knives and breaks them in half. "You little pint-sized bastard I'll kill you!"

"Let it go Larx. We're doomed. If they're gonna eat us…I vote Siruxa." Axel raises his hand and dodges a pebble thrown by Siruxa. "It's obvious that the newest member has to be the first to get eaten. But me and Roxas are to be the last people to be eaten."

"Why? So you can finally have some alone yaoi time with Roxas?" Naminé looks shocked at that statement Zexion said and Larxene, Xigbar, Demyx, Siruxa, and Luxord were laughing their brains out.

"That's not true you emo. I'm 100 percent straight and for hot chicks."

"You mean Marluxia?" People laughed even more and Marluxia looked pissed.

"Don't hate me because I'm fabulous!" Marluxia says with his hooded and depressed face. The dolls grab huge mallets and bang on the cage. The impact made a noise that's similar to a gong, but a little more ear shattering. "Will you dolls just shut the fuck up? You take my hair and now you're after my ears?"

"There's only one thing we can do…Operation Crazy Chocobo on Crunk!" (Yes…I typed down crunk. So sue me.) Xemnas takes out a flashlight, aims it outside, and turns it on, making a Chocobo Signal in yellow light.

* * *

Xaldin is in his room reading creepy Stephen King books and enjoying unlimited hot chocolate with marshmallows. Then he sees a light outside with a shadow the shape of a chocobo. "Don't tell me Xemnas wants operation Triple C…I gave that up years ago." Then another light shines next to the signal and it says "Just get your ass over here!"

"Fine." Xaldin gets up and turns on the radio and the theme song of Mission Impossible plays. He presses a button on his wall and the book shelves open to reveal a weird yellow chocobo/chicken suit with added lances in yellow. He puts the suit on and equips the weapons and items with dramatic expressions. Then…he pulls that lever. The lever which reveals the secret stash of…Super Chocolaty Chocobo Coco, the key to his chocobo powers (I know this is getting so weird). He takes a drink and is ready for fighting crime…or doing whatever Xemnas wants. He takes the hang glider and opens the window to get ready to fly.

"Time to cho-cho-cho-chocobo out of here!" And he's flying! He's really flying! But…now he's not because lightening just happened to strike his hang glider, shocking him and sending him through his destined window with a clumsy crash. The dolls tie Xaldin to a long stick and carried him to the cage with Xemnas, Vexen, and Roxas like a pig ready to be burned over a fire.

"We're doomed! Doomed! Doomed I tell ya!" Xemnas yells and cries, showing to everyone including the readers that he has become even less of a man than he was. His status went from Mama's Retarded Boy With Emotional and Psychological Problems to Mama's Retarded Boy Who Should Go Back To School To Get His GED And Get Therapy.

"All hope is lost. The only one who can save us is Lexaeus. But he's busy drinking all the soda cans to find that prize to see Spiderman 3 and get a year supply of Chocolate Truffles!" (I would drink all that soda too) Luxord says banging on the cage's bars until his fingers are numb and swollen. "Ah! My hands! My god-gifted in the art of gambling hands!"

"Now…what to do? Let's spin the Wheel of Torture!" Sunflower Sue yells and a huge lit up wheel is pushed by five G.I Joe action figures. There were tons of choices from being burned by the fires brought to you by Hades' Fireworks and Pyromaniac Paradise store to getting eaten by squirrels for three hours.

"Roxas I change my mind. I want me and Larxene to be last. At any rate, we'll be the last male and female in this castle so we can start having-" Larxene punches Axel so hard his face hits the bars, leaving imprints on his face and giving him a K.O.

"Now let's spin the wheel. If you are lucky enough, all you'll get is having to scrub the floors with your toothbrushes. That's pretty generous."

S.S spins the wheel and it keeps spinning and spinning. It starts to slow and it ends up on the triangle that says "Clean floors with toothbrushes."

"WHAT? SPIN IT AGAIN!" The dolls spin the wheel again. It lands on the same spot and S.S orders them to spin it again. After 41 spins S.S just moves the wheel to where the arrow points to "Trampled by 1,000 Sumo Teletubies."

"Hilarious and torturous. Now, 1,000 super fat sumo wrestling Teletubies will be running or walking over you until you die. Isn't that cute?"

"NO!" Everyone says at the same time clasping their hands and begging for mercy.

"Heck no. Now…first one up is the dumbass over there." The dolls unlock all the cages and take out Xigbar, Xemnas, Roxas, Axel, and Demyx to be presented. "By the dumbass I mean the rock star dumbass."

"Good luck Demyx. If you die I get dibs on your PS3." Roxas says when he is thrown back into his cage.

"Wait! I'm too young to be Teletubie Trampled!" Demyx is laid out on a mat and a drum beat is made by action figures with war paint on the faces. A huge group of the 1,000 Sumo Teletubies enter and get ready to trample Demyx, who is starting to cut the ropes and get loose.

"Teletubies get ready…and-"

S.S is interrupted by a horn tune of battle and war. Everyone looks and they see a huge heavily armed robot/tank crashing through the wall. Panda Bob is operating the robot/tank while Jinx is in a huge robo cat machine the size of a house. Lexaeus is seated on a robot chocobo with his tomahawk in hand. The animals and the Silent Hero are wearing blue and white face paint and Lexaeus is wearing a costume straight out of Braveheart.

"What the hell?"

"Oh no…Lexaeus drank the Mel Gibson potion! It was a failure! Someone must have put a heavy Braveheart dose in one of the soda cans he drank!" Vexen yelled and gives an evil eye to Roxas, who is one of the pranksters of the castle.

"You hate me because I'm blonde."

"I'm blonde too you infidel."

Panda Bob plays a battle field trumpet tune on loudspeaker and the rescue team attacks the Sumo Teletubies. The match was full of funny bloopers with wrestling moves and Lexaeus doing crazy tag team combos. It was like watching a comical version of WWE. All the Sumo Teletubies are bruised and K.O'd, leaving the dolls and S.S to fend for themselves. The dolls look at each other and run out the windows to plummet down the bottomless ground, leaving S.S on her own.

"You guys weren't getting paid anyway!" Jinx knocks down S.S and throws the doll outside and shooting missiles at the airborne doll. The explosion resembled a Disney World firework show.

"Can we get out of here I need to go to the bathroom…um, never mind." As soon as Lexaeus unlocks the cage for Roxas, Xemnas and Vexen and they rush the heck out of that cage. Xemnas looks at the damage done to his castle.

"WHO'S GONNA PAY FOR THIS?"

He turns around and everyone has left except Panda Bob and Jinx, who were taking naps on the very cushiony Sumo Teletubies.

"What did I do wrong? All I did was try to take over Hollow Bastion and put the world into darkness…" As he said that, karma came back with a vengeance by having a Sumo Teletubie, which was lying on its side, to roll over and flatten Xemnas with its back. "HELP ME! I just hope this thing doesn't fart in its sleep…"

* * *

A/n: Sorry for the delay!

Riku: You're always sorry.

Me: Meanie!

Axel: Shut up!

Demyx: Spongebob Squarepants! (everyone looks at Demyx with WTF expressions) Um…please use the left mouse button to click on "Go" to submit your reviews…Heheh?

Everyone else: You're retarded.


	21. Chapter 21

A/n: I've got a surprise for you all…This is the last chapter!

Demyx: Why? T-T

Riku: She got lazy.

Axel: You shamed us all.

Me: Don't make me get Bobo.

Demyx: Who's Bobo?

Me: My secret weapon. For the last and final time I don't own anything. I'm too broke. T-T Just start the story!

* * *

Chapter 21 

Demyx and Siruxa are playing Wii tennis and then…WHAM! Demyx lets go of the Wii controller and it crashes into the TV. It even blows up and bursts into pretty, but deadly flames.

"That's Zexy's TV! He's gonna murder me!"

"Don't worry, I can steal one from that emo blonde with the motorcycle. He is too wrapped up in a triangle to watch TV. I can't steal TV's from the store because they added cameras and stuff."

"Um…Ruxy I need to talk to you."

"Okie dokie." They sit on Demyx's bean bag couch (yeah he got a bean bag couch) and Demyx checks for anyone who could be listening to their conversation. "What is it?"

"No one can find out about this. Now, Siruxa, we've been together for how long?"

"About a year. It's almost our anniversary so if you forget I'll get Larxene to shove pineapples up your-"

"No no I won't forget!" Demyx reaches in a pocket of his cloak and pulls out a little blue velvet box.

* * *

Roxas is taking a nap…and Axel is staring at his face. 'He looks peaceful asleep' (o.o). Axel starts to stroke Roxas's blonde head (O.O) and even touches his lips with his gloved hand (O.o). His face leans in for a kiss, a kiss Axel has wanted ever since Roxas came by. If he couldn't have Larxene, he'll have to make a move out the closet (in yo closet!). Then, smack dab on the target he gives Roxas a smooch. 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Roxas wakes up and sees Axel's mouth on his. He punches Axel and gets up with Oblivion in one hand. "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING? TRYING TO BUTT RAPE ME OR SOMETHING?"

"If that's what you want."

"Dude!"

Panda Bob crawls in and tugs on Roxas and Axel's cloaks. "Beat it raccoon." Then Panda Bob bites Axel's foot. "ALRIGHT ALREADY GET OFF!" He releases his bite and Axel bandages his foot and gets a pair of crutches. Then the pyromaniac and blondie teleport to Demyx's room where everyone else is apparently there. And…Demyx and Siruxa are holding hands.

"Okay if this is an intervention to make me say I'm a bisexual then you're out of luck! I'm saying nothing!" Axel points at them and Roxas smacks his forehead.

"Um…it's not about that Axel. But it's a good idea though." Xemnas says eyeing Roxas, who looks red in the face like Axel's hair. "Demyx and she-devil have an announcement of some sort."

Siruxa stands up and has a huge smile on her face. "Guys…me and Demyx are getting married in Vegas!" She even holds up her ungloved left hand, which has a silver ring with tiny diamonds and a sapphire in the middle on her left ring finger.

Xigbar spits out his beer like a cannon. Xemnas looks like he saw a traumatizing moment close to Barney raping the Teletubies (sorry if anything graphic has been stuck in your minds). Xaldin, Lexaeus, Vexen, and Zexion look calm but have raised eyebrows. Saix's jaw drops while Axel's eyes widen to the impossible length of Texas. Luxord drops the cards he was shuffling for fun. Larxene looks like she is going to cry and die from laughter. Marluxia is on the verge of fainting and breaking into tears. Naminé looks happy for her friend, but Roxas has a WTF look on his face.

"MARRIAGE? WHAT IN THE MOTHER F F ARE YOU F THINKING? ARE YOU DOING F CRACK OR SOMETHING?" Xemnas is yelling and the curses he said were actually beeped because the censor committee wanted me to beep this part. Damn committee.

"Me and Demyx are ready you douche."

Axel's eyes are getting watery and he gets a pat on the back by the overly floral Marluxia, who is crying and holding a pink handkerchief with pink roses and daisies on it. "Don't worry, at least he's still a virgin. We can beat Demyx in the contest of the Best Man!"

"Actually…" Demyx scratches his hair and he and Siruxa blush. The guys' eyes widened and in unison they say:

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?" Axel notices that Zexion, one of the Nobodies who are young and single, didn't say it.

"Hey emo dude why didn't you say it with us?"

"I have nothing to worry about." That makes the other young men cry. Axel, Marluxia, and Saix are now on the list of Less Manly Dumbasses.

The girls are happy though for their other female friend. "Well, Siruxa I have tips while being married to water boy over here: Violence is best for pleasure and control, make sure he gets you birthday, Christmas, and anniversary gifts, and if you get kids make sure he does not drop them or bring them close to a microwave. That's how Xemnas got retarded." Larxene tells her friend. Only 1 out of 3 of the advices are actually helpful though. Please don't copy the other two advices because I'm not going to court for reckless endangerment.

"HOLD IT! THERE IS NO WAY I'LL ALLOW THIS WEDDING! AND IT'S IN VEGAS FOR GOD'S SAKE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FAILED MARRIAGES WERE FROM VEGAS?"

"Yes. But it's okay. We've got a good minister." Demyx tries to sound smart and make his plan sound fool-proof. "Luxord is the minister!"

Everyone looks at Luxord and he just shrugs. "I got a minister license for any wedding: straight couples, gay couples, lesbian couples, poodle couples, you name it."

"And we have food and the place set up!"

"When is the wedding?" Xaldin asks with absolutely zero interest and zero concerns of the answer.

"Tomorrow." The engaged couple say at the same time, making Xigbar spit out even more beer. "Speaking of tomorrow, I gotta go steal me a wedding dress and shoes! Tootles!" Siruxa gives Demyx a quick kiss and teleports out the room to steal more stuff, bringing society of the Nobodies down to a bad standard.

Axel elbows Demyx and has a mischievous grin on his face. "So…you're a man now. The student is now in the league of the teacher."

"Aren't you a virgin? That means I'm better than you and you taught me nothing, except when it came to those lonesome-" Axel clamps Demyx's mouth shut and in response Demyx bites his hand.

"No biting the teacher! Anyway, we have to make a bachelor party. I'll get a couple of female friends to come and entertain while the other guys get the beer and food and stuff."

"Actually I don't plan on having a party. I'm gonna write a song for the honeymoon and I need to find inspiration. Maybe penguins? No it can be flowers, the Little Mermaid, oceans, water, something that describes her really well."

Xemnas was about to say something but Saix stops him. "Don't worry it will be alright sir. Besides, the girl and Demyx will move out, correct?" The silver-haired superior has a smile brought upon his face and gives Saix a bear hug.

"This is why I love you Saix."

But Saix pushes away from him and brushes off his shoulders. "Sorry, but I'm tired of waiting for you. You were playing hard to get and now I got a new man." And Xemnas is left crying in the corner with Naminé patting him on the back and handing him boxes of Kleenex. Welcome to Kleenex Town boys and girls.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Twilight Town, Siruxa is looking for a dress to steal by using binoculars she stole before to look into the bridal shop at the rooftop. 

"Too puffy, too draped, too much sparkle, too plain, jeez this store has barely anything worth stealing. Oh hello, what is this?" Siruxa's eyes catch her ideal dress. Not too puffy, draped, sparkly, or plain. Super thieves do get picky when it comes to shopping too. So, she makes a small shadow puddle and digs her arm in it. With her hand keeping the binoculars to her face, she sees her hand come through the ground of the store. Siruxa snags the dress and even causes a woman to faint with a hysterical scream. She picks up the dress and makes the shadow puddle disappear.

"Nice trick Urisa. It's been a while." A voice says behind her. She turns around to see a girl who looks just like her, minus the magenta streaks in her brown hair and the girl is shorter than her by a couple of inches. "How's my least favorite twin doing?" (PLOT TWIST!)

"Doing better than you, that's for sure. So you were finally able to get out of jail Arisa. I knew 25 to life was too much for you."

"No thanks to you. You set me up and made me get caught! I've been in jail for three years and I want revenge! Nice ring by the way." (What kind of disfuntional family do they come from?)

"First of all, thank you. Second, you got yourself caught. I told you that there were laser trip wires that can move at any angle after every five minutes. But you didn't listen to me. And three years isn't that bad. Mom did say you were the baby bitch of the family. Even dad bombed you out of prison because you were starting to go mental after only three years."

"You shut up!" The sky got darker and thunder is rolling. "Mommy and daddy always liked you the best and you stole my boyfriend!"

"I didn't want your boyfriend! He was never interested in you because he was gay (WTF O.O?)! He didn't want to hurt your feelings so he made up that lie about him going out with me!"

"LIAR!" A tornado formed and almost sucked Siruxa in. "How do you like my Nobody power Shadow Fox (a.k.a Siruxa)? Now I'll kill you and gain the bounty of your head!"

While Siruxa is spinning in the tornado she feels like vomiting. But knowing her luck it would come right back at her. "You would kill your own sister for a couple of bucks?"

"Yes!" The tornado stops and drops Siruxa on the ground with a THUD. She tries to get up but is met by a black boot. Siruxa looks at her sister and sees that her appearance has changed: her hair is completely brown, her height is slightly taller to reach Siruxa's, and she is wearing the Organization uniform. "I can pull off disguises pretty well, don't I sis?"

"You should stop this Arisa. Your anger management problems aren't healthy."

"Shut up. I'm Saraxi now. Or should I say Mrs. Siruxa?" She takes Siruxa's ring and puts it on her left ring finger, looking at the sparkle it gave off from the sun hitting the sapphire and diamonds. "A guy actually found a good size for a ring. I'll like this. After the wedding's done, I'll kill you and keep your husband to myself." Then comes the ever so annoying evil laugh followed by lightening and Siruxa just looks at her sociopath sister with a creeped out look on her face. The laugh stops and there is awkward silence so quiet everyone heard Axel let one rip right by the computer.

"I've gotta work on that laugh."

* * *

Demyx is looking at himself with the tux on and his hair is…gelled. That's right, g-e-l-l-e-d. He hated the do, but Larxene forced him to where this hairstyle for the wedding because he will not be allowed to ruin his girlfriend's, or fiancé's, wedding. Especially since it is a Vegas wedding. And if he ruins the wedding he can kiss his cohunes goodbye. 

"I don't want my hair like this…" Demyx starts shaking his head like a rock star and his mullet/Mohawk do is back. Then Larxene kicks the door down and holding a knife in one hand and a bottle of acid in the other.

"You really don't care about your manhood Demyx?"

"I-I WAS WORKING ON MY ROCKER INPERSONATIONS! PLEASE DON'T CUT THEM OFF!" Demyx grabs a bottle of gel and dumps a pile on his head and styles his hair the way it was before.

"Good boy. You get a cookie." Larxene throws a giant chocolate and vanilla chip cookie and Demyx hordes the cookie like Xaldin at Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory last Christmas. She leaves the cookie-happy Nobody and leaves the door on the floor with her boot print. Seconds later, Saraxi as Siruxa appeared in the doorway.

"What's up cutie?"

"I want my mulhawk back!"

"What?"

"You know! Half mullet half Mohawk! But Larxene threatened cutting off my cohunes with a knife and dousing what's left of it in acid."

Saraxi raises an eyebrow and makes an embarrassed laugh. "Right…So where will the honeymoon be sweetie?"

"Uh Ruxy you know I don't like that nickname. It's either Demy, Dem-Dem, cutie, or Demy Bear."

'Dear god what did Siruxa give this guy? Meth?' "Right I'm sorry, I'm just so excited for the wedding Demy."

Demyx stares at Saraxi for a while and walks up to her face. "Y'know, there's something different about you…" 'Oh shit if he finds out my identity I'm done for!' He keeps staring at her face and shrugs his shoulders. "Oh well. Probably the cookie Larxene gave me."

"Who's Larxene?"

Demyx gasps and points at the impersonating twin. "You forgot one of your best friends? That's mean!"

"Oh no no no, I thought you meant this other Larxene! No I still remember my friends! I'm not that heartless." (Irony…Nobodies have no hearts…she's a Nobody and she says she isn't heartless…heheheheh…sry).

Demyx just looks at her with a dumb look and shrugs his shoulders. "Okay then. "And besides, the honeymoon's a secret."

"Oh…okay then. How about spending a little fun?"

"Nah, I'm tired and I wanna watch I Robot. It's on the HBO channel."

Demyx leaves Saraxi alone and she curses her sister and retarded boyfriend. She would be thankful to live beyond the wedding before being killed by overly dumb moments. The Nobody walks to Siruxa's room and snaps her fingers. Her twin appears in an iron cage and she seems laid back and whistling a tune.

"You know this plan won't work Saraxi. Just get me out and we can get a family moment arranged on Oprah or Dr. Phil. Trust me, you need it."

"You're still the cool annoying bitch of a sister that I hate even when you know that you'll die. How dumb can you be?"

Siruxa takes a moment to think and sighs. "If I said it you would start being bitchy and I want my ears to be able to hear perfectly without blood pouring out of them."

Saraxi is about to yell, but she takes three deep breathes. She massages the temples of her head and brings her grin back. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that. One thing I want to ask: Why is your fiancé a retarded water boy?"

"He's not retarded. Demyx is a nice, funny, loveable, guy. He isn't a doctor or lawyer but I still love him." (Awwwww…T-T)

The younger and crazier twin has a look of puking guts and organs right at this second when her sister talked like that. "You've gotten stupid. Everyone in this place seems stupid. Some fruity pink-haired chick showered me with flowers for the bouquet for the wedding."

"Um…the chick is a guy. And he loves flowers. Don't ask."

"Hmph. Whatever, the wedding is tomorrow and I must be beautiful for that and killing you." She snaps her fingers again and the cage disappears. Saraxi hears something spill and she sees Xigbar with a drink in his hand and staring wide-eyed at her. "You got a problem patchy?"

"Coooooooooooooool. What did you do? Like, magic tricks or something?"

Awkward silence, crickets chirping, tumbleweed bouncing past, Panda Bob juggling while walking on a rainbow circus ball (hehe…randomness…), and the sound of Larxene trying to kill Axel for trying to take a peek at her in the shower by shouting "perverted asshole" and shooting lightening.

"Sure let's go with that!" She pushes Xigbar out of the room and slams the door. Saraxi decides to sleep for the rest of the night. But after only five minutes of sleep she hears an explosion.

"ROXAS! DEMYX! YOU HOOLIGANS MIXED THE JUJU POTION WITH THE CHUCKY POTION AGAIN!"

'I wanna go to sleep!' She whines in her mind and takes a pillow to her head to keep the sounds out of her head. But commotion continued and now she knows how good sleep you can get at the castle.

* * *

Today is the day of the wedding boys, girls, dogs, cats, and anyone else reading this story! Siruxa's in a basement at the casino in Vegas where her wedding will take place. Oh the drama of a damsel in distress who will miss her own wedding and be killed at the hands of her mentally Chucky-like sister. 

"There's gotta be something to get me out of this cage. Since when do they have shadow resistant cages?" What she means basically is that Siruxa's power of shadow control are useless records from the 60's that are hiding in Vexen's closet (in yo closet!).

Suddenly the door opens and Lexaeus and Naminé crash through and break Siruxa's prison. "How did you guys find me?"

"Because this Siruxa this morning didn't want my strawberry pancakes with a hot apple pie slice topped with vanilla ice cream. Those are your favorite!"

"Yeah my twin is lactose intolerant and allergic to strawberries."

"Twin?" Naminé asks with innocent curiosity.

"Saraxi is my younger twin who is going to marry Demyx and kill me. She's gonna ruin my dress by stretching it out!"

Lexaeus pulls out a wedding dress of the same type Saraxi took. Siruxa says thanks and takes the dress to change behind a shadow wall she created. She comes out with the wedding dress on and cracks her knuckles with evil devilish intent in her eyes. If you've seen Larxene on her birthday and she got a weapon for a gift, that is what Siruxa looks like right now.

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Swinging organ music plays and everyone is waiting for the bride. Demyx is on Luxord's left and shaking. Some Organization members are happy, others, like Xemnas, are pissed, and others, like Zexion and Xaldin, look like a little bit of both. Panda Bob, who is in a colorful tux blazer, is eating bamboo with Larxene, who is on pet duty. Jinx the cat is on the floor in the same row of seats as Panda Bob and Larxene. No one dared to pick her up since she is in a nap and if you want to keep your eyesight and voice, then don't wake up the cat.

The organ player plays the swinging version of "Here Comes the Bride" and Saraxi enters the room with a nice smile, but deep inside she is grinning like a murdering clown because she is thinking about killing her sister and getting a huge wad of cash for it. She walks to the alter on Luxord's right and is playing it cool.

"Welcome Organization XIII, pets, Naminé, Jimmy the organ player, and the hobo in the back with nothing better to do to the binding of Siruxa a.k.a Shadow Fox a.k.a Shadow Stalker a.k.a Crazy Girl Who Caused Half The Castle To Be Blown Up From Avoiding The SWAT Team Last Week," he takes a deep breath, "and Demyx a.k.a The Melodious Nocturne a.k.a Water boy a.k.a Dumbass Who Went In The Girls' Bathroom In High School. Now are there any objections?"

Xemnas, Xaldin, and Vexen raise their hands but with an evil glare from Larxene they put their hands down. "Now then-"

BOOM and the doors explode. Lexaeus is holding a bazooka accompanied by Naminé and the real bride. "I object! That bitch over there is a fake!"

The organ player makes a surprised soap opera tune to add dramatic affect. "She's lying! I am Siruxa!"

"Dream on slut!"

"You're a bitch!" And then the cat fight starts. Hair was pulled, punches were thrown, kicks were kicked, tons of things that can't be written in this fanfic, and then Luxord breaks up the fight by hitting a giant gong. Siruxa freezes in her chance to chop Saraxi's head off with the added blade side of her boomerang and Saraxi was going to bust a cap in her twin's brain.

"Can't we act like civilized Nobodies? How about a competition? Three different challenges will be held and whoever wins two out of the three competitions is the real Siruxa. First off is Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Siruxa is the best at this game because so many of us lost a lot of money from her victories."

The girls meet Luxord at the alter and they give a showdown of glares. Then the game starts. Siruxa shoots rock, but Saraxi shoots paper. Then Saraxi beats Siruxa with paper beating scissors. Match 1 goes to Saraxi.

"Why didn't you win?" Naminé whispers in Siruxa's ear, questioning her game.

"My twin was always better at this game than me."

"Next is Match 2: Who can humiliate Xemnas the most with hurtful insults?"

"Hey!" Xemnas gets out of his seat, but Zexion lifts the hair off his eye and hypnotizes him to sit down. "Yes master overlord."

Saraxi's up first, trying to make a yo mamma joke. "Yo mamma is so fat that she was Pumba's fatter stunt double in the Lion King!" She only received boos in reply and she falls back. Siruxa's up now and she cracks her knuckles and takes a deep breath. 'Sis wasn't always so good with jokes and insults. This is mine.'

"Xemnas, you are the worse excuse of a man that I have ever laid eyes on. You are nothing but a mentally traumatized little boy with the scream of a little girl and no manliness whatsoever. Xemnas...I pity you because I feel sorry for someone who got anal raped by Michael Jackson and Barney. At least you still have dignity...or whatever is left of it and two inches of manliness that you paid for." Xemnas breaks down crying and sucking his thumb. Everyone is so surprised at this insult that they are speechless. Match 2 goes to Siruxa.

"Now for the final stage. Match 3: Who gives Demyx the better kiss?"

"We object!" Axel and Marluxia stand up, but this time Luxord gives the evil gambling Vegas Darkness glare and they sit down.

Saraxi goes first and takes Demyx into a closet (in yo closet!). Axel and Marluxia are bummed out that they don't get to see the action (perverted Nobodies). But it didn't last long and they get out. Then Siruxa's next. She takes Demyx into the closet (in yo closet!). This however felt long. After twenty minutes she gets out with a smile on her face and Demyx is speechless.

"Ruxy!" He gives the real Siruxa a hug and everyone knows who the winner is. "But if you're the Ru-Ru I know, then who's that?"

Xaldin pours ice cold water all over Saraxi and her disguise wears off. She looks so pissed she can kill a baby bunny, and it takes real anger to kill a cute widdle baby bunny. "YOU…FUCKING…BITCH!" Storm clouds appear and lightening strikes in the room.

"Oh suck it up already. Besides, I've got reinforcements."

SWAT team members crash through the windows and the ceiling has a hole blown through it. Down a rope suspended by a hovering helicopter a slender woman with frizzy red hair and a tall man with brown hair climb down the roof.

"Uh…hi daddy…how was Havana?"

"Don't give me that bull young lady. You tried to kill your sister again didn't you? First things like the attempt with putting almonds in her ice cream when you know your sister's allergic and then trying to drown her in the sink. This has got to stop Arisa."

"But she was being mean!" The mother grabs Saraxi by the ear and leads her to a SWAT officer.

"We are tired of your crazy attitude, young miss. That is not how we raised you."

"Maybe if you didn't let Urisa help me with the swing I wouldn't have fallen on my head!"

The father hits Saraxi on her hands with a stick he pulled out and the officer takes her into a SWAT truck. He turns to his other daughter and his frown turns upside down. "How's my little angel doing?"

"Good dad. This is my fiancé!"

He looks Demyx up and down and has a sad frown. "I don't like him. He looks stupid. But, I guess on the day of my daughter's wedding I must allow this young man to marry you. It is your wish. I had the chance to marry Pam Anderson, but your mother here is impervious to getting hit on the head with the shovel." The mother smacks her husband on the head and has a pout on her face, then turns into a smile.

"I'm so happy for you sweetheart! Now…" She turns to everyone and takes a deep breath. "IF ANY OF YA RUINS HER MARRIAGE Y'ALL ARE GONNA BE KICKING THE BUCKET WITH CAPS IN THE BRAIN!"

"Says who?" Xemnas says without giving a damn of what this lady is saying. Then Siruxa's father snaps his fingers and a bunch of men in suits aim guns at Xemnas. He gives off a old lady's scream and puts his hands up. "OKAY OKAY DON'T BUST A CAP IN MY BRAIN!"

The wedding continues and the couple are now husband and wife. Then everyone heads outside where Demyx's dolphin gummi ship waits with "Just Married" spray painted on the back in white. Xemnas is grinning and clapping at super duper high speed.

"I guess you'll be moving out right?"

"Actually me and Ruxy plan to stay in the castle to stay with our friends!" They give Xemnas a hug, but they don't see him crying tears of defeat. That girl will never leave him alone.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you Shadow Fox?" A SWAT officer asks. Siruxa freezes and puts on a shy little grin to the officer. "Get her!"

She grabs Demyx and they get in the gummi ship and blast off into space where they will go on their possibly whacky honeymoon. The Organization waves them good bye while the SWAT team curses their failure and heads home with their tail between the legs.

It was all a happy moment. Then Axel turns to Larxene with a weird grin on his face. "So, water boy and fugitive got married. How about we do a little somethin' somethin' or whatever?"

"Shut your mouth perverted pyro." Larxene says without looking at him. She looks calm, except for the fact that her temple is throbbing. Then Axel smacks her butt and she clenches her fists. "YOU FUCKING POOR EXCUSE OF A MAN! THUNDER'S REVENGE FIST!"

Larxene gives Axel a super punch with lightening on her fist and the impact of the punch and Axel's face made a thunder cracking sound. Axel is sent flying and all that anyone can see of him is a twinkle in the sky. The twinkle in the sky from Axel's blast into space forms a message that says "The End". Oh the joys of a disfuntional friendship that makes anyone want to cry, laugh, or even puke.

* * *

A/n: I'm gonna miss you guys! (Gives boys a bear hug and cries anime tears) 

Demyx: Me too! T-T

Axel: Can I puke now?

Riku: Can someone give me a gun please?

Me: You're being mean on the last chapter? Bobo get 'em!

(Giant piggy chases Axel and Riku around the set)

Me: Well, this is the end of the road folks. Thanks for reading and reviewing throughout the story!


End file.
